ᵃ 𝙝̳𝙖̳𝙥̳𝙥̳𝙮̳ 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔬𝔫. @ownwon - Tumblr Blog

✺ ░ i can only see your face when i close my eyes. — ownwon, kim junhee from hwang donghyuk's squid game. an analysis on being an undesirable, the loss of identity & autonomy, & trying to grasp happiness in spite of it all.

backstory. rules under cut.

family. @bitwon, @388s + blogroll, @th3damnd.

#mae. 22. she/her.#DNI.

peeks in

#PARENTHETICAL.#these semesters unforch have been kicking my ass but i want to #continue aib. and continue writing junhee #I Crave The Write

guess who's finally getting into aib...

#PARENTHETICAL.#coming for all of you.

damn. adhd sure has hands!

#PARENTHETICAL.#the reason why i've been super mia lately!!! i've been itching to get a proper diagnosis so i can get accomodations...#but diagnosis is so scary :')#anyway. luv you all and i hope you're all doing well ♥#i've been having so much fun thinking about junhee and plotting with people! dms are always open

reqeuims-deactivated20251028

you will not be you. and i may not be i. sam jang, by kylie + seth jang, by 5

#PR.#OH THIS IS SO GORGEOUS HELLOOOO

388sarc

though he'd never retract it like a desire best kept repressed, the offer of help is beyond his lips before dae-ho can so much as comprehend the implications. pregnant and vulnerable — come, come impose upon the space of a complete stranger, upon the space of a man that you do not know and cannot possibly foresee the intentions of. but there is a woman in need, a woman with a story in her wake that he is not privy to. the tale that follows behind her is irrelevant: what plays in his head now as repeated dissonance are hae-yeon's sacchiferous lectures. being pregnant and homeless can completely strip a person of agency ( where decisions get made about you rather than with you; always the inconvenience to be hidden away from public eye ), so it's important to give back every scrap of control the world has stripped from her. the importance of knocking when going anywhere near her room, and specifically offering help so she still has the chance to exercise her autonomy. it's her home too, at least for now.

door to his apartment shuts behind jun-hee with a soft click, and dae-ho anxiously rubs non-existent sweat beading at his palms against abraded fabric of his sweats. ❛❛ hey, listen, you're welcome here for as long as you need. speaking of, ah, the spare room's all yours. it's nothing fancy, but we can — i'm happy to help you pick out some decorations to make it feel more like your space, if you want. i keep it simple 'cause it's usually just my weight room. ❜❜ it is a safe, warm place to sleep with a comfortable bed and a roof atop her head, so perhaps things are not as bad as they seem. gaze lingers at jun-hee's face, tentatively searching her for potential discomfort. ❛❛ are you hungry at all ? i was about to make food; why don't you set your stuff down and let me show off your new kitchen ? i know a really good recipe for goguma mattang, so... ❜❜

but that's not all: one hand digs into his pants pocket, reaches around with focus tightly gripping his countenance. aha ! resting in the center of the palm outstretched towards jun-hee is a gunmetal grey plastic card. ❛❛ this is your keycard, by the way. it should let you into the apartment no problem, but if it ever gives you a hard time, the door code's 0610. shit, do you want me to write that down for you ? ❜❜

ownwon

　　' as long as you need, ' he says, expecting neither compensation nor favors. this scenario is as ideal as it is surreal, and junhee finds herself hesitating at such open altruism.

she loathes the idea of being put in a situation where she does nothing but take— even the idea of picking decorations, at the moment, further imposing on his personal space, is absurd to think about.

she cannot survive on her own by the generosity of strangers; she will not make a smaller, more vulnerable soul dependent on their mercy, either. were myunggi's words not a cautionary tale? saccharine convincements of cryptoinvestment— his promises of a future where she would never want for anything again. nights spent where they would fantasize about their shared home: private pools, gorgeous nightviews, personal chefs, branded clothing. but she knows better now— a happiness merely given is not as rewarding as something forged with your own two hands.

she receives the keycard with both hands. 0610, 0610, 0610. she nods, mouthing the syllables as she commits it to memory, before she slides it into the pocket of her jacket. she can do that much, at least. to depend on daeho for even that— it's humiliating.

" i'll pay you back, " she bursts out, instead of replying to him proper. " once i find another job. i promise. however much it costs. "

with her feelings out in the open, the discomfort in her stature fades. she is thankful for the roof over her head, the safety it grants her, and the generosity he shows her. if she's able to do something in turn— this act of kindness would no longer be marred by perceived pity.

" ...i like goguma mattang. " she looks around, searching for an appropriate place to set her bags down. " should i place my things in— my room? "

#DELINEATION.#NON-GAMES.#388s

hollowprompts

` * 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 : 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴. 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 (+ 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦) 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦.

𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 -

01. avoids eye contact or looking at the floor. 02. wringing hands together in silence. 03. fidgeting with the hem of their shirt, unable to stay still. 04. looking at receiver in long silence before looking away. 05. silently leaves a folded note on the table in front of the other. 06. touches the others arm but pulls back out of guilt.

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 -

01. slams fist onto a table without saying a word. 02. exhaling sharply through their nose and clenching their jaw. 03. throws an object across the room. 04. crossing their arms tightly, digging fingers into their own skin. 05. pacing the room with heavy steps. 06. glares at the other with a clenched fist.

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 -

01. gently pushing stray hair behind the others ear. 02. resting their forehead against the others. 03. cups the others face with both hands. 04. pressing a kiss to the others forehead in silence. 05. lingering touches against the others face. 06. wraps their arms around the other from behind and rests their head on the others shoulder.

𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 -

01. wiping their eyes before someone can notice. 02. pressing their face into a pillow to muffle sobs. 03. pulls the other into a desperate hug and wont let go. 04. silently reaching for the others hand, needing comfort. 05. walks into the room with red-rimmed eyes and no words.

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 -

01. spins the other around without warning in a hug. 02. links arms with the other and tugs them along happily. 03. provides the other with a handmade gift. 04. tackles the other in a sudden and joyful hug. 05. kisses the others cheek unexpectedly and grins.

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 -

01. backing away slowly and looking for exits. 02. hiding behind the other and peeking around. 03. flinches at sudden movement from the other. 04. presses their back against the wall with eyes darting around the room. 05. jumps at a noise and instinctively grabs the others hand.

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

01. tucks a blanket gently around the other person's shoulders. 02. applies a bandage with slow and deliberate care. 03. brings them food and water and watches to ensure they eat. 04. runs fingers through their hair in efforts to soothe. 05. rubs soothing circles on the others back while they cry. 06. stays silently by the others side in support without saying a word.

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠

01. raises a hand but hesitates. 02. grips the others arm a bit too tightly. 03. pushes the other away with more force than necessary. 04. turns their back on the other to begin walking away without a word. 05. rips a shared photo in half without a word. 06. steps in closely with cold and narrowed eyes.

#GAIETIES.

eviefyres

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2

over a year ago, i made this meme & since then, it’s blown up. so, over a year later — i thought i would make a new one. so here it is, after several requests & a pile of brains, THE PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2 send me a ✿ and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship / [ your muse ] is the good influence / [ your muse ] is the bad influence / [ my muse ] is the good influence / [ my muse ] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other

ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts / [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush / [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [ from your muses side ] / unrequited [ from my muses side ] / unrequited [ from both sides ] / skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ] / soulmates [ literal ] / awkward / turning toxic / toxic love / cheating [ on your muse ] / cheating [ with your muse ] / other

FAMILIAL. siblings [ half ] / siblings [ step ] / [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure / [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse / [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours / [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing / [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing / other

ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other

#GAIETIES.#and for my more plotting inclined mutuals...

need to do my chud revision for my statistics test this sunday... but hopefully i'll get to write soon!

#PARENTHETICAL.#hello my mutuals it's so nice to see you all :D

✺ ░ backstory.

childhood.　　junhee was orphaned at a young age, with no real memory of her immediate family. but she doesn't care enough to learn about them. the people closest to her family, as far as she knows, are the caretakers and fellow children in the orphanage she was raised in, even if the caretakers change and children come in and out. the orphanage, full of noise and life and love, spurs on her aspirations for a happy fulfilling life.

adolescence.　　junhee was a kind and exuberant child, often praised for her conscientiousness and work ethic. she helped with chores around the orphanage, played with the younger girls, and lent a hand to them as she grew older. her grades are average, but school was more for self-actualisation than anything else, to her. school taught her about trends — of the importance of looking after oneself, of the joy that can be found in looking and feeling good. school encourages her to experiment with her appearance — and as she grows more and more assured of her identity, which helps her come out of her shell more. she passes this knowledge onto the younger girls, and she learns that not only does she want to be happy, she also wants to help others be happy.

as she reaches the cusp of adulthood, the orphanage helps her with career development, sending her to vocational educational institutes. she enrols into beauty courses, working hard to achieve her hairstylist's certification. but job hunting is hard for a girl like her, and in her free time she begins to wonder if full-time employment would truly make her happy.

in the end, she becomes a part-time hairstylist. it gives her enough time to live her life, money to live comfortably on her own, and fulfilling her dreams of beautifying others. she's happy.

adulthood.　　she starts social media and gains a decent following as a semi-niche instagram celebrity, posting outfits she puts together for cheap. she meets myunggi through the internet... and the rest is history. they start dating.

one day, he introduces her to dalmatian — persuades her to invest in it. she gets caught up in fantasies about becoming rich overnight, of living comfortably with who she assumes would be her lifelong soulmate.

but the investments fall through — and not long after, junhee finds out she's pregnant. realising that she's responsible not just for herself but for a small, vulnerable person growing inside of her, she panics. she isn't earning enough money. she can't take care of this baby inside of her. she confides in myunggi, who tells her to abort it, reiterates that she can't afford to take care of a child. she schedules an abortion — but then myunggi goes silent. she tries to call him, again and again and again. he doesn't pick up. she begins to lose hope that he ever will.

and junhee thinks about it more.

ultimately, she decides to keep the baby, still eager to achieve her dreams of being happy. isn't it the picture-perfect image of joy? having a family of her own, a home full of love and noise and life like the orphanage? (with myunggi gone, she's alone. but with the baby, she might not be.) so she decides to try her best. she cancels her appointment, starts working harder so that she can save up enough money. but reality is cruel to solitary women, and she starts showing. her job finds out. they let her go.

things begin to spiral. job hunting becomes impossible for her, especially for a full-time job — no one's looking for someone with her skillset, nor are they looking for someone like her. (pregnant without a husband by her side, unable to do manual labour, unable to attract sales.) she manages to get another part-time job as a clothing store retailer, but it's still not enough for both herself and the baby.

she meets the recruiter in a train station on the way to a gynaecologist appointment, and wins every round of ddakji he plays with her. he gives her a card.

at the waiting room, she thinks about it more.

#EXEGESIS.