e | s
awkward, queer, ace, nb, hermit
wannabe photographer, writer, artist
they/them please.
abo maybe, kink, consent, healthy poly things, gender stuff, timeline hops, usually no beta, same universe despite weird timeline things
sg // kara, alex, lena, maggie, lucy.
prompts & questions welcome but please do not reblog sg stuff! i'm not looking to get interjected into anti-kalex drama
cr // beau, yasha | keyleth, vex
keep the anti hate to yourself. var sc_project=11604836; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="c5785a01"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "https://www."); document.write("");
"You're sure?" Kara had asked, once again that last night they had spent under Eliza's roof, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable Alexā¦ I can figure something else out."
A headshake, "It's fine, really." A nudge to the tense form next to her, "You like doing it right?" the blonde head nods in response, "Not feelin' pressured or whatever?" another nod, "Then it's fine, you're happy, so I'm happy."
Kara tucks the last bit of clothing into her bag, fingers playing with the zipper a bit before looking up at her, eyes hidden behind dishevelled fringe "It couldā¦" a deep breath as she gathers up some courage, "maybe help with school?"
Tangling their fingers together in a familiar gesture, "Huh? Didn't you say you were 'totally done with dated human learning practices' or something?"
They stand up together, each shouldering a bag "I meant for you."
Alex swallows, attempting to drop their linked hands with little success, "'m fine Kara."
She shakes her head at that though, tugs Alex into her and wraps strong arms around her waist, "I know she stopped paying for school."
A trembling shutter as the words confirm that Alex hadn't been quite as good at hiding it from the taller girl as she had intended. It had hurt, to lose what last bits of meagre support her mother had offered just because Alex hadn't wanted to follow in Eliza's footsteps.
Alex had had to pick up a second job on top of the full course load and part-time campus job she already had to make ends meet, had only just managed to scrape by without losing her scholarship or getting benched. She was exhausted though and much as she didn't want to rely on Kara for support, the offer was tempting.
"We'll see," Was as much as Alex was willing to concede to, for the moment at least.
some soft vexleths for my friend's birthday earlier this month
[image description: an illustration of Vex'ahlia from Critical Role embracing Keyleth to her chest. Vex is gazing at the viewer while holding Keyleth protectively. Keyleth has her eyes closed. End ID.]
Yāall. Many fic writers donāt pay attention to, or care about, the hits and kudos we get. I have my kudos emails turned off completely. They just arenāt a reliable metric for knowing whether or not someone enjoyed our work.
Donāt know what to say? Just putĀ āLoved this!ā Thatās all. You have no idea how big of a dopamine hit we get when we receive comments as opposed to kudos (or worse, nothing at all).
And likeā¦ I have anxiety. I understand not knowing what to say. But I have never met a single fic writer who would object to receiving āLoved this!ā orĀ āGreat chapter!ā Short comments are perfectly fine. Prepare like 3-4 of them and use those.
I honestly hate the kudos system on AO3. I think it was a huge mistake on their part. I love AO3 so much, but I think kudos are ruining fanfic. It makes readers feel as thoughĀ theyĀ interacted with the work, without making authors feel the same way. Only comments can do that.
Sure, some authors like kudos, I guess. But myself and most of the people Iāve talked to are ambivalent about them, or actively dislike them because it means fewer comments, which are solid proof that someone read and probably enjoyed our storiesāand that they want to interact with us, the authors who work so hard to create.
google docs or microsoft word? character moodboards or character playlists? writing with music or writing in silence? lots of half finished wips or one project at a time? plotter or pantser? more dialogue or more description? character-driven books or plot-driven books? enemies to lovers or friends to lovers?
iuno word vomit.
established vexleth
--
A furred ear twitches as the footsteps come closer. Itās late, well past sunset and the Keep is mostly quiet outside of the snores coming from Grog a few feet away - but she can clearly discern the scrape of bare feet followed closely by the soft rumbles and gentle paw scuffing from Trinket.
She stretches a bit, just as comfortable in this form as she is in her true one, and scoots to make a bit of room for the body she knows is about to curl up against her own.
āHey there, tiger.ā quietly accompanied with a gentle scritch behind a twitching ear and she canāt help the rumbling purr that escapes as Vex tucks herself up against her, Trinket flanking them and providing a bit of privacy should someone else stumble onto their little impromptu nest in front of the fire.
She loves that even when sheās definitely not hiding in Minxie form Vex still wants to be close, still wants to cuddle up when they can get away with it.
Though thereās the lingering pinch of heartache knowing that the ranger will sneak away before dawn, just as quietly as she had come.
almost 50k words later and Iām still not super confident with writing vexleth. lilā snippetĀ ācause i donāt think iāll ever want to post it.Ā
established keyleth/vex.
not betaād sorry, i donāt like touching nano stuff until afterwards.
spoilers? i guess, can you still call it spoilers when itās been so long?
