i miss you
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Today's Document

if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
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@ourjourneyinhd
i miss you
Distance.
It’s undeniable how much affection I have for you, but it’s so hard being away from you. I can’t understand why the distance is still affecting so much of my everyday life.Â
Spending the summer with you, I had someone to talk to everyday, to wake up to everyday, to go places with everyday, to do things with everyday, and the list goes on.Â
Without you, it’s like restarting the entire relationship again. I don’t understand why it’s getting so hard all over again. I was set on waiting a year, but then I had to wait a little longer, okay. Being so close, it only got further, so here’s to more waiting. I feel like I’m spending so much of my time just waiting, waiting to be embraced, waiting to feel the real we have.
Without you by my side, the realness feels like a dream.. it doesn’t feel real because of how long we’ve been apart.Â
I love you, but I miss you and I need you. The distance and absence is doing a number on me.
it’s been almost two months since a year, and I still love you the same amount, if not more <3
On Wednesday, August 12, 2015, he finally asked me to be his girlfriend.
I said yes, and now he’s my boyfriend :3 I can’t but fall for him more and more. I can’t wait to spend the coming days with him. I can’t wait to spend my holidays with him. I can’t wait to spend important moments with him. He gave me a dozen roses. We’re going to have a long distance relationship. I just saw him on Sunday, and I miss him so much.
Well, this just happened. I'm so excited for this to come in!! Just a few more days until I get to see bae <3 ahhh, can't wait! >_<
I'm Just Counting Down the Days Until I Get To See You, Hun.
7 August 2015
Yay, it's Friday! Also my last day in Canada. Sadface. I'm still trying to find a Starbucks gift card with a Canada design to give to him. So far, every Starbucks I went to said they ran out :( hopefully I can find one before we leave. By the time this day is over, we'll be in Oregon I believe. That means, we'll be in the states, and that means my phone will be back in service, and all in all, that means I finally talk to him ^-^ it's been a gruesome few weeks. But it's fine I guess, since the way we started was thru texting/messaging.
Four more days.
It's Thursday. I miss you. I can't handle not being able to see you. Just a few more days until I get to see you. I don't want our days to be over. It would be nice, if the days we'll be spending together will last a long time.. if time could just stop and we could just be in each other presence. I miss holding your hand. I miss talking to you. I miss driving with you. I miss kissing you. I miss us. I can't wait to see you again.
Canada Day 2 (Road trip day 4)
6 August 2015 2:30 AM
I really like being in Canada, and being abroad, and outside the US. But I don’t like it cause I can’t talk to him. It sucks, but I guess it’s fine.. I get to spend some quality time with my cousin’s family.
We walked around a lot and did a lot of things today. We went to Canada Place, then Stanley Park, then drove over Stanley Bridge (if that’s the name of the bridge), then we went to Capilano’s Suspension Bridge Park. That was the funnest part, but walking on so many shaky bridges started to make me dizzy :/ hmm, then afterwards, we finished and went back to the hotel, but we went to go eat at the mall first.Â
Anyways, being in Canada is really great and all, but it’s meh not being able to talk to him. Hmm, so when we got back to the hotel and I was all wifi settled, I messaged him on Couple and was waiting for a reply, but he took so long.. haha I even went to message Aldrin to text Dj to reply to me, but Dj replied to me like right after I told Aldrin to message him. Anyways, our conversation felt really dull today. And the fact that we couldn’t video chat or call each other kinda sucked. Oh well. Just a few more days until we’re back and then it’s our getaway together :3
150806-0252
31 July 2015
Today, I drove from Fresno to SJ to SF. I left around 1pm, got gas, and left. Got to SJ around 3:30pm to drop off my sister at Vi’s house and left booked it to SF to pick him up from work. Traffic was so bad that it took me 2 hours to get there. Ohyah, traffic was so bad that I had time to put on eyeliner and everything, omg. lmfao #makeupstruggles
