“The followers of Satan are politicians.”
-- Science, Technology, and Culture Professor
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@outofcontext-profs
“The followers of Satan are politicians.”
-- Science, Technology, and Culture Professor
“He loves Snickers, not in the same way he loves his wife-- no one could ever love a wife as much as a Snickers bar--”
-- Philosophy professor
“I will donate my brain before anyone else; I want a robotic exoskeleton. You know why? Because it’s easier than working out or going low-carb or whatever.”
-- Philosophy professor
“I have face blindness and name amnesia. It’s a terrible condition. I can’t remember my wife. I wake up next to her every morning like ‘oh, you seem nice.’“
-- Media professor
“So he goes jogging, and he’s sad, which is how you should feel when you’re jogging.”
-- Philosophy professor
“Let’s say you chop your hand off -- this is gonna be a gruesome class today.”
-- Philosophy professor
“Anything I didn’t state clearly in the lecture? Anything I stated too clearly and could say in a more confusing way?”
-- Philosophy professor
“Is that-- do you wanna fistfight me there?!?”
-- Acting professor
Student: (starts talking really fast/unintelligibly)
Philosophy Professor: “Breathe, breathe breathe breathe breathe.....Now talk slowly.”
“It was not a damn apple!! No apples. Forget about apples!”
-- Philosophy professor
“Yes, I stole. I told you that I stole it! I just didn’t tell you who I stole it from.”
-- Media professor
“The midterm will require you to remember stuff from a couple weeks ago, so. Sleep in fear.”
-- Media professor
“The ukulele is a very noble instrument.”
-- Philosophy professor
“Despite everything to the contrary, I am still laboring under the illusion that you guys do the reading and watch the lectures.”
-- Philosophy professor
Philosophy professor: “I don’t think anyone knows what Plato actually believed.”
Student: “Like you!”
Prof: “Like me. I also am paranoid.”
Media Professor: “[Student 1], like [student 2], is just smarter than the rest of us.”
Student 1: “I’m not smart. I promise.”
Student: “I used to like jelly, and I no longer like jelly.”
Philosophy professor: “That tells me a lot about you, man.”