Shelby's Stream of Conciousness @oughto-biography - Tumblr Blog

Sept 9 - hi

July 1, 2023 - like why do I need signage that says "unplugged ceremony" for our wedding. Can people just assume this...can I trust them to assume this...how often do they just whip out their phone anyways no matter what a sign says 🫠 I think I'd rather spend the money on two seating charts TBR.

April 30, 2022 - hello we are flying to Ireland today, I got eyelash extensions and a brow tint to prepare and wowza truly I woke up like this. And then after we get back in two weeks I'm putting in my two weeks at my bank job and then gonna start working as an events and programs coordinator for the municipality. And then I gotta get married. Crazy times. I still creep on ya all, and I know I should journal more for my own health. End of statement lmao no buts. Have a great day folks.

April 6, 2023 - Just a random blip of thought that I want to make effort to working out again. A program or something. With the little realization that WHILE YOU SHOULD NEVER WORK OUT TO "EARN" YOUR FOOD, there is something to be said that eating at maintenance or surplus is a more efficient way to "gain muscle" and it could at least put my 'over calorie' days to good use.

P.s. I find it sometimes difficult to post things because I feel like I always need to qualify that I know my way of thinking isn't always perfect lmao. It's like the weight of knowing the bullshit of diet culture and the fact that every body is different and the crushing need to ensure that I *know* there is debate over every single aspect of body health and wellness. It even bleeds into real conversation when I hear ppl say concerning shite.

April 4, 2023 - why do food tracking measurements so often to be in cups...like grams plzzz

#myfitnesspal

engulfes

(gripping the sink) yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring

Me: wants to save money and eat more thoughtfully (read: stop eating fast food and buying junk food randomly), two goals which truly complement each other.

Me: continues to do both or constantly think about doing both.

sbinalino-deactivated20230402

2023 list of luckiest to unluckiest birthdays

oughto-biography

Not me painstakingly looking for December 13th 🥺😂

flowergrenades

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

#me always wanting that highest score

January 26, 2023 - Slept in to 6:30 a.m., did some banking, re-glued on my nails, did not walk on the treadmill. Yesterday wasn’t a walking day either…probably less than 5,000 steps. I dont’ really have an excuses, because it’s not really been a goal. Maybe I should go back to check-mark-list Shelby, she did things.

Not to say I didn’t do things yesterday. I called the venue to confirm the contract is the same, and how much is left to pay off. I called the AGCO (where we buy alcohol permits for special events in Ontario) and used the LCBO chat (where we have to buy hard liquor in Ontario). I was hearing a lot of conflicting information from bartending services, and now I know why!

The AGCO says the special events permit is $100 more if we want to “make profit”, which I don’t think a toonie bar is necessarily “profit” but nevertheless. I ask whether or not they know if SOP holders will get the same inflated price that restaurants in Ontario get (they are, or at least used to be, charged a 6 per cent mark up on alcohol to buy wholesale ((yes this is horribly counter-intuitive when you read the words wholesale))). They say the LCBO will know, and does so in kind of a shitty tone. The LCBO has nothing on their website so I open a customer service chat.

They immediately tell me to check the website. I said I did, and there’s nothing on there. They tell me to contact ACGO. I said I just got off the phone with them, and they told me to ask the LCBO. They say I’ll know if there’s a mark up when I go to buy. I say that makes it pretty hard to plan, doesn’t it! I ask if they can at least see if it’s the 6 per cent that restaurants have, but note that even that’s been revoked as of this year. They stay hard and fast on waiting until I buy to see the mark up. I ask if the individual LCBO stores will know, and they said “if they put something through their till”. ARGHH. So I am hoping to ask our local LCBO if they can help me out and I am going to post the answer EVERYWHERE.

I also finished my accounting homework and got through a bunch of math homework. Math sucks lmao. Fractions suck. My brain is totally not wired for it anymore and it is HARD. Finding the lowest common denominator??? Prime factorization?? ARGH

I am back to work today, I am going to try to bring some positive energy. The hours have changed so instead of done at 5 p.m. we are done at 6 p.m. and that extra hour is a mental zap but we’ll get through it. Tonight will be more math homework. And after posting this, I am going to be writing a long email to our math teacher to clarify what the fuck is going on.

Does anyone recommend a mass block/report extension 🤦‍♀️ it's really gotten outta control, I think I may go private

I sat down with all the good intentions in the world at 7:15 a.m. to poke at some school work. Instead, I worked on organizing some of the creative writing collab brainstorming and added in more of my own. And now it’s 7:40, and I have a craving for a Tim Hortons bagel, and I want to work it into my day. I did at least get to walk for half a mile on the treadmill but the whole reason I cut the walk short was to focus on schoolwork. Yikeseroni.

Today is morning training for work, all about customer service. That will be from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., and then I am back from lunch at 2 p.m. and then I just need to get through three hours of actual work. Not a bad start to the week, especially with Wednesday being off.

Wednesday’s to-do is pretty big

Acct Notes, then the quiz and assignment (two hours)

Math - complete the study plan so I know what the hell the test is on (maybe two hours?)

