Out of Context Professors

All kinds of strange and funny quotes from various professors, along with occasional conversations between teachers & students that were just too good

[deanwinchesterapologist]

>settings

>onions

>my onions

>caramelize my onions

[milanesa42]

[jollybelieverwonderland]

[wisedreamdelusion]

festival of carrot make us all right mind and sight

[outofcontextprofs]

Or the child is abducted from shopping malls. Those are fun.

[outofcontextprofs]

Maybe someone slipped drugs in my coffee this morning.

[outofcontextprofs]

Dahmer only killed 23 people. I could run over more than that in a week.

[outofcontextprofs]

Next time I’m out driving I’m going to run over everyone 7-year-old I see.

[outofcontextprofs]

I’ve always wanted to be one of those mean teachers

[outofcontextprofs]

Before we start class I have a few announcements to make- oh my pen is broken. Yes, that’s one of the announcements. 

[outofcontextprofs]

It’s the scariest picture I’ve ever seen. Sorry Jesus but I can’t even look at it for longer than a minute.

[outofcontextprofs]

She died in an unexpected car crash, and it ended her career.

[outofcontextprofs]

I feed her so much but she just won’t grow.

[outofcontextprofs]

Well they made a statue of him, so he must’ve been important

[outofcontextprofs]

Is that what happens when you get married? You share a bum?

[outofcontextprofs]

I typically use the staircase method for grading- I throw them all down the stairs and whichever one is heaviest lands on the lowest step. 

[outofcontextprofs]

Sin is a sexually transmitted disease

[outofcontextprofs]

Why do you get out of the bed in the morning? Personally, my bed isn’t that comfy...