[gunvolt]

im going to have a stroke

[prideling]

Instead try… Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

[artykyn]

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

[esper-aroon]

Pronouncing your own name with a foreign accent in mid conversation because you can’t switch the accent gears fast enough and then wincing at yourself as your ears scream bloody murder at you.

[kiarakirara-deactivated20210908]

[orphanxlix]

@orphanxii

          Something was wrong with Diego and Nick wanted to find out without setting the guy off… 

----- ----- -----

Discomfort and stress were all over Diego as he continued to scratch away with his short fingernails. Whatever this sensation was, it felt deep like it was beneath his skin. Similar to how one gets an itch deep in their throat, and they can't do anything to satisfy it. With his brow furrowed, he merely shrugged at Nick, having of barely heard his response. He was too preoccupied with this feeling, this itch, this faint crawling, whatever it was.

"You don't think it's a punishment... For going MIA, right? You heard what that Dick guy said... Man, I'm so freaked out!"

[sunsetquotes]

“We can be heroes, just for one day.”

— David Bowie; Heroes

[orphanxlix]

*uNgOdLy ShrIeK*

[ask-meme-addicts]

Roast my muse. Tell them the hard truths about themselves that they need to hear.

[memeingovermemes]

My muse has to tell nothing but the truth for 10 asks.

Ask them funny questions, get personal, query about the people around them or pester them for their deepest darkest secrets - go wild! Include ✘ with the asks!

[kevlarii]

[fullofbugs84uy894ujui9]

[thingsfromthedirt]

[coffinsizedfriends]

Centuries // American Beauty/American Psycho

[detoxxjust-toretoxx]

The Kids Aren’t Alright // Fall Out Boy

[esper-bros-deactivated20210407]

[orphanxii-deactivated20210211]

orphanxlix‌:

As Nick went out to investigate, Diego held his rifle close to his chest, action ready. He kept a close eye on his buddy’s surroundings, prepared to let lead fly. He had Nick’s back, he never wanted to let Nick down. Not ever. “Is the coast cleared, man?” He whispered loudly to Nick, as his eyes continued to dart around the area. When he saw Nick jump on in to the vehicle, he knew everything was going to be fine. Not a second was wasted as he darted towards the vehicle and jumped into the passengers side. He didn’t put his seat belt on- he’d much rather risk flying out of the vehicle rather than brig stuck inside with zombies trying to get at him. The barrel of his gun was pointed out the window, and he was prepared to kick- or shoot- some zombie ass.

Diego had a brief flashback. Paintball. Summer camp. Lots of trees and mosquitos. Nick and Diego, back to back. The memory was brief, and he snapped out of it just as quickly as he tuned into it. “I don’t wanna hold you back, Nick. I’m always gonna be ready whenever you need me.” He adjusted himself in his seat so he could comfortably line up a shot if need be. Diego, he had formal firearms training when he went into the army. Not only that, but formal hand-to-hand combat training too. If only they had PTSD training too. He was a formadible soldier, but abandoning his squad- it broke something in him… But he would never do that to Nick. Not in a million years. “Let’s do this shit, man! I believe in you!”

          Nick casts a single look over to Diego before pulling out and making his way as best he could down the road. Diego was going to have his back and Nick would have his in turn. He would protect him just like when they were younger. They were family after all. The only thing that they had at that age… and the strongest thing they had now. They had to stick together and, while Rhonda was concerned about Diego’s condition… Nick wouldn’t allow anything to happen to him. Even if he was acting strangely. Hell… he couldn’t blame the guy. Zombies? Who would have thought. It was like something out of a horror film, and it was hell.

          “I saw a safe house not too far from here, Annie might be there. Let’s try not to attract more attention than we need, yeah? I’d like to avoid as much conflict as possible- to preserve our weapons of course.” Because they needed what they had. Sure, there was a surplus of items laying around that he could combine to make more weapons, but still. Conserving them proved helpful in the end- especially with guns. Finding ammunition was hard.

[orphanxlix]

"About that... T-the guns..." Diego hesitated as he spoke as an uncomfortable expression fell upon his face. "There have been some sketchy military guys hanging around all over the city. They've got guns, but they're shooting more than just zombies, man..." He took Nick's advice as he tucked himself away back into the vehicle and rolled the window up. Holding onto the dash, he continued. "I don't know who they are or who the work for. Spec ops? FBI? They're all in uniform and they're... Nick, they're shooting innocent people! I... We've gotta do something, man! Some messed up shit is going on and the entire city is in the dark of it all the while being in the middle of it!"

[orphanxii-deactivated20210211]

orphanxlix‌:

Diego had his assault rifle strapped to his back, but that wouldn’t be enough. He grabbed onto the nearest item that could serve as a weapon: a shovel. “I’ve seen some shit, man, but this…” The poor man took in a deep breath as his hands trembled lightly. “I’ll avenge my squad… I will, on my life, I will! I’m not going to be a coward, Nick. You know, when we were kids, you always watched out for me. You always had my back. I’m not gonna stand behind you anymore, man. I’m gonna fight with you this time!” The more he spoke, the louder he got, and the louder he got, the more bold he felt. His trembles ceased as he followed Nick outside as a stern expression plastered itself onto his face.

