My tales of screams

Just a girl

[our-whispersoffaith]

Body black and blue. Wearing out my shoes

[our-whispersoffaith]

I just want to matter. I want to be usefull.

[our-whispersoffaith]

I guess this is it than? Do we finally give up the fight and just wait around untill my days end. I feel like I have to break contact with everyone. And it might hurt them in the beginning but in the long run it will be better for them.

[2armsnaheartbeat]

[our-whispersoffaith]

Honey

What are you doing? Nobody's out there to get you. Your friends don't hate you, it's your mind who plays tricks on you. Nobody is laughing behind your back so why do you think they do?

Is it them laughing or is it you.

[our-whispersoffaith]

I don't like this new era where everybody is becoming a parent. I dont fit in this bullshit. I have to adept to keep ppl around me but tbh I dont want to talk about bbys al fucking day long.

And maybe its because I'm not in the same situation. I never have had the chance to live a normal life. And I was working to get my teenage life back but it took so long and life didn't wait for me. So everyone else around me grew up and are adults now.

Meanwhile im still searching for freedom.And the ironic thing is.. if I didn't had them ppl in my life I gave up long ago cause I wanted to experience life with them. But I dont want it anymore. Just give me a bed and I'll wait untill my final day comes around and im finally done.

[our-whispersoffaith]

Am I going crazy ? I try to be happy but more than ever I want to die inside of me. I think everybody is judging me. Having such a hard time trusting anybody. Feeling like everybody suddenly hates me.. I dunno who's gonna save me

[our-whispersoffaith]

So.. I am alone on this one. I dont think there's anybody who can help me. And I keep on trying to help myself. But I'm tired. I just want to let go . Just as other ppl got to do with me.

[our-whispersoffaith]

I live a loveless empty life

But I spin her around and make her my wife

[our-whispersoffaith]

I didn't even got to say goodbye to the old me, the version of me that could run wild and free..

But I miss her more than I thought I would

[our-whispersoffaith]

It does feel lonely when you have nobody to relate to

[our-whispersoffaith]

I keep on telling myself I can't give anyone a trauma bc of my suïcide. But I don't know how long I can hold on to those words anymore.

[livingwithmyemptiness]

[our-whispersoffaith]

Tell me, why did you feel the urge to cage me. To stop me from screaming. Tell me, why did you called it love?

Why did you act like I was the dirtiest person on earth. So I wouldn't leave you?

Why did you loved the tears in my eyes? Just so you could run off and tell everybody I abused you while my nose was still running over with blood?

Why did you tell me you were the only one who loved me while you were planning the best way to kill me ?

Tell me, why didn't I see this? Why did I let this happen. Why did nobody helped me ?

Why do you still have a active role in my life even after all these years I haven't seen you. Why does it feel like I'd be safer in that cage again? Am I still a prisoner?

[warpedlxngs]

there’s just so much pain and i’m alone with it all.

[our-whispersoffaith]

Nobody cares.

[just-a-lonely-nobody]

[our-whispersoffaith]

Trying to stay supportive of your friend cause she struggles mentally. Although she totally forgets to support me in my struggle is not easy. But I keep trying. I am used to give up on someone who ignored me. Because I am afraid they are going to leave me. But I wanted to act different in such situations because ppl don't always want to just leave me. Sometimes they are struggling just as hard as me or even worse than me. But they are just not capable of supporting someone else when they feel like that. And I have to learn that that's okay. Although I could use some help and support too.