“Welcome to the Opinion Removal clinic. You’re new! Here for the full service or something specific or… ?”
“I got this, uh, voucher? From a friend? Think it’s a joke present or something but whatever. Says it’s good for a free one?”
“Just the one? Can I see? Hmm, okay. Just follow me through here, that’s it, and sit here if you could. Perfect! Now, I could run you through all the options or I can do one of our more popular choices for you and make you less smart, how about that? Most girls here for one start with that.”
“But being smart isn’t an opinion.”
“True, but you can be as smart as anything and it won’t matter at all if you don’t think you are. Perception is reality, I’m sure you’ve heard of that, smart girl like you. Yes? If your opinion is that you’re a dummy, then you’re a dummy, however smart you actually are.”
“Shh, don’t think about it. Don’t think at all. In fact, you should be finding it harder and harder to think even as we speak. Noticing that?”
“You have the look of a girl who feels a bit differently about herself. I know that look.”
“It’s… that feels… Strange.”
“It can, at first, but that’ll pass. That’s the change settling in. Hard to think?”
“That’s because we’ve taken away that old, unhelpful opinion and given you a new one. You’re not a smart girl, are you?”
“And you never were. Yes?”
“Yes… I mean... no? C-confusing.”
“Heh, don’t worry. I can tell you were trying. See? Opinions matter. Make us who we are. You know that you’re not smart, and so you never try to be, and so you’re not. It’s quite simple, really. You’re not smart.”
“There you go. Now, a smart girl would probably stop at just the one since that’s all she came in for, but you’re not a smart girl and so you don’t really know what you want, do you?”
“Would you like me to tell you what you should do?”
“Poor thing, trying to think must be so hard for you! I’ll do it for you. You want to keep going.”
“That’s it! There you go. This is another popular one. Feeling that tingle?”
“See, there’s a difference between thinking you’re not smart and thinking that you’re dumb, but having both together always seems to work best. Knowing you’re not smart is one thing, a lot of people have that. Knowing that you’re dumb? That’s something different. It feels good though, doesn’t it?”
“M’was always dumb… dumb girl…”
“That’s right, you were, well done. And it’s like a big weight is lifted. Not that you had much weight to start with. Dumb girls like you have so much less to worry about. All those big, scary, confusing choices are put nice and safe out of your reach and your world is just that much easier for you. Good girl.”
“Now, we’re going to keep going, because it’s what you want, but first, this voucher your friend gave you? Tsch, silly girl. You really should have read this better, you know. The voucher is good for one complete personality adjustment. Oh well. Suppose you weren’t that smart even before, hmm? This is for the best.”
“Shh, it’s okay. Just sit. Relax. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
