* SURVIVOR / GUILT !

𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝.

[outguilt]

# OUTGUILT :  independent,  private,  highly  selective  original character set within apocalypse verses.  written  by  c  (  she  /  her,  25+  ). please  read  my  rules  before  interacting.

A STUDY IN: childhood trauma, growing up too fast, losing your identity, grief, loneliness, survival, running away, witnessing too much death, the claw of it at your heels, and the guilt that follows after leaving everyone behind.

carrd. ask.  memes. pinterest.

affiliated with: @tiesforged @hopethrived

[outguilt]

maybe i'll write today

[outguilt]

okay so listen.......i worked on drafts which i feel like counts

[outguilt]

maybe i'll write today

[outguilt]

desperately hoping to be back here asap <3

[outguilt]

maybe I’ll write soon

[outguilt]

i'm literally desperate to write

[outguilt]

i know all gover.nme.nts suck but my god......................i am sick of this hell

[ohisms]

↪     ᵗʰᵉ 𝑫𝑼𝑺𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑶𝒀𝑩𝑶𝑿 .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted sentence starters .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   no longer updating .  )

why are you here ?

drive .  drive fast .

i think we should make an informed decision .

are you coming or not ?

you’ve been avoiding me .

[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?

this should be your priority .

let me hold you for a minute .

get out of my way .  i won’t tell you again .

that wasn’t supposed to happen .

can you keep a secret ?

i don’t know what i did to deserve you .

you seriously think i could’ve done something like that ?

you’re safe with me .

sorry isn’t good enough .

where is all this coming from ?

who told you about that ?

sorry i’m late ,  i got caught up .

you’re being paranoid .

why are you looking at me like that ?

you’re the single most important thing to me .

all i’m asking is that you hear me out .

whatever they told you ,  it’s a lie .

we shouldn’t stick around here .

hold my hand ,  i don’t want to lose track of you .

[ name ]  …  truth or dare ?

i love you .  nothing’s gonna change that .

can you tell me what happened ?

you can’t come around here anymore .

back off ,  okay ?

what ,  you don’t have time for me anymore ?

you’re asking for too much .

i’m trying to start a new life .

what do you mean ,  you aren’t coming back ?

sometimes i think you must hate me .

why can’t we just talk about this ?

i know i fucked up ,  you can stop rubbing it in .

you’ve got quite a reputation .

i’m not usually like this ,  i’m sorry .

please ,  just let me explain myself .

i love watching you work .

we’re on the same team .

did you ever tell anyone ?

you’ve got a lot of explaining to do .

really funny ,  you’re very mature .

you call THAT a PLAN ?

can we get out of here ?

i thought things would be different .

this is not up for debate !

do whatever you have to do .

karma’s going to get you for that .

it could’ve been a lot worse .

i asked you to leave me out of this .

maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith .

i never want to see you again .

can you see how many fingers i’m holding up ?

i’m gonna be there when you get what’s coming to you .

you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me .

i’ve been waiting all night for this .

i told you not to contact me .

sometimes i really think you have a death wish .

what do you need ?  —  what can i do ?

i would do literally anything to keep you safe .

that was supposed to be a secret .

you haven’t called me that in years .

stop telling me to calm down !

we make a pretty good team .

i have so much i want to say to you .

i’m not going to let anyone hurt you .

can we please not do this right now ? 

wait ,  wait  …  just breathe for a second .

how are you holding up ?

why don’t you stay the night ?  i’ll take the couch .

i don’t need your protection !

you’re not making this easier on yourself .

are you going to let me in ?

i’m supposed to be protecting you .

i will kill you if i have to .

do whatever you have to do .

this is going to hurt ,  i’m sorry .

what happened to you ,  where have you been ?!

there was nothing you could’ve done .

you’re all i need right now .

i don’t believe in love at first sight .

have you been following me ?

i need you to believe me .

what do you remember ?

i’m not a good person .

what the hell’s going on with you ?

you’re being followed .

