I'm Out Of Love

See what's wrong and I bet you'd agree ~ this is my second and only active blog ... overratedlife A 30 year old Dutch girl

[luthienne]

Sara Daniele Rivera, from The Blue Mimes; "January" [ID'd]

[wordfather]

nice things i noticed this week : moss on trees. sunlight peeking through clouds. bird songs. gentle wind on my face. cat sleeping in the grass. fog laying on the landscape. a light drizzle. drawing of a dragon. cute dog. so many trees. mountains in the distance. a smile from a stranger. a heart drawn in the dirt. a worm. a raven. the soft fur of a cat i met. the smell of vanilla. the quiet life of spring. the humanity and nature of it all. love. love. love.

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.

[3000s]

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

[valentina-poem]

[valtsv]

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

[valtsv]

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

[veliseraptor]

have realized that while i am not a fan necessarily of "people meet and immediately fall in love" i am a fan of "people meet and are immediately obsessed with each other." the love can come later but the absolute fixation should be immediate

[inkskinned]

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

[inkskinned]

#i’m saying if existence is a void at least i’m going down screaming.

it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.

at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.

i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.

i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.

i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.

on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.

the act of living, beloved: it’s just decoding how to translate it.

[animentality]

[the-enchanted-little-star]

[goth-queen]

[my-dailydreams]

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, from "Late Bloomer", Instructions for Traveling West

[soracities]

Mia Mingus, from "'Disability Justice' is Simply Another Term for Love", pub. Leavings [ID'd]

[icaseybaybee]

[videomontage]

some people have therapy all i have is jack kerouac’s june 10 1949 letter to allen ginsberg

[videomontage]

abt to smoke some deer meat pack it in my saddlebag and go away over the bluff for real