The Overused Typewriter

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[danielle-imperfections]

The person behind Twitter handle iSmashFizzle tweets: “Having anxiety is not my fault, I know that, but it often makes me feel like I will never be the kind of person I want to be.”  iSmashFizzle better known as Ashley C Ford is a writer and the words she wrote today reminded me of how much I wish my mental health was a lot more stable. Stable enough for me to do the things I want to do and stop the extensive amount of overthinking. Say the words I wish to say as oppose to not saying anything or every thought coming out in a slur, hoping that the person listening will understand. Not having to force myself to be strong in times when everything around me is a blur as I try to stifle the hyperventilation escalating inside my body. My battle with anxiety now is a tad bit easier than before. Now & again I suffer a few minor panic attacks during public but people are too caught up in their conversations to notice what’s happening around them. I find that a good thing because in situations like these, the last thing I want is for me to be noticed.

http://between-raindrops.blogspot.com/ (via danielle-imperfections)

[a-hagar]

I whisper my secrets, in the hopes the wind  will carry my words  to your gentle ears. So you know, I still think about you after we parted.

silent prayer // A.H.  (via tender-souls)

[danielle-imperfections]

Every inch of my being has been ripped to shreds these past couple of days. & I can’t help but think there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. One of the brightest I’ve ever seen. I can’t fathom how this much misery could lead me along a road of emptiness.

http://between-raindrops.blogspot.com (via danielle-imperfections)

[thequotejournals]

It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me…to throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling…

Aldous Huxley, Island (via wordsnquotes)

[danielle-imperfections]

There are things we can’t control & there are things we can. We can’t choose whether or not the rain falls heavily on a day we’d preferred it to be sunny. We however can take along an umbrella, just in case. Thus allowing our day of unexpected showers to suck a bit less. We can’t control the way others treat us but we can become conscious of a pattern & realize those persons are better off on the outside of our lives. I’ve settled with an out-dated version of myself. I’ve desired for so long that perfectly-imperfect life. Not having that now or not being able to envision that in the near future throws me off balance.The vacancies & voids in my life are hampering my emotions & movement. I’m doing nothing to barricade those interferences. I think they are some phases we need to go through alone but they are some that requires other people. But I feel as though venting my thoughts & feelings about certain situations within a conversation will leave me feeling empty. I don’t where I go from here but I do know where I want to be.

Danielle L. Stewart http://between-raindrops.blogspot.com/ (via danielle-imperfections)

[jtknous-deactivated20160805]

If you’re reading this, I hope to see you one day down the road from now and be able to fall in love with you all over again. I hope one day we will be right for eachother, I hope one day that all those amazing plans we spent months making work out. I really do, cause at the end of every day, you’re the one I think about, the one I’m missing, the one I wish I was cuddled up to. Don’t ever forget that please. Don’t forget that I will always love you and who you are, no matter if we are screaming at each other or fighting about things that shouldn’t matter. You will always have a special place in my heart, forever

[danielle-imperfections]

Just keep swimming..

Dear Reader, You cannot allow life to hit you down all the time. Stumble then continue walking. The easiest thing to do is to dwell in your current situation but if you try hard enough, you can get over these mini obstacles. Sometimes these things don’t have to overcome you. You may receive the help of a friend, Other times you’re on your own. Listen to Dory & just keep on swimming, Also, Learn to make sacrifices, Think smartly. & do you. - Danielle

http://between-raindrops.blogspot.com/

[wandering-mindx]

You’re locked in a room with every woman you have ever loved, tell me, am I the one you’d run to?

If I was locked in a room with everyone I’ve ever loved there would only be you. (via wandering-mindx)

[all-things-wrong-blog]

“Sometimes I sit and think of who I am and what kind of person I try to become. Sometimes my actions are justified and sometimes not, sometimes I hurt myself and sometimes I hurt the emotions of those who love me, sometimes I hate myself and sometimes I love myself. I don’t honestly know which of any of those is better or worse. The one thing I do know is that this is what life is made up of. Decisions and actions that define us. I’m human and I make mistakes.”

-just human

[ashleymacleanblog]

Does anyone else ever wonder how much you may subconsciously exist in other people’s lives? I always wonder if people think of me when a certain song comes on, or if my face is looked for in a crowded room. I wonder how many stories and late night conversations my name has been a part of. I wonder if I even still exist in the minds of people that I don’t speak to anymore. I wonder how many times a day I pass through someone’s mind.

is this just me or? (via confessing-emotions)

[lethallydia23]

Secret.

Some days it is sweet to be your sweetest secret, but sometimes I want to be the public object of your affection— I want Facebook photographs and arms around my waist and the freedom to visit you when someone else is in sight. I want you to want to show me off, to be so proud of the gem you’ve found that you can’t help but hold it up to the light.

I know that you love me in private. And you are gentle, considerate, near perfect, but when you hide me, ask to deny our involvement for the upkeep of your image, it sounds as if I am a blemish, an unwanted addition to your social circle. I wonder how you could dare call me beautiful but not think it enough to tell your friends that I exist,

“Our situation is different,” you say, “Complicated,” and this is true, but surely no more complicated than asking me to wait around stairwell corners, than sneaking across the floor in your bedroom so no one else can hear, than only inviting me over when the building is empty so that a single soul couldn’t catch us caring about each other.

I love you. I love you so much, but I love you in a way that is bold, and brave, and all of this—the dodged questions, the vague answers, the tarp atop our precious memories—is pure cowardice. I feel quieted, damped, restricted in a sense, like I can’t be who I am with you if “who I am” includes a crowd.

And most days, I don’t even notice it. It doesn’t bother me one bit, because I like having you all to myself, this inside joke between the Universe and me, I like smiling knowingly at your name when it comes up in conversation, eavesdropping about what the other girls think of you,

but I hate that I can’t claim you. That clever social media posts are out of my domain, that you may still be the target someone else is shooting for because no one knows you’re mine. You might call this immature, say that love only matters to the people who experience it, but every wedding has a witness. Shame, on the other hand, is soft. Alone. Secret.

[danielle-imperfections]

Levitate It’s okay to feel out of place, life does that occasionally. Out of tune. Misfit. The triangles in the midst of all the percussions. Nothing is going right. The yellow among the shades of blues. Your expectations; a theory. Flying in between the herd. Disappointment, the inevitable Melted ice-cream. Pizza without the crust. People, mere objects. Happiness is a mile away. Embrace the numb. Remember this is only temporary, One day you’ll levitate.

Danielle L. Stewart http://between-raindrops.blogspot.com/ (via danielle-imperfections)

[danielle-imperfections]

“The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance.” - Shannon L. Alder

[wnq-writers]

I want to do everything but I also want to pause my existence. The discord between my desire to try and my desire to give up perpetually shakes the foundation upon which my life awkwardly tries to balance itself.

huesofbeing  (via wordsnquotes)

[wordsnquotes]

I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.

Shinji Moon, The Anatomy of Being (via wordsnquotes)

[danielle-imperfections]

[danielle-imperfections]

Dirt.

Gently whisper sweet words in my ear

& I’ll believe you.

No hesitation.

I will hold unto your words 

with a tight grip

& they’ll travel to my heart.

I will dance with rose petals & the butterflies in the garden.

I will sing sweet melodies.

I will laugh & I will smile at the world

& ask “How can I be any happier?”

But sooner or later

I’ll realize it was poison.

Flowing through my bloodstream 

With the intent for my heart to be burnt to ashes.

& my body & my soul,

Will never be the same again.

-Danielle L. Stewart

http://she-lost-her-scars.blogspot.com/