dust in your pocket

[ozenga]

?

You know what’s an exaggeration? Swearing yourself off of any interaction outside of work, big or small, for seven damn years. If it’s ten, however, that... that’s believable. How, you ask?

Easy. It shows when he poses the following question:

“So... bodyguard?”

You know someone for practically their whole life and talk to them like that? Alright, fucking A. But so what? It doesn’t hurt to start now... knowing someone. Getting to, anyway.

Ozen isn’t drunk. At least on his usual, bottle of chardonnay in one hand a courtesy of Sana from just last month. “I’ve seen you around for ages, friend.” He smiles a little loopy, raising his glass with his other hand to motion to him. “Think I kinda trust you...” Mumbles a little something like, “I mean then again, trusted Dorj for twenty-five years straight...” blah, blah, blah. He pours another one out, offering the rest of the bottle to Taash. “Loosen up a little if you’re not on duty.” If that’s how this works.

[asnksga]

feel your weight

[ozenga]

asnksga:

A breath is all it takes: barely-there then deep through the swell of her lungs; easy does it, and gives way to how she’s never felt freer.

Together, they pad over the expanse of the lawn. There’s a warm hum in the air, deceptively calm, but it’s enough to keep the gravity of the situation at bay. Asana stops to perch on one of the lower garden walls. One hand reaches down to tug at her feet, left then right, and a pair of thin stilettos fall into a heap onto the grass below.

“Something like that,” she sighs, palms over the slate ledge, leaning back. After some consideration: “You handled it pretty well.” Her mind turns over the details, from here to a time that doesn’t feel quite like theirs like it might have once. Distant. Removed. A ghost of a smile graces her lips to match. “You’re used to that kind of attention, aren’t you." Getting fussed over.

From the corner of her eye, she gives him a once-over. A sideways attempt to bring together the side profile she’s always known to the one that she sees now. Almost. It’s the thought that counts, or what he embodies of it, anyway.

“Can’t be any different for you,” he says, like a sigh but not slurred. “We’re the ones doing this together for a reason.” He can feel her eyes on him, brief as they are, but he doesn’t disturb the glance with one from his end. She’s in his memory anyway, and even if it doesn’t hurt to seize what you can while it’s still there, something tells him to let her have this one for herself. Instead, he undoes his vest and some buttons on his dress shirt, shrugging off the former and laying it carefully between them on the perch. There’s something about the air that feels inescapable, history and heat having nothing to do with it this time around.

The future, maybe, and how it’ll be here but not the way anyone would expect.

He closes his eyes and takes it all in, braving its must. Allows himself to slouch, hands clasped together in his lap. One leg sticks out, the other one bent at the knee. Rolling his neck, he takes his time with this and everything else that follows. “How do you really feel?”

[ozenga]

in time

[ozenga]

yviga:

no words come to mind when she looks at him. only a bittersweet feeling remains. this wasn’t the reunion she had in mind.

“yes, he is.” stiffer than she’d imagined. there’s no need to be formal when it’s just the two of them, but old habits die hard, and it takes a little while to get used to him again. “it feels strange.” she doesn’t try to hide her ambivalence; having spent the majority of the service blankly staring ahead, that much should be obvious by now.

formally speaking, she’s just so shaken. but reality isn’t so simple.

“did you go and see her before the reception?” both understated and prying. ozen should know well enough. he eludes her sense propriety in general, so you can’t really fault her for asking. “not saying now is a good time, just asking.” pause. she sighs as she turns to look at him. “i wouldn’t have minded seeing you before either.”

“Tch.” He smiles for the first time today, incredulously. There may be a fair share of ups and downs amongst siblings, but with Yui being closer to him in age than the youngest, naturally he’d want more of the former. Don’t make this something it doesn’t have to be. Ozen is more than happy to let her finish her sentence before he can interject, however, brushing his nose with a knuckle of his index finger before returning his sister’s gaze, unmoving. “You had your friends to get to, no?” Only budges to put his hands back in the pockets of his slacks, grazing her shoulder lightly as he sways closer. “She can wait.”

If there was any way to make it known that he’s now a lot more troubled inside by a recent turn of events, moreso revelation, he wouldn’t do it here. Shouldn’t, because hey, read the room. But there’s no way you can really hide from something like that either. You can pretend you don’t know any better or genuinely know better anyway and just not care, seeing love in the eyes of who your affection is for for literally just not you. “Did you know?” He isn’t looking at Yui when he asks. “That it goes both ways?”

Ozen blinks, taking a measured breath before letting it go like this: “Effort.”

[asnksga]

feel your weight

[ozenga]

asnksga‌:

@ozenga

ONE YEAR AGO, THE ENGAGEMENT

This late at night, the reception is no longer about them and she’s thankful for it. Leave it to endless champagne showers for people to pour themselves silly into punch drunk bliss and veer the event gloriously off course, the banquet hall of the palace rendered to nothing but an immodest backdrop to the revelry. 

