━━━⊱✮Orion✮⊰━━━

This is just a place where I write random stories. Feel free to read them if you'd like.

[orion--writes]

Outside Thinking

Sometimes, people are just tired. There are a lot of different types, but right now I personally am tired of everything. I'm tired of people, I'm tired of bullshit.

I'm tired of trying too hard, I'm tired of trying not hard enough. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough and no matter what I do it will never matter. I'm tired of trying to make people happy.

I'm tired of being the punching bag, tired of being the one everyone goes to only to later blame for their shortcomings.

All in all I'm tired of living in a world where people know me. I'm tired of my mundane life and where its going. I'm tired of having to work 4+ jobs just to survive.

I'm tired. I'm just tired... some days I wish I could sleep forever, other days I'm afraid to fall asleep and most days I can't sleep.

Why do people have to be the way they are? Why can't we simply just exist and mind our own business?

I guess the world can't be like that. I know its not perfect, no one is, but I don't expect perfection, I just want peace.

I want to live in peace and freely be happy. I don't want someone to try to take what little I have from me. All I have now is the tiniest piece of the will to live. I have an idea in mind and I want to see it through.

My perfect peace, with you and me.

[orion--writes]

A Dark Stream

When we die, people are always afraid of what they will see if they see anything at all. As someone who had almost died a multitude of times I can say for certain that when I die I know where I'm going. There is no heaven or hell waiting for me. Just a dark endless void surrounded by an endless see of white stars. At least, they look like stars. These are not stars, but memories of different lives besides your own.

Touch one and you will see through their eyes their memories. Each one as precious as the last. These are the memories that made that person, the good, the bad, and the horrible.

When I touched my memory I saw a scene I do not remember. I was alone at night. It was raining. I was such a small child. The only light I could see was from the street lights and I was crying. I don't remember this memory at all. Perhaps its a memory from a different timeline. I am unsure.

As I drifted through this river that I could not control I kept playing different memories. I slowly was forgetting who I was, why I felt a certain way, what emotions were and why these memories mattered. I truly almost died as I saw the stars around me slowly fade into darkness and this misty river that I could see and feel became warm and empty.

I only came to because I head someone call my name and a voice rang out to me. I did not know who this voice belonged to, but I had to remember who I was. As I tried to go back I could feel my heart beating again, my lungs gasped for air and I opened my eyes to the light of the sky. There I was floating in water and my sister standing next to me. How odd... I felt nothing still, but I did feel... alive.

[orion--writes]

Stars In The Sea

I've always loved the night sky and its reflection on the sea's surface. Watching the waves slowly move back and forth between the tides as the stars in the sky glisten within its waters. Its a type of beauty I can never find anywhere else. I always believed that if there was someone out there I loved--I would see this very same sea reflected in their eyes.

I wonder... Just how far it goes; the ocean I mean. How deep is it? How far can we go? What's below? I've always been curious about what's down under--but even so, I wouldn't be able to see anything if I was down there.

A watery grave, that's what I want for myself. That way I can be one with the things I love most. The sea and the stars.