“what’s your dream job” im so glad you asked. picture this. i am the lone employee of a strange and mysterious tchotchke/bookshop in the middle of nowhere, full of fun and interesting things that i am allowed to take for the low low price of free of charge. i get one, exceedingly interesting, customer per hour. i work no more than twenty hours a week and am salaried 3 million dollars
qifrey: huh oru seems really bothered by this..i wonder if something like that happened to him
oru: *recalling all 80 million times someone in the assembly called him gay for switching tassels with qifrey and he couldnt even defend himself bc a) true b) he didnt even know why they switched tassels*
olruggio has had an utter lack of control over the situation since the first time he learned the truth; his memory is wiped every time it is revealed to him, so he's just left with the pervasive feeling that something is very wrong with his partner (in pain). the shifting landscape and the skewed frames reflect that internal instability
he doesn't have the relevant memories to reach back for. qifrey can cling to the lies, to his guilt, in order to survive, but olly is perpetually lost in the unknowing. the worst part is that the tilted frames of his reality are a very deliberate choice he made all those years ago to save his friend—he just can't remember it
qifrey has his memories intact, so he's able to structure his life around the truth of his existence. he carries it with him; all the grief and resentment, every moment spent in pain and unease. he has no choice but to stabilize himself in liminality. he's not allowed to settle, and so the frames are neatly laid out, one over the other; a perfect prison
his collected expression in the most recent frame makes it seem like he is resigned to his fate, but i don't believe he would give up that easily, not when he has so much to live for (he stated so himself)! he's just tired. they both are
Qifrey is living a tragic Romantic romance/horror. He thinks he’s dragging a star—not just any star, mind you, but “the sky’s kindest, most radiant star”, in fact—down from the heavens to rot beneath his boughs and roots alongside him. The only companion he’s ever held dearer is his grief, or perhaps his rage. He thinks he’s destined only to drown in the cold, waterlogged grave they never truly did dig him fully out of, and that he’ll cling to micro-doses of Olruggio of The Torch’s warmth until he extinguishes the very last vestiges of his fire, his potential, his destinies, too.
Olruggio is living in a slice-of-life cooking show and worries his Very Good Friend (who surely must know Olruggio holds the biggest torch ever made for by now, right?), who takes such good care of Olruggio and their 4 children, is Not Doing So Well™️ again
I made a jokey post about how Qifrey keeps collecting abused apprentices and they keep healing, which is paradoxically bad for him. But all jokes aside, I think it demonstrates how Witch Hat Atelier presents hope as a theme.
The series makes no secret about presenting itself as about "hope and despair". But the two sides of that coin are absolutely *not* balanced. Ininia, when confronted by Coco, says she never expected the silverwood in Custas to sprout. Why would it? He grew up poor and alone, he got seriously injured and lost the use of his legs, he can't get consistent mobility aids, the witches he considered his friends lied to him, his father died, and kept dying in front of him, over and over, every day. Custas has every reason to be miserable forever! And yet, all it took was a brief moment in Dagda's arms for him to feel safe.
(As a note, Ininia seems to treat this as a weakness in Custas. It makes me wonder if her character arc will be exploring the kind of person who, after trauma, over-identifies with their pain to the point of rejecting any hope for growth or recovery as pointless and naive. But that's something for another day).
We can see this in other characters as well. Coco has an extremely traumatic first interaction with magic. And yet, it doesn't stop her from feeling wonder and joy at even the simplest, most mundane spells. Richeh says she hates adults who treat kids as things rather than people- which means she does feel treated like a person at the atelier. We can (and should) criticize the Knights Moralis as a police system. But for Luluci, they turned an experience of being groomed and abused into an experience of being believed, taken seriously, and protected.
This theme is also Qifrey's entire arc and character struggle. The fact that the Brimhat's initial experiment involved wiping him repeatedly is technically evidence that, even back then, he kept finding moments of peace. One hug from Olruggio was enough to help when he was at the point of drowning himself. He has any number of things to keep him stressed (his lost memories, his crimes, his guilt over Olruggio and others, his students, trying to protect other/future victims) and it keeps not being enough. He is actively trying to hold on to bitterness and vengeance as motivators, and they keep slipping away like sand, because despite everything, he's built a good life.
