Deborah

One day I'll win an Oscar and then ya'll can say ya'll knew me from my Tumblr days. She/her 

[oscar4bestactress]

5 May 2024

It's 11:44 PM.

I am sitting in my dark bedroom staring in the white abyss of my laptop studying for finals. The subject is quite interesting, I'm actually enjoying learning about Island-Chain Strategy, although I look outside the window at intervals to look at the one, very bright star in the sky I can see from this position on my bed. I feel great, even more great because a couple hours ago I wasn't feeling all that nice. But I washed that energy off of me with my hawaiin coconut and dark coffee body wash. My body feels good and I smell divine as I let raw guitar blues be the soundtrack to this sweet homely evening. I fulfilled and I like my life. A text sits on my phone, from my lover, saying to call if I get done studying, he's gonna sleep late too. The ease of us makes me grin like kid. I feel great in this moment and I feel ecstatic in the knowledge that tomorrow brings more sweetness. I get to give an exam that I know I am so utterly prepared for, I get to meet all my friends, even the seniors who'll leave in a couple of days, and after all the chit and chat and laughing like a buffoon with my best friend I get to sit and talk about every little thing with my man. It's so easy, so sweet, so utterly perfect for me, the life I have now, and it feels so good and because it feels so good I know I am on the right path and I am choosing the right things for me. And I don't even mind the extreme heat of my city during this time, I feel glad to sit against a tree, get whatever shade we get, and I feel so good feeling the sun on my skin, and he looks so good, sitting next to me, in our shared lethargy, and I gotta say, God. I feel like honey.

[niuniente]

“Psyche in Scorpio, the most introspective and intense of the Water signs, implies deep empathy. You can be very empathic towards those you feel connected to, and they will feel like you can read their minds when you’re with them. You sense their emotions and sometimes react in your own way as though they are your emotions, even though they are emotions reflected upon you. In relationships: You yearn for a deep understanding from a partner, his desires must meet yours on a level that you will feel love-making as soul-union. You tend to feel things to the core, and you react with all your being. You want to share a meaningful unity with your partner. Your intense emotions are often tempered with a secret shyness and a respect for you partner, provided he treats you with equal respect. The Soulmate union that you seek and offer is one that is beautiful, transcendent and cosmic in nature. A connection with you gives them a sense that you blow their mind! The love that you need is not found in those who are just physical or material. You need depth, understanding, meaningfulness and love from a person who would be able to offer you emotional safety and security, equality, true love and fulfillment. You wish for someone who would be able to dream with you, be awake with you, hold you when you’re feeling weak, support you in emotional ways to keep you strong and focused. A person strong enough to be your equal. A mate strong enough to stand naked in their soul, meeting your true self behind all your façades. Don’t deny your hidden true self, or wait for someone to give you permission to be who you really are. The answer to the question of you cannot be someone else’s job to answer, it’s yours. Your secret heart desires to be found, accepted, loved, cherished, adored and embraced. Be it in friendship, in love or in marriage. This is also where you are strongest and most vulnerable; because your ability to feel or know” what people are thinking, they might consider you someone to be feared or avoided once they feel you know them too well and they wouldn’t want you to see too much into them. The lover who betrays her trust to even the teensiest degree is out that door, forgotten in a moment. She knows her journey is to find ‘the one’”

—  God I love astrology! It’s a wonderful way to find out why you are what you are or find out who you really are.   If you have anything you’d like to know from your natal chart, drop me a note. 

[oscar4bestactress]

When the professor enters class wearing a tweed jacket and plaid shirt, a folder in hand and a TA following him, like giving full movie professor vibes you KNOW the lecture is about to be LIT AF!!!

[oscar4bestactress]

I am a WHORE for notebooks, mugs, those cheap kid rings that light up, lollipops, stickers, candles, pens, funky socks, scented lotion, sudoku, glitter nail polish, chess, lip gloss, horoscopes, new phone case, those discontinued cameras in pink & red colors with stickers put on them, flowersss, sleeping mask, smell of books, books, bookmarks, hugs, coffee and you!!!

🍭🍊👾💋🐦☕🎧🦩♟🍒🎆🍀🐞🎻📸💌🧿🔮

[oscar4bestactress]

December midnights, Billie Holiday playing on speaker, dim lights in my kitchen, a warm fuzzy sweater on, flour on my hands as I mix the pie dough, stawberries cut in a bowl, dancing & eating hersey's kisses in between, smell of pie wafting from my oven, lopping whipped cream on my pie, content & happy, as content & happy someone lonely can be.

[oscar4bestactress]

I'm currently watching 4 shows at the same time and reading 3 books simultaneously.

That's the best way I can describe my mental health.

[oscar4bestactress]

Everything aches

Where once I held love

To be yours

That is my only desire

[oscar4bestactress]

I love how deactivating your Instagram is the ultimate sign, the epitome of bad mental health.

I may not have left my bed in the past week but oh no no I just deactivated insta, NOW shit is srs.

[quotemadness]

“Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.”

— Maggie Kuhn

[flowerytale]

Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Jean-Paul Sartre

[nymphpens]

"fuck you my child is completely fine"

your child reads classic literature for fun

[memeuplift]

[oscar4bestactress]

When I say show me you love me instead of saying you love me, I mean this.

[memeuplift]

[ivenoidea-ness-deactivated20240]

I hate the way that u tend to always show up at my front door when I am on the verge of getting over you,and I hate the way i always let you in more, I hate that I still invite you in and prepare you a cup of coffee just the way you like it, I hate the fact that I still remember how you like your coffee, I hate that you're wearing a blue shirt when showing up at my door because as much as i hate to admit it I like to think that you chose to wear that color because you still remember that it's my favorite, I hate the fact that each time you show up again you bring hope with you, I hate that I am still hoping for us to have our happily ever after. I hate that tonight I'll be crying over you again, i hate that tonight you'll be with her again, i hate that the reason you come to my door is never the one i hope for, i hate that we fought for everything except us , i hate that you replaced me so easily, i hate that you're happier without me, i hate that you're being a better man for someone who isn't me, I hate it, i hate that, i hate you two together, the smiles, the fucking smile that used to be destined to me is now for her, your eyes are shinning brighter looking at her, the way you're always following her with your eyes, the way that you're pulling her by her waist, whispering words in her ear, sweet words, the sweet words you barely said to me, I hate it, I hate seeing you two together.

[playboibunny69-deactivated20241]

Currently in my I miss him era

[i-wish-we-never-met]

I wish the thoughts of you will just leave me as easy as the way you walk away

[mindless-musing-deactivated2023]

My heart has gotten so used to loving you that it doesn't remember how it felt before not loving you.

And now that you are not here anymore, my heart does not know how to go back to being the heart that didn't worship you.

So tell me how am I supposed to mend my heart when it considered loving you to be as important as pumping blood?