It’s been easier to tolerate than expected. Then again, anything feels easier to swallow with a little bit of drink in you. Like looking at Ozen as she does now, with less of the residual discomfort, the ever-present mournful ache buried deep in her chest more bearable. 

“Ozie,” A nickname that still manages to stick after all these years, with enough fondness for him to understand. They’re close enough to the guard-less backdoors to take the chance. She reaches for his wrist and gives it a small tug. “Let’s leave.” 

It takes two to tango. Happy feet if you want it to be something to remember down the road. This instance is equal parts relenting and a pain in the neck, but even if Asana’s got some buzz in her, Ozen can’t find it in him to complain. Just foolishness if he’d turned her down. Thankfully nothing else for the rest of the night would serve him a greater pleasure. Then again, when does anything ever compare?

If her hand is to stay around his wrist, so be it. It’s something. He follows her wordlessly, a moth drawn to a flame. Outside, it is what it is: all theirs, even if guards might be lingering around gates. They aren’t close enough to disturb anything, though. So it stays.

The way of the wind in the trees is missed, but it seems vacation-esque, wishing for that during any time here at home. It’s weird being here, what more with her. Maybe this just hasn’t sunken in yet. It probably won’t, at least not for a while. Money moment pending and aside... what else is there to think about?

Nothing, he elects. They’ve already cleared all their good graces for the time to come as a new kind of duo out of their systems, a silent hope that there aren’t any bad ones. Carefully, Ozen slips away from Asana’s grasp and opts for being at her side, hands to himself. Tired, he still manages a grin even if he’s not looking at her to share it. It doesn’t come difficult with you. “Long day, huh?”

[asnksga]

bitters & absolut

[ozenga]

asnksga‌:

@ozenga / @dorjeega

TWO MONTHS AGO, PRE-DOBS

Nothing could’ve prepared her for this: an arrangement too soon, an arrival too late. Sitting across when they’ve always, always sat in a row, two to one, heart sinking by the passing second instead of the soaring lift of elation. 

It’s all wrong: the wrong ring, the wrong hand at the small of her back, the weather bright as if this is something worth celebrating. She avoids meeting any eyes, be it from the man on the other side of the table to the man sitting to her right. God, is all she thinks, holding her glass by the stem in complete and utter silence. God help me. 

Smile tight, head low. No real place for his arm around her once he’s changed his mind, but it settles on her shoulders anyway. Hell of an extended metaphor. 

He can’t even remember putting the ring on her the day of. Dorjee doesn’t seem like he feels like asking. Ozen doesn’t feel like bullshitting. It’s a lot of “won’t” and “can’t” and “shouldn’t” here, but the most he can ask himself now is... where was that before? Like, before.

A hum. His arm doesn’t belong, but he leaves it there. Told you. He keeps his sight set on Dorjee, desperately in a way that isn’t so matter-of-fact. But all he can do is hum quieter, a flame in him tired every time it is lit. “Really happy to see you.” Ozen lets a hiccup pass, clearing his throat as he looks back down at his lap, nodding. Not wrong. But not for the right reasons, either.

[ozenga]

in time

“Hey.” Long time, no talk. Ergo a look Ozen won’t be surprised seeing for finally volunteering to speak at this time. With the public service out of the way, he figures there’s no front to put up for everyone to see. Everyone everyone. No crime in being comfortable then. Small talk’s not a bad thing to have, either. Really.

He looks at Yui, not waiting for eye contact to be reciprocated. “He’s really gone, huh?” he continues. His eyes flit over to Asana at the other side of the room, back to his sister before she can squeeze in a word. There’s remorse, but. “Sucks.”

@yviga

[dumbwow-deactivated20220815]

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[ozenga]

i bring [ dj khaled vc ] another one

this is ozen, firstborn of the oh-so-capitalistic keritas. he is:

heavily involved with his family business as an executive alongside his father, leaving practically no room for newer relations outside of work dynamics. livin’ it up just because they have the means for it

not soulless, not the warmest person around either, just. *white flag* with what his life’s become. every major decision has been made for him, he’s hollow inside

engaged to asana, one of his childhood best friends. only now welcoming their other one, dorjee, back home but with this... super thick tension that’s beyond the three of them

stupid pining over the former but the lack of reciprocation’s been clear since childhood and he’s hung onto some thin thread of hope that it would change until recently with this out-of-place marriage pact 🤡

not having a good time

and damn, what timing it is with fire lord ishan throwing the entirety of the hierarchy into complete chaos just by not living anymore. rest in peace anyway

DOBS: he was doing business elsewhere. not too far from home when news broke out, but that was enough to summon him back and make sure the rest of his family (and asana) was alright, not affected by the attack

POST DOBS: not like his engagement is in shambles or anything but there is no excitement in getting the show on the road fr fr. like if there wasn’t already then there definitely isn’t now and so honestly? rest in peace to him too

he’ll be in and out of the funeral to pay respects but that’s it 🤷 if you see him: no you don’t