Overwatch: Which Heroes Would Help An Old Lady Across the Street?
Thought I’d try something fun. Let me know if you agree/disagree with any of these!
The scenario is that our random old lady sees the particular Overwatch hero walking past and verbally asks them to help her cross the street.
D.Va - Wouldn’t help. She’d be too hopped up on caffeine to slow down.
Reinhardt - He would help, and would be a perfect gentleman, offering his arm, complimenting the old lady’s outfit. He’d regale her with an overly long war story, and she’d be stuck politely waiting on the opposite side until he finally finished.
Roadhog - Wouldn’t help. He’d just rob her before she even noticed her purse was missing.
Winston - Would help. Our favorite gorilla would probably overcomplicate things, throwing down his barrier projector as they crossed and all that, but he’d blush and scratch the back of his head after she thanked him.
Zarya - Would help, but wouldn’t say a word to the old lady. She’d just get the job done.
Bastion - It’s a 50/50 chance, depending on his mood.
Doomfist - He would push the old lady into the street, telling her only the fit are worthy to survive. If she managed to make it across alive, he would try to recruit her into Talon.
Genji - He would help. He would then try to share pamphlets outlining the teachings of his lord and savior Zenyatta. The old lady would say she already belongs to a church, but Genji would be remarkably persistent.
Hanzo - Would stare at her, sniff disdainfully, and walk away without a word.
Junkrat - Would gladly and exuberantly help, but would somehow bungle things and blow the old lady up.
Mei - Would help, and would apologize the entire time.
Pharah - Would help. The old lady would remind Pharah of her “late” mother, and she would walk away with a hint of sadness.
Reaper - Would threaten the old lady with her life. The old lady would insist he help her anyway. Reaper would find himself helping her across the street without really knowing how he got there in the first place.
Soldier: 76 - Would agree, but would grumble about it the entire way across.
Sombra - Would hack the street light so the walk signal would remain permanently on, then go on her way.
Symmetra - Would build a hard light bridge over the road, and would move on without ever looking up or even acknowledging the old lady.
Torbjorn - Would help, but would also be a huge, huge grump about it ... at least until his wife gave him a disapproving look. Then he’d be polite as a fiddle.
Tracer - Would agree to help her, and then blink back and forth between the old lady and the other side of the road, jabbering on a mile a minute.
Widowmaker - Would straight up laugh in the old lady’s face before grappling away.
Ana - Would tell the old lady to do it herself, and would then walk across the street herself a couple times just to rub it in.
Brigitte - She’d just follow along behind Reinhardt as he helped the old lady across, laughing at his war story.
Lucio - Would help, but would also Amp Up his speed boost to hurry her across.
Mercy - Would help, and would probably follow the old lady through the rest of the city in case she had any more streets to cross.
Moira - Would not help, but would be so polite in refusing, the old lady would be confused when the geneticist walked away.
Zenyatta - Would help, and would tell the old lady to embrace tranquility after they crossed. She would be very confused.