So…..Fairytopia?

A place to post Barbie nostalgia

[overlydramaticfae]

Doing a review of Storm of Sharks and I just wanna say Vega has unstoppable confidence. Like, this man is so confident in his own rizz he will spit game at an enemy commander while he is CURRENTLY a prisoner of that enemy commander and is also chained to a wall and assumedly hasnt bathed for unthinkable amounts of time. Referring of course to the scene where he's spitting game at Opal and fails miserably. Like I know it didnt work but this man is wild for trying.

[heartofthewretched]

finished book 6

I see what people mean by open ending..holy loose plot points

this feels like it should have just been 2 books instead of one. it feels also like there was meant to be a book after this. hm

some of it was pretty ok but im just not satisfied uurrghh I should rewrite some parts.

[zappycat]

THANK YOU

ive been saying for YEARs there needed to be at least two more books I would have but one between three and four selfishly ofc because I wanted more Frost and Trent being freaks but also it could have set up book 4 (now 5 in the case) bc I hated book four so I would re write most of it. And another book after book 6

[overlydramaticfae]

Im lowkey gonna die mad about Whitley dying. Like, im sorry her death didnt do anything! It didnt motivate Drew to do anything he wasn't already going to do. It didn't spark any action on the part of her allies. It didnt make Lucas act different. Like. Her death literally actually meant nothing from a narrative perspective and it PISSES ME OFF

And before someone is like 'oh it's a book about war and people die for no reason' I am very aware of that fact. But im ALSO aware of the fact that in stories if you kill a character with no plan or purpose and you don't set it up beforehand and your audience just feels cheated out of character potential then thats just bad writing. Full stop. Its a poor decision.

[overlydramaticfae]

I just reread Shadow of the Hawk and got to the part where Red Rufus gets introduced and I just want to say Rufus might be my favorite character. Reasoning to follow:

1. Red Rufus apparently looks like an old seagull that went through a woodchipper. Missing feathers, scrawny, scarred to hell and back, scary fucking face. The Guy of All Time.

2. He immediately wants to kill Drew. Immediately. Doesnt know who this kid is. Doesnt know why hes here. DOES. NOT. CARE. wants to gut him so bad. Hopping up and down begging to kill Drew. Hilarious. Me too bro

3. When compared to Count Carsten and Baron Baum, Rufus sounds like he's their cousin that does meth. This guy snorted a line off the floor and showed up here to throw hands and throw hands exclusively.

[overlydramaticfae]

Today on 'Wereworld is Weirdly Horny Oh god Why is it Like This?'

Drew gets forced to fight Djogo in Omir because King Faisal is being an asshole. Then, after spending several paragraphs of internal monologue talking about how hot Faisal is, Drew then catapults himself onto Faisal's lap and chokes him out.

'Shaking fist at the sky' Currrrrrtiiiiiisssssss! Why are you like this?!

[overlydramaticfae]

[Excerpt from War of the Werelords]

I just wanna say that Curtis Jobling wants to fuck Onyx so bad.

What do you MEAN

'Onyx was beutiful'

What do you MEAN

'as striking a therianthrope as Drew had ever seen'

What do you MEAN

'There wasn't an inch of fat on the felinthropes shimmering, stalking body'

I dont think Drew wants to fuck Onyx but you CANNOT TELL ME that this author doesnt find his own character attractive.

CURTIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IM INTRUDING ON SOMETHING

[overlydramaticfae]

WHY oh WHY

Is like the opening move for the big battle between Onyx and Drew.

Them CLAMPING their MOUTHS on each other and like doing a weird teeth kiss.

AM I IMAGINING THIS????!!!! IM NOT RIGHT?

Why is every scene that includes Onyx weirdly sexually charged

I swear Im not making this up I dont ship this but the actual Canon scene could be shifted into a dark romance sex scene with absolutely bare minimum changes. Why IS IT LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSS

[overlydramaticfae]

[Excerpt from War of the Werelords]

I just wanna say that Curtis Jobling wants to fuck Onyx so bad.

What do you MEAN

'Onyx was beutiful'

What do you MEAN

'as striking a therianthrope as Drew had ever seen'

What do you MEAN

'There wasn't an inch of fat on the felinthropes shimmering, stalking body'

I dont think Drew wants to fuck Onyx but you CANNOT TELL ME that this author doesnt find his own character attractive.

CURTIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IM INTRUDING ON SOMETHING

[overlydramaticfae]

Spoilers for War of Werelords not thag anyone cares.

But I am PISSED that Milo died and Casper got like, shunted off screen at the end.

Because IDK I just think they'd be friends y'know? Theyre both semi-feral werelord types that just wanna fight bad guys and have adventures.

They're pretty close in age and they both spent their childhood years in crazy political circumstances and are both badass as a result.

I just think we missed out on an unstoppable potential duo. Whatever I guess

[overlydramaticfae]

Ok I just wanna say that I have some confusion about how Drew and Whitley end up getting together in War of the Werelords because what?

Like Drew, Whitley and Gretchen are like catching up after having their completely separate arcs. Then Whitley storms off because Drew is being nice to Gretchen so Drew chases after her.

And the exchange is like.....

Drew: 'kisses Whitley'

Whitley: Shouldn't you be with Gretchen? How would this even work?

Drew: we'll figure it out

Me: 'Squints' Whitley is a noblewoman, is a battlefield commander in the war, is popular and well loved by people, is the daughter of a duke which is traditionally the tier of society you'd pull suitors for the royal family from

Conversely, Gretchen is the daughter of an Earl (lower title) and her family and land are basically exterminated. Which means ,tragically, she can provide basically no political support to Drew.

Whereas Whitley's city is still standing and happens to be one of the biggest strongholds for Drew's allies and her father is one of Drew's biggest supporters.

So WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'how will this work'??!!?!?!

You're literally the most reasonable choice for him?

And then the book ends how it ends so I have to go to bed mad I guess. Whatever.

[overlydramaticfae]

Be me watching season 2 of Wolf King on Netflix getting jumpscared by the appearance of Bojack Horseman but with anatomically accurate horse legs

[overlydramaticfae]

The character I related to instantly in Season 2 of Wolf King

Baron Ewan

-tired constantly

-functionally useless

- does 1 (one) illusion and is immediately done working for the day

- has a broken ass hypnosis power that he does not use in combat even though it would be super useful

-would sell Drew for a dollar

-immediately gets bossed around by Gretchen

That's me dawg, no cap

[overlydramaticfae]

A truly enjoyable thing about Wolf King is that they will have a set piece that is pretty cool but is unclear why the characters would do any of it. Like......

Whitley: I will stage a rescue attempt to get Drew out of Brackenholme that somehow ropes both Hector and Gretchen into it and also we're gonna get immediately caught requiring Drew to cut the mooring cables on the gondola, nearly killing himself, the future queen, and a royal magister

Mikkel: I will stage a rescue attempt that will result in a carriage (and the person Im trying to rescue) hurtling down a hill at Mach 8

Leopold: I will stage a meeting that is obviously a trap but I will kill only one person and dig my little cat toes into the wood of my own drawbridge for no reason

Drew: I will accept a challenge to race a horse lord that is basically a glorified dick measuring contest. Horses, also, being known for both being very fast and having big dicks. I will not question it when I unaccountably win this contest. Also, Im on a mission to rescue a kidnapped person but I lowkey forgot lol.

Vankaskan: I will torture someone with bungee jumping zombies. No one will remark on how weird and sexual the setup of this trap is. I AM going to lounge on a couch and heckle the person in the death trap in a weirdly sultry act. Yes. The perfect plan.

[overlydramaticfae]

Ok I have a lot of beefs with Wolf King season 2. But one thing I CAN'T GET OVER is how Leopold set up that meeting with the Wolf's Council. The method by which he organizes this meeting? Shooting an arrow at Bergan's head.

What I want to know is why that wasn't just an assassination? Like, that arrow almost got him in the head? Idk to me its like

Duke bergan: check out this message! It was attached to an arrow

Me: where did the arrow come from?

Bergan: it came through that window. Right by my head.

Me: and you're...... still going to stand next to that window?

Bergan: oh yeah. Totally!

Me:................ you deserve to lose this war

[overlydramaticfae]

A perhaps unintentional detail in the Wereworld books is that Catlords have a thing where they simp for women that don't fucking like them.