just when i thought my day couldn’t be any worse .

i’ve been having weird dreams .

so you’ve been lying to me this whole time ?

are you trying to get us killed ?

this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me .

i never asked for your help .

you’re being followed ,  pretend you know me .

why has it started to feel different with you ?

don’t worry ,  i have a plan .

i heard everything .

do you need to sit down ?

i have the right to know what’s going on .

i’ve just gotta catch my breath .

stay out of my business .

what did you think was going to happen ?!

don’t cause a scene .

tell me something about you that i don’t know .

can i buy you a drink ?

what if  …  we played spin the bottle ?

this was never a problem until  [ name ]  came around .

you can’t ask me to make that choice .

are you seeing anyone right now ?

i need you to listen to me ,  we don’t have long .

you’re lying ,  that doesn’t make any sense .

you look  …  stunning .

what are you trying to prove ?

who died and made you the boss of me ?

you can’t just show up here like this .

let me make it up to you .

there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .

can we stay like this ?  just for a little longer .

i don’t need you to fight for me .

so  …  you lied to me ?

you’re the only one that can help me .

i can’t help you if you won’t let me .

i never introduced myself ,  i’m [ name ] .

i expected more from you .

you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?

are you real ?  is this real ?

can i stay with you ?  just for the night .

you’re going to get yourself killed .

why did you help me ?

tell me what i can do to help .

pick a card ,  any card .

i never wanted any of this .

i love you .   you don’t have to say it back .

do you wanna get out of here ?

what the hell are you talking about ?

i should have trusted you .

get your head out of the clouds .

how is any of this MY fault ?!

what aren’t you telling me ?

i can’t help you if you won’t let me .

it’s never just one with you ,  is it ?

you’re not supposed to know about that .

shut your mouth .

i haven’t kissed you yet ,  today .

where is this coming from ?

come over here and make me ,  then .

keep lying to yourself ,  see where it gets you .

i’m not a bad person .

is that what you wanted to hear ?

we can’t be seen together .

i can’t give you what you want .

i need you to leave .

are you drunk ?

i’m here ,  i’m here .  i’m not going anywhere .

you might want to take a seat for this .

have you been listening to anything i’ve said ?

i haven’t heard from you in weeks .

you’re jealous ,  aren’t you ?

who do you think you’re talking to ?

what are you reading ?

you could’ve killed me !

come on ,  we don’t have time for this .

i just need ten minutes of silence .

really ?  that’s all you have to say ?

we could leave ,  you know .  go far away .

you don’t look too good .

i never want to see you again .

why can’t you just leave me alone ?

i thought you died .

you’ll do anything for attention .

give me another chance .

how’s the weather up there ?

all you do is hurt people !

i’m sorry ,  none of this makes sense .

you need to get out of here before anyone sees you .

i told you i didn’t want you around here .

is that supposed to be a threat ?

you’ve changed .

don’t look at me like that .

it’s a beautiful day ,  don’t you think ?

i did what i had to do .

you never know when to stop .

i’ve got to get home ,  it’s getting late .

i have nothing to prove to you .

stop LYING to me  …  all you do is lie .

you don’t have to be nice to everybody .

don’t tell me what to do .

pull your head out of the past .

nobody can help me .  i can’t even help me .

we are not talking about that right now .

are you new around here ?

you have no idea what you’re starting .

i’m gonna get us out of here .

whatever you came here to say ,  i don’t want to hear it .

everyone’s staring at us .

is there anything i can do to help ?

i won’t cause you any more trouble .

– just follow my instructions for once !

do you want to come in ?

i just didn’t know what to do .

you need rest ,  lie down .

i’m not who you think i am .

i don’t know what you want me to say .

you’re not like anyone else i’ve ever met .

i feel like i’m going insane .

stop asking ,  you’re not going to like my answer .

i didn’t want you to see me any differently .

i wish i knew what to say to you .

don’t give me that look ,  you know what i mean .

you should be afraid .

do you still love me ?

i never thought i’d get this far .

the world doesn’t revolve around you .

i need you to give me some space .

i know what you’re doing ,  don’t play games .

you left me to die .

i’m beyond repentance .

when are you going to get it through your head ?

i missed you more than i thought i would .

i’m in love with you .

what do you need from me ?

i’ll kill them ,   just say the word .