With Hat Atelier does not say that hope or healing is easy. I would hesitate to suggest it even says these things are inevitable. But it does assert that hope, healing, peace and growth are both powerful and persistent. Like weeds, they will grow through the smallest possible crack. Despair looks big and complicated and all-encompassing and nevertheless can be pushed back by the smallest, simplest, weakest token of kindness. It's not even a close fight.
I have a sinking feeling about Qifrey and where his story is headed.
MASSIVE spoilers and maybe slightly long-winded theorizing below the cut.
I believe quite certainly that Qifrey intends to reveal the complete truth to Olruggio very soon, and that while he seems to be accepting his fate, he is trying to maintain as much control over the terms of his inevitable end as possible.
Following the events of Chapter 88, after he reveals his nature as a Silverwood host to Coco, he asks to postpone his complete confession, wishing to be able to reveal the truth elsewhere, in a peaceful place beneath a wide open sky where his roots would have room to comfortably grow. He has described the land around the atelier in this way many times before.
Later, when the entire group is finally reunited and Olruggio tells Qifrey they’re going home. Qifrey’s expression looks pained for a moment, before he answers, “Alright then. Let's go home. Our atelier awaits."
His verbal recognition of the atelier as his home is a rather glaring signal that he is beginning to accept his imminent end and has chosen the atelier as his ideal final resting place. This is hinted at early on in a sequence during which Beldaruit spoke to Riliphin of the Silverwoods, and implied that he knew of Qifrey’s condition as he privately worried that his beginning to think of the atelier as his home could be dangerous for him.
At a point during their journey home, we return to the group to find the girls all asleep, while Qifrey has distanced himself from the rest, sitting on the bank of a lake to write in his book. Olruggio joins him and points out how far he’s sitting from the fire.
I think this was probably intentional in an effort to be closer to the lake to keep himself anxious, since it is my personal theory that here, Qifrey is actually writing a letter to Olruggio in which he tells him the entire truth, and that the narration through the next arc is comprised of excerpts from that letter. The lake is intended to be a failsafe of sorts, since of course, we know that vocalizing the truth to Olly is Qifrey’s greatest comfort trigger, while water touching his skin is his biggest anxiety trigger. Given this, it makes sense for him to choose this particular spot to begin to release the truth so he has a means of keeping the Silverwood at bay readily available should he need it, which he evidently does later on.
In the segments that follow, Qifrey reminisces on how he and Olruggio crossed paths at the Great Hall and became close.
Through the end of chapter 91, we watch the story unfold neutrally as though it is happening in real time, with no narration, but in chapter 92, something shifts. As soon as Qifrey’s recount reaches the part of the story that would have been lost to Olruggio’s memory, a past-tense narrator voice begins to cut in, and suddenly, it becomes clear this story is being told to someone, not merely recalled, and not just to anyone, but to Olruggio by Qifrey. This is the strongest evidence that what we’re reading is actually the contents of a letter to Olruggio.
All of this indicates to me that Qifrey is not just reminiscing, but is actively preparing for the end. The telling of the story, the physical and emotional distance Qifrey has put between himself and the others, and his now repeated framing of the atelier as both home and the kind of place where he would want to be forever, are all supportive of that.
As far as we know, Qifrey hasn’t been the one to initiate a full confession since they were kids at the Tower of Tomes. Spilling his guts in a letter written under duress is probably a new tactic, and it’s a smart one, as it ensures Qifrey can get the complete truth out on his terms without the usual interruption from the Silvertree.
We also know that Qifrey would rather die than have his transformation hurt the people he loves, so at this point, I wouldn't put it past him to leave the letter at home where the others will find it before going off to trigger his transformation alone, or waiting until the others are gone to trigger it.