          He can’t help the smile on his face. It was true that, when they were younger, Nick was the older brother in a sense. He protected Diego. He looked out for him. Loved him like he were family. The two grew up together and, while they might’ve gone their separate ways as adults, they still kept close contact. Nick would never ever lose the love he had for his friend.

          “Yeah, I think this is the worst anyone in Los Perdidos has seen.” It was something out of the movies. No one expected an outbreak let alone to be caught in the middle of it. But Nick and Diego? They had it. They would survive through it, there was no doubt. “Keep your voice down though, man. Remember, those things are attracted to noise. The louder you are, the more will know your location and-” He playfully elbows Diego in the side. “Don’t worry about fighting just yet man. There’s nothing wrong with needing help and nothing wrong with not being ready yet, okay? When you’re ready, you’re ready. Don’t force it, okay?” He’d like to keep Diego as innocent as he still could in a zombie apocalypse. Let the fella retain some sort of normalcy before they escaped to a functioning society.

          Nick slips outside, signalling to Diego to stay by the door while he snuck around to the car. He had to make sure there weren’t many dead there and, if there were, he had to clear them out before he could get inside. The bastards, though slow and easy to kill, were smart enough to attack the vehicles that survivors drove down the street. That’s why there were so many burning cars… Checking for a clear view, Nick is pleasantly surprised. There are hardly any zombies back here. So he whistles for Diego to follow, hopping into the drivers seat and starting up the engine. His first goal was to find that safe house he saw driving here- Annie could be there and, if she was, she could help them find fuel.

[orphanxlix]

As Nick went out to investigate, Diego held his rifle close to his chest, action ready. He kept a close eye on his buddy's surroundings, prepared to let lead fly. He had Nick's back, he never wanted to let Nick down. Not ever. "Is the coast cleared, man?" He whispered loudly to Nick, as his eyes continued to dart around the area. When he saw Nick jump on in to the vehicle, he knew everything was going to be fine. Not a second was wasted as he darted towards the vehicle and jumped into the passengers side. He didn't put his seat belt on- he'd much rather risk flying out of the vehicle rather than brig stuck inside with zombies trying to get at him. The barrel of his gun was pointed out the window, and he was prepared to kick- or shoot- some zombie ass.

Diego had a brief flashback. Paintball. Summer camp. Lots of trees and mosquitos. Nick and Diego, back to back. The memory was brief, and he snapped out of it just as quickly as he tuned into it. "I don't wanna hold you back, Nick. I'm always gonna be ready whenever you need me." He adjusted himself in his seat so he could comfortably line up a shot if need be. Diego, he had formal firearms training when he went into the army. Not only that, but formal hand-to-hand combat training too. If only they had PTSD training too. He was a formadible soldier, but abandoning his squad- it broke something in him... But he would never do that to Nick. Not in a million years. "Let's do this shit, man! I believe in you!"

[profitxmargin]

He didn’t correct him.  He didn’t know what Alejandra looked like? He’s lying.

“That girl? No no, don’t worry. She’s just sleeping in the other room.” Albert waved his hand while responding while drinking.

He cocked his head to the side slightly as he rubbed the side of his head; motioning over to the corner of the room he’d gotten the drink from. “Feel free to get more if you need it.”

“Now, You look strong, -no offense of course-  but you really think you and that tiny girl can move all of that?”

[orphanxlix]

"Oh my God. Man, you had me really worried, you know?!" The moment he heard the new, he set the drink down. "I don't need anymore, I'll be fine." As fine as he will ever be. He made bis way to the other room and, sure enough, there she was. Exactly how Nick had described her. In Spanish, he spoke to her. "C'mon girl, wake up! You're gonna be okay." He stared at her for a few short moments before turning back to Albert. "She's a strong woman, she'll..." Diego blinked a couple times. Something didn't feel right. "I mean we'll..." A dizzy spell came over him as he rubbed his eyes. "We'll be fine... Man..." The last thing that he could remember was the ground approaching his face at a high speed.

[profitxmargin]

“Military, eh?”   An eyebrow was cocked, him looking over his shoulder as he tossed back the rest of his drink.  “Bout time someone came for it.”

He poured another drink of his own before grabbing another glass and pouring one for the other man; walking over and handing it out to him in a nicer gesture than he’d usually act. “Drink?”

  “Alejandra..” Albert glanced at the girl on the table, trying hard to think of what her name was. It didn’t start with an ‘A’.. Oh right. Alejandra was the pretty little brunette drugged out in the other room. He’d actually gotten her to introduce herself before everything.   

“Alejandra.. Shorter woman? Darker skin, black hair? Gorgeous brown eyes?” He was just testing now. A calm, if tired half smile on his face.

[orphanxlix]

Diego shook his head and declined the offer, he didn't trust this guy enough to accept anything from him and it wasn't like he was desperately thirsty. However, when he looked at the dead girl and repeated that name, he got a little nervous. He was to late to save her, wasn't he... "Shit, man, you didn't... That isn't..." Had he failed to save someone once again? The gun in his hands trembled, and the urge to shoot was immense. Not now Diego, he thought to himself. "If Alejandra is dead, then..." He began to feel light headed, he really was useless wasn't he. Diego rubbed the side of his head as he began to feel discomfort. "On second thought..." he whimpered as he ended up accepting the drink and gulping it down. Maybe he actually was dehydrated and it was getting to him... He didn't know. All that he knew was that he wasn't good for anything.