~
āKeyleth.ā
But the druid isnāt paying attention, pacing still, hands tangled in her hair in frustration, āWhat gave him the right?! After all that, all the belittling comments, all the patronising remarks about my ability to lead.ā
Vex reaches out a hand again, wanting to offer comfort but not sure how welcome it would be at the moment.
āWhat gave him the right?! After he spent so long telling me that we couldnāt risk his fucking precious Whitestone and to wait.ā
She drops then, back against the wall, tears running down her cheeks as Vex crouches in front of her, close enough to touch and hand hoving in offer of contact.
A whisper now, voice breaking āshe slaughtered my people. Let them take her in to earn their trust so she could kill them all when she released him.ā
āI know.ā Vex reaches out to brush a tear from the reddened cheek, noting the shaking body and wondering how much of that is still the pent up rage instead of the defeat now colouring the redheads' voice.
āWhat gave him the right to take that from me? Everyone constantly telling me to wait, to reign it in, that we canāt do it now. But Percy? He gets to justā¦ just stab her in the middle of Whitestone with his sister in the room and everyone is praising him for his thoughtfulness.ā
āI know, darling.ā Vex scoots forward, pulling Keyleth to her, āIf it helps he looked like a right twat stabbing at an illusion and as much as heās trying to spin it, considering his words when we got back, you know heād been planning to get a lucky hit in.ā
Keyleth snorts a bit at that, sucking in a trembling breath as she tucks her face into Vexās shoulder. āwhat was he planning anyways? Not like heās very good with a swordā¦ā
Hands tangling in red hair and tugging her up gently, āRight? Now had it been Vax at least heād have done some real damage to thatā¦ illusion?ā
Keyleth gives her a water smile at that, some of her good humour restored and Vex leans in to drop a kiss to a heated, tear-stained cheek. āWhat Percy did was fucked, my darling. But heāsā¦ well, heās Percy and you know he thinks heās the smartest person in the room always. If anyone was going to destroy Whitestone you know heād do it first just to prove a point.ā
They sit together in silence for a long while, moments of uncontrollable, heaving sobs and angry, frustrated screaming from the Druid before they finally move off the floor and onto the bed. Vex pulls the redhead back into her arms, spooning up close behind her and dropping a series of soft kisses along her neck and words of comfort whispered into a delicately pointed ear.
āDo you think he was right? Thatā¦ā a deep breath and soft sniffle, āthat itās more important to build on a legacy, that thinking about the now is what matters? Am I wrong in worrying about what the ramifications of our actions now will have a hundred years down the road?ā
Vexās arms tighten around her, āI donāt know that either of you are right or wrong.ā A beat to get her thoughts sorted out, āWe, Vax and I, spent a lot of time around Elven nobilityā¦ They have to think in terms of centuries and Percyā¦ well, heās human Keyleth. He knows nothing about the responsibility of those in power who have to consider those things, he canāt consider those things because he will not be here in 200 years to see the scale of damage of the things he set in motion.ā
Keyleth lets out a sigh and her body slumps a bit.
āBut Keyleth,ā Vex continues to say āYou can learn from him. Youāll outlive all of us if you finish your Aramentae, right? Learn from Percy here, heās brash and selfish, spoiled and privileged, single-minded and narcissistic, but he does what he thinks is best for his people and tries to make sure his legacy can continue to provide for them. Heās a terrible leader in a lot of ways but there are still things you can learn from him and there are things you can teach him. Keep holding him accountable, keep making him stop and think about the overreaching consequences, keep being his moral compass and reminding him that his people and friends are not fodder and that going in to kill off an entire race of people to piss off a Dragon is not okay.ā
Sheās quiet so long that Vex would be sure sheād fallen asleep if It werenāt for the fingers still periodically clenching around her arm and the irregular breaths, āthanks Vex.ā
Keyleth does finally relax then, settles back into her, body all soft and malleable like usual and her breath evens out into a semblance of normality.
āAnd Iām sorry Keyleth.ā A thick swallow, āI think Iāve beenā¦ very bad at supporting you recently.Ā I donāt think it really hit me until Percival was attempting to stab her that weāve all been pretty terrible about considering how horrible you must have been feeling about having to work with herā¦ and I should have been better about that.ā
lilā snippet of a new chapter for thisĀ since iām incapable of finishing things. iuno spoilers & stuff. vaguely nsfw or something like that.
