After breaking up with my ex months ago, so I went a little crazy and kept on spending lots of money in alcohol, and cigarettes; last of all women... That time I was so fucked up until I can't even recognize my own self. There is once I begin to adapt the new me and didn't want to end that night life, because I thought thats the real me, but then of course I was terribly wrong. A few of my BEASTS and BEAUTIES, is mad because of the new me for example, Marlz, Steffy, Amber, Dawn, Ming, Chris, Moon and Kelvin; they were always by my side especially Kelvin and Marlz. So I controlled myself from drinking by locking myself in the room with full of PC Games and 1 of my favorite junk, SHISHA. Lost a lot of weight and gastric strikes me constantly after shisha or ciggy. I still remember that day, September 1st I woke up early, logged into Facebook to see if there's anyone to talk to and I saw 1 girl, this girl I know her for months well at least I know who she is, she's my friend's target and this guy have been tackling her for a very very long time, I thought for quite sometime "should I talk to her? Wouldn't hurt right? Just friends yeah?" So I chatted her but she didnt reply at first, so I wasn't expecting anything anymore; watched an ANIME episode and when I return to Facebook she replied, some how I feel a little smile in me for no reason, so we chatted for whole day, "wow" I feel comfortable when I talk to her and sharing with her, at first she was like my little sister that listens and understands. After a few weeks I fall in love with her, I kept on blaming myself for falling in love with her why? Well it's because from my friend is still tackling her until there is one day I asked him myself and he told me he's tackling other girls, so I stayed silence and I went for Heather without telling anyone. To be honest Heather is a pretty hard girl to tackle but I kept my chin up and started to be natural and tackled her... In the end I had her on my arms and she also made me understands what's love, caring, beneficial and conditionals. Darling I don't know what to say I hope that you will understand why I'm like this... I maybe different when you first know me, remember I told you that "whatever u need to know about me is who I am right now?" Well that's true, I'm still me; who you love, share, sayang, and a lots more... Darling I love you, and thanks for showing me the light. I love you.
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