Jul 15
actually wrote in a journal
#take that my bio#i was like idk what im gonna write n then i ended up writing a lot#its all in there#points to my head#u know#well not a lot but a lot for me especially in a journal like writing abt myself#text#i could probably write more but part of me doesnt want to idk#i needed a break already lol#i keep thinking of stuff to write while also trying to convince myself i have nothing to write n going back n forth n its more exhausting#than actually writing but im still struggling sm for no reason like#the solution is right there. write there 🤓#i feel like a fuckin idiot sometimes#n i made a psych appt but the only reason i had to wait so long to do it in the first place is bc its a teachig hospital nd#my old psychiatrist like moved on to another specialty to learn bc shes a resident#n they had to wait until more first year residents came to set me up w one of them#n its like yay . a psychiatrist! i get to see their attending for like 5 seconds after each appt to ask questions n my old psych was v smart#n nice n taught me a lot n stuff . but a baby doctorrr i'm just scared of that bc i deal w rhe same thing at the hospital's primary care cen#center . its like a hit or miss thing as the patient u know? im trying not to worry too much but im worrying idk lol#like i need the help now so i feel like the stakes r higher for some reason . not that they r really#im like stressed out ig so i think im kind of just projecting that energy lowkey#omg bro i had like 4 different dreams last night all of them on the nightmare spectrum#like ? chill the fuck out#im going beddy bye right now? not the time#least disturbing out of the 4 was my brother making my mom n i sit on fhe stairs so he could try to make us guess his surprise announcement#?????? n we both couldnt guess n were like tell us the announcement n then he wrote POLYAMORY onthe wall in front of us w his finger in like#sweat or something ?????? im cryng we were like fucking what?? ur poly now and he was like yeah 🤪 n i was like just deeply confused#n it also turned out my mom already knew bc she saw him write it on the wall earlier in the day & then wipe it off n i was like ?? so u just#played along w all of that even fho u knew n she was like well yeah#fucking bonkers dude that was the LEAST unsettling nd stressful dream i had last night