[ name ] ,   what are you doing here ?

how can i help ?

you’re pathetic .

i need you to come pick me up .

where have you been ?  it’s eleven o’clock .

i couldn’t live with myself if i let you get hurt .

i can’t just pretend it didn’t happen .

you’re a real piece of work .

do you remember how we first met ?

when did all of this fall apart ?

that’s not what i came here for .

i would do anything for you .

i don’t need you to hold my hand through this .

are you sure this is the right thing to do ?

can’t we try to pretend things are okay ?

what is THAT supposed to mean ?

you’re always late ,  what am i supposed to think ?

there’s nothing you can do to fix this .

you’re far too kind to me .

can we go now ?  like ,  right now ?

i have to do this alone .

where’s your common sense ?

we aren’t supposed to be in here .

can you feel my heartbeat ?

i think i’ve seen you around before .

why are you acting weird ?

i have a really bad feeling .

i hate seeing you like this .

how am i supposed to react to that ?

what do you want most in the world ?

[outguilt]

# OUTGUILT : THE FATES ALREADY FUCKED ME SIDEWAYS ! independent,  private,  highly  selective  original character set within apocalypse verses.  written  by  c  (  she  /  her,  25+  ). please  read  my  rules  before  interacting.

[outguilt]

i'm hoping to get some stuff done but i've also been awake since 6:30 and out of the house since 7 so u know

[outguilt]

i did absolutely nothing but make a promo today and honestly.....love that for me

[outguilt]

does tumblr tell anyone else they have like 10+ asks when it's only one or two

[outguilt]

sorry ???????

[outguilt]

# OUTGUILT : THE FATES ALREADY FUCKED ME SIDEWAYS ! independent,  private,  highly  selective  original character set within apocalypse verses.  written  by  c  (  she  /  her,  25+  ). please  read  my  rules  before  interacting.

[outguilt]

noah thinking he's the sole survivor of his family for over twenty years and then his damn brother shows up.....................hurts man hurts bad @hopethrived

[hopethrived]

@outguilt : 💬 @ wes !

❛ sometimes,  you  have  to  bad  things  to  survive. ’

[outguilt]

THE INVISIBLE BLOOD STAINING HIS HANDS GAVE HIM AWAY ⎯⎯ he knew this better than most. lives had been taken under his watch. he wasn't as good as some people may have thought. but when you were alone and you had to survive . . . one was willing to do just about anything. no matter the lasting scars that overtook every inch of him. sometimes had been far more often for him. and he hated himself for him.

❛ yeah, ❜ his voice is soft; eyes glued to the small fire in front of them. was this meant to be bonding ? he wasn't sure. ❛ that's life these days, i guess, huh ? ❜

[outguilt]

@keepfight1n asked: take this .  it’ll keep you safe .

HE'S KEPT HIMSELF SAFE THIS ENTIRE TIME ⎯⎯ but his fingers curl silently around the fresh weapon anyways. he swallows the stubbornness in his throat before it can mutter out something stupid. they just needed to get out of this situation and everything would be fine. the infected would get left behind and both of them would live and the invisible red stain of blood on his hands wouldn't get any darker. noah was never one to work with someone. but if it managed to benefit them both . . . well, he couldn't be upset about it in the end.

" thanks. " his voice was kept low; eyes glued to the barricaded door ahead of them. the noises on the other side told him they'd be stuck for awhile. unless they found another way out. which . . . he wasn't entirely sure they would. the office they'd shoved their way into as strangers had very little to it. and the windows were high and tiny. enough to let light in but . . . getting a human through them ? he wasn't convinced. " i think we might be stuck. for now. "