--
Sheād gotten close, gotten attached, had lost control of the tangle of feelings towards the other woman that seemed to flourish every time a look or touch or quirk of the lips was sent her way. Beau had been allowed to touch that hidden mark, finally understood the grief that haunted those eyes and the hesitance, had shared a piece of her own grief and edged a bit further in.
Things had changed between them.
The looks lingered longer, touches more gentle, the brief moments they could steal away from the group had a different cadence to them. Yasha still hadnāt dared to push past their well-defined boundaries, hadnāt let touches venture any further, but Beau had finally seen the taller woman break against her. Had held the trembling form and endured the rough, nipping kisses as Yasha responded to the good-natured ribbing about how talented she must be to evoke that without actually getting her hands on pale skin.
Beau didnāt, couldnāt believe for a moment that any of that had been a cleverly crafted front.
The woman theyād left and the one they needed to reclaim, while apparently inhabiting the same body, wasnāt... couldnāt be one in the same.
The crack of thunder wakes her, heart hammering with equal parts fear and breath-taking anticipation. Sheās alone, covered in a cold clammy sweat and tangled up in bedding that isnāt her own, the mural of wildflowers flanking her.
written for day seven of beau week, 2019 // keepsakes
She had one of the little dicks Jester had drawn with her fancy paint tucked away in one of her various pockets, a shaved bit of the Ball-Eater, a growingly more stale bit of chocolate, along with a handful of other things that reminded her of her friends or the people theyād met and been close to along the way.
Nilaās feather is one of the few she keeps on open display, still attached to her Bo, now accompanied by the stupid bow tied onto the end.
The wrapping from an unsmoked cigarette is tucked alongside that note from Keg.
i'm a creature of habit.. vague beauyasha as usual
written for day six of beau week, 2019 // Cobalt Soul
She had hated it there, all the pinched faces and stuffy attitudes. Had hated her father for having them take her, her mother for standing by and letting it happen. Hated that the monks didnāt understand her any better than her parents did that they kept trying to force her into this role of a perfect student, studious apprentice.
But she hadnāt hated all of it, not the library filled to the brim with all sorts of obscure and interesting secrets, not the training and learning how to fight, not the escape from parents that had only ever looked at her in disappointment.
written for day five of beau week, 2019 // lesbian pride - falling in love
Itās the quiet, broken āIām Sorryā that does it, causes her heart to skip and a warm weight to drop down over her.
Yashaās bruised and bloody face, the trembling hand gripping her wrist, everything had been spiraling out of control, things were not good but at that moment as the interestingly coloured eyes finally, finally clear, the knowledge of what those tangled feelings have been building to comes shining through.
written for day four of beau week, 2019 // family ties
Itās a lot, even just thinking about it. Sheād detached so much that telling Fjord hadnāt seemed like a big deal, until his comments. Thereās just so much anger, disappointment, but also indifference and itās all just a jumbled mess that is hard to sort out.
āIf?ā Yasha prods, voice soft, gentle fingers circling around her wrist.
Itās hard to get the words out, sheās so angry, but not at themā¦ not at him, but at Fjord and his words and attempts to guilt.
āIf I didnāt care about them?ā Turning to look at the taller woman again.
established Beau/Yasha
super vague dairon/leylas mentions
written for day three of beau week, 2019 // Modern AU + Dairon.
āThought you were avoiding me.ā
Beau huffs in response while flopping down into the grass next to Yasah. She had kind of hoped to not be called on it, at least not yet, there's a lot of jumbled emotions and it had been far simpler to just ignore them. Focus on her classes and trainingā¦ even if that meant avoiding all of her friends and her girlfriend for most of the week.
[ao3]
Sheād thrown the first punch without really thinking about it, an instinctive reaction to the brief flare of aggression from Yasha, giving in to the urge to lash out and hurt someone else, an outlet for the anger sheād been forced to suppress all day.
Daironās words echoing in her mind as her fist connects, Patience.
The cheers and chuckles reach her ears and thereās a reassuring moment where Beau realises sheās likely not going to end up arrested for starting a fight. Best city ever.
Thereās a flash of pain as a fist seemingly larger than her head connects with her chest, throwing her back and nearly knocking the wind out of her as she connects with a wall.
Patience.
Yeah sure she could be patient, take a breath and walk away, offer apologies to the large grey skinned figure, not like Yasha really needed Beau to defend her honour.
written for day one of beau week, 2019 // animals.
It hurts more than it really should, sheās used to everyone leaving her anyways, does what she can to guard against thatā¦ but fuck she canāt even keep a stupid pet.
One more shot, maybe sheāll get lucky and that jerk of an owl will swoop down and bite her again, āProfessor?ā
But itās quiet, still, not even a break in the skyline, none of that terrifying owl screech she had started to get used to, no lessening of the little ball of loneliness worming its way into her chest.