Exhibit A:

Leopold

- Is an actual loserlord

- Had to force a woman to marry him after killing her former husband and her children. Does not seem to think this should stop her from liking him

- had to use magic to make her like him

-the second she's not under a spell she tells him to stuff it

- (book exclusive) when he's about to decapitate Drew he takes a minute out of his very busy day to tell this ACTUAL 16 year old that he thinks his queen is hot and awesome. Also after he kills Drew he's gonna fuck his mom. Loser behavior. Why you gotta bully a child to feel valid. Weird asshole chump.

Exhibit B

Lucas

-loser 2.0

- at no point does Gretchen like him

-is obsessed with her for YEARS

- keeps trying to get with her up to the last day of his life

-doesnt seem to understand that killing her people and screwing up her country might make her not like him

- literally loses control of his armies and abandons his campaign against Icegarden literally just to find Gretchen

-she jumps into a river to die instead of talking to him

-she stabs him. Honestly, Queen shit

CASE IN POINT

Onyx (special bonus round)

- every time Curtis Jobling describes this man he LAVISHES him with physical description

- is the hottest sexiest man to breathe in this universe

- still can't get a date unmarried at 30 something or older IDK

- is hot for Taboo. She literally hates his ass

-literally murders Taboo's boyfriend and frames her for murder over it

-petty, bitter little bitch

- absolutely topples the Catlord alliance because he can't make a girl like him even a little bit

So anyway yeah. We're at a shockingly high percentage of Catlords that are hot for women that don't fucking like them. Boohoo what a suprise this is

[overlydramaticfae]

Just finished War of the Werelords and

............

WHAT?!!??!??!?!!

THATS how it ends?!

THATS HOW IT ENDS?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oooooooh im so mad. Oh oh oh oh Im so mad I need to hit something oh im so mad

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh imma go apeshit

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

wolf king season 2 episodes 4-5 are SO fucking funny. there’s a war and an active siege going on against the Number One Villain In The History Of Ever in lyssia but sure why not it’s a good idea to go hang out with him when he pretends he’s going to surrender. and then eeeeeveryone is surprised when he kills a guy and calls for backup. meanwhile hector is experiencing the torture nexus.

[overlydramaticfae]

The part that really killed me in this whole scene was Leopold just kinda......hanging out on the drawbridge and letting them winch it up while hes actively standing on it like. How did he pitch that as an idea to his guards?

Leopold: Ok me and vanmorten are gonna stand at the edge of the drawbridge

Random guard: ok

Leopold: We're gonna taunt them a bit then I'll give the signal and your archers will jump out and point your weapons at them

Random guard: Sure

LEOPOLD: Youre not gonna shoot anyone until after one of them charges me

Random guard: Ok?

Leopold: Also youre just gonna shoot arrows in between them and the one I killed, youre not gonna shoot to kill at all. I know this is your whole job and youre trained to do this but I need to reiterate youre NOT gonna shoot anyone

Lion guard: ok, are you gonna just run back into the palace if they try to attack you as a group?

Leo: no youre gonna pull up the drawbridge

..........

Random guard: Just to be clear, youre STANDING on the drawbridge at this point

Leo: yeah im gonna keep taunting them while you pull up the drawbridge with me on it

Lion guard:.........

Are you gonna.....get off the drawbridge before it gets vertical and you fall off?

Leo: naw, im just gonna hook my claws in and ride that bitch all the way up

Lion guard: ohkay boss

Lion guard: also to be clear, were gonna set up what is ostensibly an ambush with a very clear kill box. We're going to expect the enemy to just walk in and stand still while they're in the kill box and were not gonna kill them?

Leo: you got it in one lion guard. Give this man a raise!

[overlydramaticfae]

I am now convinced that in my previous life I was like, a heroic dog that saved a bunch of children from an avalanche. And the deities in the primordial soup were like 'oh for your heroism you get to be a human!' Like that's some kind of prize and they forced me into a human body like a cat going into a cat carrier.

I was literally just Balto in my last life and the gods think its a great reward to make heroic animals into people

I WANT

To be pulling a SLED

With all my husky friends right now!

But what do I get? Taxes

This is bullshit.

[sahlarei]

Elina from Fairytopia