Outsourced Resume

We run a software company in Vietnam, and we review a lot of resumes. Blame copypaste, or google translate, but sometime the wording is just too cute not to be shared.

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another email

Dear Mr. ███ ! Here is my application for content writer position. Best Your regard, ████. 

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The work is my desire php programming

In section "Skills"

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- To be becomes a good programer. - To be becomes a good manager - To be becomes a activity person with good communicate - To be becomes a person good english language - To be becomes a good man - To be becomes a rich man with high salary

in section "Career objectives"

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Attended many programs of School.

in section "Education"

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Just received that email

From: XXX Sent: Thursday, February 09, 2012 2:57 PM  To: [email protected] Subject: Application_job -- baby_love 

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If you want to know what i did, i can bring to you a project i’m working in COMPANY-X to show my ability in coding PHP and javascipt but i can’t bring project of COMPANY-Y for you because it is secret we earn money by customer’information and the special of our product to get partner and customer. This is professional ethics…

in section "Working Experience"

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SEO (Search Engine Optimization) / proficiency: Nothing / Years: 0.0 CMS (Joomla) / proficiency: Nothing / Years: 0.0 Zend Framework / proficiency: Nothing / Years: 0.0

in section "Skills"

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Read the English translation of specialized documents: English reading materials are relatively.

in section "English langues"

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Janpanish : beginner

in section "Languages"

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First, I want to be an expert in IT ology.

in section "Objects"

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play all games in the permission of the law…!

in section "Hobbies"

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Good reading comprehension majors English files.

in section "Biography of work"

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Applying for a Drupal developer position

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Happy kind, helping everyone Buoyancy, teamwork spirit

in a specific section of a resume : "Character"

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Everyday, I have got 10 hours for my worked .The freetimes, I often go shopping with my friends in the downtown areas. We like to have a look at new articles the latest fashions in shop windows. At weekends, sometime I go to supper market with my family and meet close friend in coffee. Beside, I like chicken and beef-steak but I dislike sea-fish because they don’t agree with me. With sport, I like play football, swim, and walk arroud park because I thinks they’re help my health.

in section "Other achievements & Interests"