your best nightmare @alesbianloser - Tumblr Blog

ik im a microorganism in the tumblr ecosystem but i figured i should make one of these anyways:

DO NOT FOLLOW:

TERFS

NEO-NAZIS

NOT SUPPORTIVE/RESPECFTUL OF QUEERS, POC, OTHER CULTURES, etc

TAXIDERMISTS/TAXIDERMY BLOGS OR ANYTHING ABOUT ANIMAL DEATH OR ABUSE (it is a huge trigger for me so please stay away)

pro/anti shippers (not strict but just keep your shit off my dash)

if you generally engage in fandom discourse or internet drama. blogging info is fine but if you get involved pls go away thx

if youre religious and blog about it a lot (especially evangelicals)

if you watch fox news (/hj)

if you dont respect/support neurodivergents!!

pro-israel/anti-palestine

i sometimes reblog fandom stuff!

not in enough volume or frequency to make separate fandom blogs, but if you dont like it just keep that in mind!

thats it for now ill add more if/when i think of anything else!

charlesoberonn

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

charlesoberonn

asphor

I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day

charlesoberonn

The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.

asphor

Yeah that checks out.

What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?

charlesoberonn

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.

charlesoberonn

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.

Painter: Aw...

Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔

charlesoberonn

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.

Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.

Candysseia: And where did he come from?

Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.

charlesoberonn

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

Pericles: *hands him papyrus*

Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!

charlesoberonn

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).

phineas-and-ferb-heritage-posts

phineas and ferb heritage post

retroject

I found a lovely snail at work who was dried out so I let him have a shower and he seemed to enjoy it!! 🐌🚿

scififantasystuff

joy-and-whimsy-official

Joy and whimsy detected! This snower (snail shower) is joyful and whimsical! 🐌🚿

redstonedust

well you know what they say. whoever snelt it snelt it.

homunculus-argument

Squatters' rights apply to grandmas. If someone's not visiting and looking after their grandma, but you will, after a set amount of time once you've settled in, that's your grandma now.

shoutingtothevoidtilldeath

Someone tried to do that with my grandma once. The guy tried to become her kid so they could inherit the house and money.

My grandma people pleases in a way where she lies all the time, so it was really hard to figure out whether or not she wanted to be in that situation, but after she was started to disown my mom (who would travel a couple hours every week to see her) we started fighting the guy. We’re now in a legal battle because he’s been using some sort of squatter’s/tenet’s rights to keep her house, and has had access to the grandma credit card(cuz she just let him borrow it). And my people pleasing grandma is now staying with us, and says she seething hates the guy.

3000s

stop being nasty

ceruleanheaven

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

reallyreallyreallytrying

breaking news: prince philip, the dad from the royal family, is a nasty little thottie. and he just died from making it clap on instagram

heritageposts

date of origin: 20th of june, 2018.

top-lil

Here’s a thing that happened to one of my friends. I was there.

Basically, we were walking down the sidewalk, talking about something meaningless. I think it had to do with a movie. Then this bus screeches up, stops next to us, and a bunch of people with “Down with Cis” shirts climbed out and started beating him up. I was punched and kicked a bit too, but I managed to avoid brutalization by going for their faces. After figuring out what’s happening, I started attacking them back, getting them off of him. He was quite injured but I called 911 and he made a full recovery at the hospital. I was fine, with only a cut on my arm that they patched up.

heritageposts

date of origin: 4th of april, 2015.

redstonedust

well, no, i didn’t expect leopards to eat my face, but this obviously wasn’t what the leopards eating people's face party wanted. they were stifled by their opposition and bureaucratic red tape! i think we should give more power to the leopard eating face party, so the leopards only eat the faces of people who deserve it. plus they just put a new leopard in charge of the face eating, and i think this one really brings something new to the table. so yes i'm voting for the leopards eating people's face party again. why wouldn't i.