REAL LIFE SMP OUT OF CONTEXT
Change pronouns/phrasing as necessary.
Warning for some suggestive themes, murder, violence, vomiting and mention of suicide
"I just watched my friend die before my eyes"
"Do you want a treat? WELL NO!"
"Chickens are horrifying"
"And we're probably gonna throw up, and we're probably gonna fall over, and it's probably gonna go horribly"
"Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation"
"Right here. Right. Not down there. Right here. Not down the hole"
"Sorry, I just had to jump"
"We just need to cower in there at night, it's fine"
"Mama didn't tell me about food hygiene"
"Thanks, I had my growth spurt"
"You know what happens if you give me this"
"It worked last time. Here you go"
"This can be my coffin, [NAME], when you inevitably kill me again!"
"You look like you're trying to exorcise him with a flower."
"The power of the poppy compels you!"
"Maybe I am afraid of heights"
"Dude, I just punched my screen"
"Taxes suck and my friends are all dying around me"
"I gotta make friends with tall people, I feel like it's important"
"I'm coming straight down, like a bad boy!"
"Dude I just face planted the wood"
"I'm suddenly enjoying that we're lonely"
"A meter is still a meter in America!"
"Turns out I just needed to be in VR to be awesome"
"THERE'S A ZOMBIE, [NAME]! I don't know what to do! AAHHHHH!!!!"
"It's crazy that we both got that middle name. Which is even crazier cause it's crazy"
"I've got my legs up like a girl at a sleepover"
"Can you not look like you're trying to slice your head open with a sword?"
I was just minding my own business, and I got MURDERED"
"Give me bread. I'm begging , [NAME], please could I have some bread?"
"I do this to get away from having kids, I don't need two more, are you kidding me?!"
"This is going to be a hard pill to swallow"
"My pants kinda came off for a second, but it's okay"
"How about we just go kill ourselves?"
"Oh! I'm ascending! I HAVE ASCENDED!"
"I feel like trying to console you with a sword to the cranium is not helping"
"Why is [NAME] crying on the floor?"
"Is this the closest we're ever gonna get to making out?"
"Why did you do that ? Why did you say that?"
"I don't have a weapon on me, I'm holding a piece of melon"
"I kill the big one, you kill the little one"
"[NAME] get away from my backside!"
"But it's such a pretty backside!"
"I walk in front of you, you shout cow, I don't know what to say"
"I can hear you. I can hear you cowering"
"Can I pet you on the head?"
"Can I feed you my sword?"
"This is the greatest day of my insignificant little life"
"Just say that you're scared of me"
You wanna play with the big dawg?!
"Don't worry, I'm going in hard here"
"I definitely said donkey"
"I'm also contemplating if I'm going to throw up or not"
"Stupid old men trying to figure out technology shouting at clouds"
"There once were two men in a hole.."
"Why are you chilling with a sword?!"
"I want to join the club"
"He wants to join the club!"
"Wait, this means death?!"
"No, I'm not petting you! Go away!"
"Right, who's getting married? Let's make it official"