Call town re: wedding venue rental, see if our contract holds, ask about the mandated two bartenders, ask what we are missing (honestly 15 minutes, might just go in person to save time)

Call LCBO to get it fucking straight what the fuck is going on and which bartender is lying to me (who knows honestly)

Update wedding planning stuff (hour maybe? I probably will dick around)

Start reaching out fro emails for guest list (sort of an all day thing but I can do it one swoop while watching some TV)

On some random side notes, sometimes I think about watching Walking Dead now that it is done. But I also feel like…out of the TV game. I love YouTube but for some reason sitting down for a show seems like a nightmare. SO and I are watching King of the Hill and I keep finding myself looking at my phone. Just bad habits all around that I can’t pay attention for a whole 20 minute show, let alone 45 minutes. But it’s also like, I just feel I can be more productive…so then I get distracted and mean to be productive…but then I fuck around. Anyways, I am serious that I really need to stop looking at shorts/reels/tiktoks/blech. I don’t even have tiktok downloaded but now every service has a copy cat! It’s such actual garbage in the brain.

I get paid this week. It seems like I am finally over some humps but I am still struggling to save. I went and bought $30 of Amazon this week (scientific calculator because the math class won’t let us use our phones for the test, which i get but also….uGH. Like the whole point of math is that…you can’t really cheat?? At least to me. Y’know what I’m saying? LIke if the test is fresh-written….the “answer” won’t be online, you still need to do the work. And even in terms of copying the formula, it’s like…you still need to know how to work it?

There are just a lot of expensive things coming. We booked a trip to Ireland in May. I probably have $7,000 in taxes to be owed this year, and I will need to request a payment plan. I have a wedding, and my parents are covering most of the costs but still…$100 for a deposit here, $200 for a makeup trial there. I keep reminding myself that money comes back, that we are in a stable place, that I don’t even keep a credit on my balance card, and that I paid off a line of credit twice before. We can do it again.

The 10-minute timer is on.

Please, Shelby, stop crushing all your MIL ideas about the wedding. She totally had a good point about separating the long tables. All you had to say was thank you, I’ll totally think about it. Not make up some rambling excuse. Just in general, gentler, gentler, gentler please.

This weekend went well for wedding stuff, we have an officiant and a DJ. What we have left is how we are doing the bartending. It’s getting frustrating to hear different answers from different companies about what the government actually wants. And, frankly, it’s annoying that the Ontario gov’t needs to be involved at all. I get needing a permit, for liability. I can even understanding charging more for that permit, if we are charging money. But for a one-night event…a wedding…where no one is profiting, we’re just trying to cut even…to charge the wholesale price that they charge the bars seems straight up cruel. We really don’t want an open bar, between curbing our heavy drinkers and trying to keep costs minimal, so we thought a toonie bar was a good middle ground. Apparently not. Also, I get that the event bartending services aren’t necessarily motivated to be wholly transparent because I know its more work for them to navigate tickets or toonies.

I am in school again and Math is proving to be stupid. The prof has an outline which says we were supposed to have two assignments so far, one for whole numbers, one for fractions. We only have been given the whole numbers assignment. The announcement today is about a closed-book test on Whole Numbers and Fractions. So I need to make sure to spend Wednesday doing the practice stuff for Fractions and then hopefully squeeze in time for the test.

Wednesday also needs to be me updating my wedding-so-far spreadsheet and following up where I need to follow up.

SO is sick, coughing and sneezing and achy. I have sympathy but also it’s frustrating because it’s gross lmao. And he gets so mad about it, and it’s like…dude you’re sick. That’s all there is to it. Take medicine, sleep, etc.

I had to drop $20 on a damn scientific calculator today for said test cuz obviously you can’t use your phone, but it’s pink so that’s fun.

Writing character sheets for the collab writing site has been fun. I kind of am stuck on female characters, trying to see if I can think of an idea for a male. But then I’m like…why do I need to insist on a balance. Old RP rules coming back to bite me.

WOOF. I last sat down to journal to a timer on November 10. But there’s no time like the present.

The job is going well. I really enjoy my coworkers, I think I have a handle on a lot of the practical aspects, and I hope with more time and knowledge I’ll begin feeling more comfortable pushing for sales. I work in a bank now! And yes, it seems weird to me too that the tellers are expected to make sales.

The schoolwork is moving. Another incompetent teacher in my Math class, and then the computer-is-teaching-us in my Accounting 2 class. The Math class doesn’t have weekly homework at least…. Well, from what we can see and understand. Again, incompetent teacher issue.

The wedding planning is moving. We are going to a wedding show this weekend, and I’m going to sit down and start reaching out to people for their email as we’ve nailed down the guest list. Tonight we are meeting with a potential officiant. We talked to one guy but he was $$$ and also had a pricey mileage fee because he would be coming from an hour and a half away. So I’m willing to shop around a little more.

The creative writing friends are trying to get back together for some collab writing. I’m a little worried about it, as it’s a lot of work for just a few people. But I am planning on stepping back and letting them take the reins. I’ll hop in with two feet when they’re ready, but I can’t really justify wasting a ton of time trying to argue for something I’m only half-hearted in.

I’ve been counting calories again, which is moreso just food logging in my mind. I am trying to walk a mile every morning, and take a 15 minute walk at lunch. I’m averaging some 7,000 steps. However, I think that this is a small bit at a time kind of habit. People can trim down with just CICO, and I don’t want to overwhelm myself by also pushing myself into a crazy exercise routine. I’ll add in a bit at a time.

Timer is up! Y’all have a great day.

P.S. I’m also hopelessly addicted to Stardew for the first time.

December 21, 2022 - I know everyone has complained about it but...them spam accounts eh

December 13, 2022 - happy birthday to me 👯‍♀️ it is my 30th!

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