June is almost over and we are feeling the summer here: the last days have been sunny and warm.Ā
Iām trying to just study and not to think about how desperate I am about my exam (actually my exams, my last 3 exams).Ā
I studied a lot, I studied everythingĀ and maybe itās simply too much for my stressed brain to process and remember. In the end, I may fail because I studied too much, but - in a word - badly: itās what hurts the most.Ā
I am not an efficient machine, sorry everyone.Ā
As always, I didnāt manage to organize my studying at the best, for many reasons, so I could not revise properly all the materials. IĀ definitelyĀ underestimatedĀ theĀ difficultyĀ ofĀ revisingĀ inĀ anotherĀ language.Ā Ā
Maybe I will do surprisingly well during the exam, or maybe not.Ā
My brain is terribly full and tired. This exam seems ENDLESS and I feel like Iām burning out. I feel stupid for being so disorganized: I always overestimate my capacity and I end up with overloading myself and not accomplishing my daily goals. I donāt really know how the other people manage to be so efficient.
It was supposed to be a better month, but in the end, I didnāt succeed in my resolutions. In fact, I even broke some good habits (workouts and journaling) because of study: however, Iām determined to start them again, soon as I take this damn exam, whichever the result will be.Ā
I should consider that changes in life donāt occur in a few days: they take time and efforts, and failures as well.Ā
Okay, I complaint enough. Iām sorry if you expected this blog to be about positivity and productivity. It was meant to be so, but instead it seems to be more about the downsides, the mess, the anxieties and insecurities, at least for the moment. I hope to provide you with happier contents very soon.
I think there are only fewĀ positive things that made me proud in this month:
I have (officially) started writing a fanfiction together with a friend. I havenāt been writing for too much time because I lacked inspiration and motivation, but now I feel Iām enjoying it again, so probably I will not abandon this project.Ā
(AKA people who are somehow contributing to my inspiration and motivation)
@notes-of-a-ghost @serendistudy @coffeeandpies @captainofstudies @studyingwithmi @studymustard @pomelo14 @dungeonstudy @hannistudies @studiesing @starduststudies @pagtuon @cafe-studyy @diaryofastemstudent @eintsein @friendly-neighborhood-study-pal @eduardastudies @ravenclaw-wisdom @myhoneststudyblr @energyandmatter @be-gay-study-crime @sylvanbibelotĀ
Wow, youāre so many! Thank you a lot for liking, reposting, commenting, following my blog or just making good contents appearing on my dashboard!