Anyways, so I told him to call me once he was out, cause I didn’t wanna drive past his work place and not have been able to pick him up. So he called me, and I was able to pick him up on time ;) He got (Banana Split frap) Starbucks (for me?) lol. He went to Starbucks so much that the barista knew him, she gave it to him for free since it would be the last time they’d see each other (oh how cute >____>)Â
So, we went to Pier 39, but since I didn’t wanna pay $9+ for parking, we parked at Ghirardelli Square and walked over to the pier. I wore a skirt, it was so chilly >_< He’d keep asking if I wanted his sweater, but I liked holding on to him. Anyways, we walked thru Ghirardelli to get to Pier 39. We went to the Sock Market, the Lefty Store, and some cartoon store LOL that had Marvel in it. So, we went thru the Sock Market first and he’d joke about what socks I’d wear. “Would you still like me if I wore these?” etc, lol. I couldn’t find the socks that were made for sandals, where they split the big toe from the rest. Anyways, we were going towards the Lefty Store, but the “Marvel” store was on the left, and it caught his attention, but I wanted to go to the Lefty Store first, but he was forcing me physically to go to that store, but I tried to push him towards the Lefty store. It worked, but he let go of my hand and went into the other shop =__= anyways, after, we watched this guy do some show, and he took awhile to “back hug” me. I don’t know why he doesn’t just hold me, instead of putting his hands on my shoulders, lol. So dorky. He asked if I ate yet, and I told him I hadn’t, so we went to this one store to get Clam Chowder. We also got some kind of garlic bread. They were too salty. Total was almost $15, bleh. Then, we walked back to the car after about 2 hours. After, we went to get dessert at Genki’s Crepes and Mini Mart. I told him I wanted the ice cream one, but I wouldn’t finish it since I had trouble choosing what to get. He suggested to share, so we did. This was my fav part :3 So our order came, we shared. I tried to feed him like a big piece so that he’d have a hard time eating LOL and then he did it to me -.- but then later, I fed him again, and then he fed me at the same time, lols. I got so flustered >_< 1. I didn’t expect it, and 2. I’ve never done it before LOL. I guess I can finally check that off my list :P (what list? XP) hmm, then afterwards, it was time to go home. So I dropped him off, but he was like, I won’t be able to hug you or anything today, cause my cousins are here (they might be outside) so I was like :( okay. Once we got off the freeway, we saw their car across the street LOL and was like. hmm maybe we should go park somewhere else, so we went to a diff neighborhood.Â
We stayed in the front seat, and he hugged me, as if he didn’t want to let me go. >_< He told me to come closer, but I was like, I don’t think I can get any close. I’m already on the edge of my seat. So he suggested we go to the back seat, which we did. He held me. Then he kissed me. and kissed me some more. I felt his tongue, but I wasn’t sure how to respond to it. I told him I didn’t know how to kiss. He said, he doesn’t know either, and that we’ll figure it out.. lol. I was like okay >_< and we continued kissing. Kissing was so new to me omg. But, like he said, we’ll figure it out. Lmfao,  I started observing kisses in my kdramas LOL. hmm. afterwards, we were like, its probably time to drop him off, so I did. After we got out the back seat, he was like, come hug me. So I did. He was like, can you kiss me from here? I was like, yeah! He said, try, so I went of my tippy toes to kiss him lol. He was like “cute” and just hugged me for a bit before heading back. No one was outside, so I was able to hug him once more, and we also kissed once more. Then I headed back home (Vi’s house) and knocked out.
Forever my favorite song for us.
This video can only explain so much for how I feel about you. For the first time in forever, there’s somebody who’s actually treating me right. Someone who is so kind and just pure sweet. You make my heart race in a way it’s never raced before and you keep it racing. You make my heart flutter in a way I could have never imagined.. and those butterflies you give me, I don’t think they’ve left since they first fluttered. They came since you first held my hand and made my face flush, my body warm up, my heart race, and I swear there were so many butterflies in me that I couldn’t help but tense up and shut up and just let you hold my hand.Â
& every time I leave you, I can’t stop but think about the empty seat next to me, how you’re not there to hold my hand, when the next time I’m going to see you, and how much I’d miss you until next time we meet again.