Existentialism, Absurdism, or Nihism?
I think it is important to accept the lack of meaning of existence, before attempting to search for one's own meaning. I think it is natural, understandable, empowering, and valid to create meaning for yourself, if that is what allows you to survive in this world. I have no judgement of people who require a hypothetical “objective” purpose.
However, I relish in staring into the void of chaotic meaninglessness, of a totality of pointlessness that overwhelms us all. It is...freeing. There are no true expectations of us, existence is simultaneously nothing, and everything.
I will not retreat into illusions of an objective intention for comfort, or for consolation. Being alive is itself enough.
You may question whether that indicates I do not have feelings for people around me, goals, or morals. I have all of these aspects of life. I continue to have activities, people, and creatures that bring me great joy, and situations, people, and activities which do not.
I care for people, sympathise with others, and have no desire to cause harm.
In that way, subjectively, I suppose some may say I do have a “meaning” for living, I simply believe that, ultimately, it is all absurd. Experiencing existence, life, joy, sadness, fear, all for nothing, and for no reason, is far more liberating to me, than to search for something outside of that.
However, who am I to say my worldview is the correct one? Humans are, after all, beings who naturally search for and strive for purpose. In the end, none of my opinions will matter anyway.