This is what has me especially worried for him now, because Olruggio and the girls just left the atelier, leaving Qifrey there by himself. Maybe I'm projecting (probably), but the thought of Qifrey leaving a note and then going off to essentially kill himself makes my stomach hurt. Painfully though, it does feel in character, especially now that he's vocalized his trust in his students, particularly Coco, to carry on his mission. Olruggio, please go home now, your husband is an active danger to himself!!
Fortunately, Hiehart and Jujy pay the atelier a visit, but even upon greeting them, he does already seem on edge and uncharacteristically down.
Hopefully, whatever Hiehart has to say will get Qifrey out of his head and convince him to keep living for a little while longer. I'm guessing he's going to ask Qifrey to take on Jujy as his apprentice. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Anyways. To conclude, here is Qifrey’s directed narration/possible excerpts from a letter to Olruggio compiled:
Every day I turned my gaze away from the encroaching dread, and for as long as I was in the dark, I was happy. I greeted each morning with excitement, for with the rise of the sun came another adventure with you. I thought if I could retrieve the past I lost, my joy would be as genuine as yours, and perhaps I would have a real chance to share in your happiness. A child can dream. Like ordinary boys, we would share our visions of tomorrow with each other and we would laugh at how far away it all seemed.
Little did I know that felicity came with forgetting. It was a bliss born of ignorance. If I knew what I was… If I knew that I was never meant to be saved, I would've stayed far away from you, the sky’s kindest, most radiant star.
I once read an old poem that likened stars to boats sailing through the sky. But as far as I know, boats don’t twinkle like stars. The light doesn’t come from the vessel itself, but its guiding torch. Like your pyreball, it burns at the bow. A beacon of light in the dark.
After that fateful day, you would uncover my secret again and again. Each time you would respond with disbelief. Then your face would twist and turn in anguish. And after biting back a few words, you would show me grace, and comfort me and forgive me for lying to you. And then, without fail, the Silverwood’s roots would grow. You would offer me the same path back every time, and I would take it, adding to my mess of sins.
I had often considered leaving your side. I thought that perhaps traveling alone would save me from taking away your memories. But even that minute solace was enough for the Silverwood. I knew then that distance would do nothing but break my promise to you.
So I had another thought: A master never wants for worry with apprentices to look after. The selfishness behind my reason for taking on pupils made me ill, but they’d never have to know that. So I decided to put every fiber of my being toward becoming a good educator. If only I had known then what a joy it truly is to watch your students grow with each passing day.
It’s somewhat rare for a Silverwood to take root in people. Unlike animals, they tend to hold onto too much anxiety. Which is why the tree planted in Custus that gave him his legs raises some questions. My right eye was the only one to sprout during the experiments. It must have some connection to the Silverwood in Custas. For so long, I thought I was the only host, but now I'm not so sure. There could be more victims out there than I ever imagined.
Did I make the right choice?
Would it have been better to throw everything aside and hunt down the brimmed caps?
Doubts like these turn in my head, but the moment I see my atelier, I remember.
This is where my heart is. This is where I want to be.
I wanted to add to the thematic reasoning behind this theory.
spoilers for ch96 ahead
First holy shit, seeing the monologue written out, it really does look like a "deadman's switch" for the case of his death.
ch95 and ch96 start off our winter arc, and both of them offer a foreboding message about the circle of life and the necessity of death in it.
With the arc starting off with death very much in our face, it's very likely that there will be at least one major character death. These specific mentions of the circle of life also call my attention to the only other time it has been mentioned previously in the manga:
I believe by the end of the series, Qifrey will be "cured" in some way; but as of now, he seems to be the most likely person to "feed the Earth's soil".
I don't think, however, that he will seek out to die as of now. Most likely, there will be something that triggers it at the end of the climax of the arc or during the resolution. A tree that will bloom in the spring.
This chapter also includes olruggio sharing with tetia his values.
The people that "pass" are essentially the people that he couldn't save. He has accepted that this guilt for others is a part of him that will not go away. I hope he is prepared for another winter where he will not be able to save everyone with his magic.
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