Meh

GER/ENG|| Welcome to this mess.

[sorryish]

evan knoll / suzanne rivecca / charles bukowski / edgar allen poe / carrie fisher / andrea gibson / cynthia chapman / alanis morissette

[hedgehog-moss]

One of the first books I read in English as a kid, maybe 1 year after I started learning English, was a booklet with a title like, How to Have a Great Time at Summer Camp. I don’t remember the exact title and I know I only picked it up because the other books in English in my school’s library looked way beyond my level, stuff like Austen and Dickens. The summer camp booklet didn’t look too interesting but it was small with simple sentences. I ended up being fascinated with it because it was the most American thing I had ever got my hands on and it felt impossibly exotic

all the kids had cool American names like Jill and Mike. One of them at one point talked about the “chipmunks” in the woods near the camp, a mysterious word that didn’t exist in my tiny English dictionary, and for some reason I pictured them as scrawny wolves. I had read Little House on the Prairie so I knew wolves were a major concern for Americans

camp “counsellors” were often mentioned, and my pocket English dictionary only defined that word as “psychologue”. I thought it was weird how American summer camps had dozens of psychologists roaming the premises, one for every 5 to 10 kids. That felt like a lot of psychologists

I had no idea that the word “pet” could mean “favourite”. When the booklet said one kid might become “the camp counsellor’s pet”, my dictionary helpfully led me to believe it meant that a psychologist would pick one unfortunate kid to be his domestic animal for the summer. Slightly disturbing. I moved on

the kids slept in “bunks” and my stupid dictionary only defined this word as “couche”. Which is not wrong, but we would probably say couchette instead, or better yet lits superposés, and couche is also our word for diaper so you can see why I continued being deeply intrigued by every new detail I learnt in this booklet. American kids are excited about camp because they get to sleep in diapers

I had never encountered the word “baseball” before but managed to guess it was some kind of sport, but when the booklet mentioned the “baseball diamond” (in the context of a kid saying the baseball diamond was big) I of course assumed it was an actual diamond that you could win if you won a game of baseball at camp. For some reason I had a debate with a classmate over the plausibility of this. I say for some reason because I didn’t really question the diapers or the wolves or the psychologists with their human pets. A diamond though? Doubt. I just remember that we were queueing up for lunch and I was like “What do you think?” and my friend said hesitantly, “Maybe if it’s a small diamond?” and I insisted “No! The book says it’s big!”

among the basic items the book said every kid should bring to camp were “batteries”. I didn’t bother looking up that word in my dictionary seeing as it’s the same in French. I didn’t know it was a false friend, and I was impressed to learn that most American kids own a drum set and bring it to camp as an essential item

on the same page, in the list of things every kid should put in their suitcase for summer camp, another item was “comic books”. I wasn’t sure what those were since in French we call them BD, but basing myself on the word “comic” I assumed they were books of jokes and puns. I loved learning that in the US all kids bring humour anthologies to summer camp, presumably because they worry about running out of funny things to say. I thought American kids sounded nervous and sweet. But also really cool, because of all the drums

[rollingstoneboycomplex]

when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me

[sopherzzzz]

“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp… I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else–and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”

Lemony Snicket The Beatrice Letters

[grraveryl]

[thatsthekindoflove]

I am so sorry for what I give you guys

[rodrickheffeley]

happy birthday to ceo of doing this pose on every red carpet

[whenthebirdsareheardagain]

Not just red carpets!

[planetclaires-deactivated202404]

that urge to climb the rooftop of ur house. where does it come from.

[musingsofbooboothefool-deactiva]

the gargoyle instinct

[pettycentral]

[homoslovenc]

not even God can predict this ending

[catchymemes]

[lostalive]

Also. please remember to shame the companies selling these masks USELESSLY on the consumer market to get a ton of money from bad hype instead of keeping the sales where they belong: healthcare facilities.

Seriously SHAME TF out of them. 

Consumers are simply being uneducated about something they did not go to school for, which is why education like above is so great but is also not super effective. 

Companies selling these masks to consumers en masse instead of preserving them for healthcare workers know exactly what they are doing. 

They are making all the money they can off of completely irresponsible distribution of these masks to the incorrect people.

[glumshoe]

I have always been partial to stories which feature the removal of many layers of clothing as an important plot element. One of my favorite Scandinavian folktales is about a queen who, through some magical conception mishap, gives birth to twins. The younger twin is beautiful and normal in every way, but the older twin is just. Y’know. A big horrible snake with arms.

When the younger twin grows up and wants to get married, the lindworm returns and insists that he, as the elder prince, must be married first. When a massive horrible snake with arms lays down the law like that there isn’t really any room for disagreement, but it turns out to be awfully hard to find a bride willing to marry him. The king and queen search far and wide for a woman who will take a husband who is 50 feet long, doesn’t have legs, and may or may not eat his would-be wives when they are appalled by him, but eventually they find a local shepherd’s daughter who is either coerced, a monsterfucker, or just very open-minded and agrees to marry the lindworm.

Depending on the version, the bride either seeks out the advice of a witch or comes up with the idea all by herself, and goes to the bedchamber on her wedding night dressed in many layers of dresses. Her big horrible snake with arms husband is waiting for her and bids her to disrobe, but she asks him to shed a skin as well. Her sexy Russian nesting doll cosplay has so many layers that by the time she is naked, he has shed all of his skins and is 1.) either a sexy naked human dude underneath or 2.) is this meaty blob of helpless worm meat that must be whipped and bathed in chemicals before he transforms into a sexy naked human dude. Either way, they presumably live happily ever after and the younger prince can finally get married.

I’d like to know how the elder prince adjusted to having a human body. He was born a lindworm and lived his entire life slithering around—he’s never worn pants! He’s never had to sit on a toilet! What’s he gonna do now that he’s a sexy 20-something heir to the throne? Is it a shock for him when he looks down and he’s just got one sexual organ? His butt is in the back now, he’s got to shave, he’s got to eat with a fork and a knife and chew his food instead of unhinging his jaw and swallowing it whole.... is it weird for him? Is his honeymoon spent learning to walk on two legs? Is his instinct to crawl out of bed and drag himself across the floor by his arms? Does he roll onto his back and play dead when he gets scared? Does he wrap his torso around his lunch and attempt to constrict it? Is his wife... into this?

[headspace-hotel]

There’s no way to predict where this post is going from just the beginning

[punkconcert]

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

[somewhat-honest-abe]

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

[gh0sthoodie]

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

[vulpeculavolans]

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

[whatsitnot]

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[worstseawitch]

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

[arpeggia]

Diane Meyer - Time Spent That Might Otherwise Be Forgotten, 2011-2016

Artist’s statement:

“In the series, cross stitch embroidery has been sewn directly into family photographs. The images are broken down and reformed through the embroidery into a hand-sewn pixel structure. As areas of the image are concealed by the embroidery, small, seemingly trivial details emerge while the larger picture and context are erased. I am interested in the disjunct between actual experience and photographic representation and photography’s ability to supplant memory. By borrowing the visual language of digital imaging with an analog process, a connection is made between forgetting and digital file corruption. The tactility of the pieces also references the growing trend of photos remaining primarily digital- stored on cell phones and hard drives, but rarely printed out into a tangible object.”

[pucket]

[lius-is-a-catboy-deactivated202]

Portable hobbit hole from the future

[lius-is-a-catboy-deactivated202]

EARTH POD

[aberrantemotion]

ITS THE EARTH POD WE GOT THE FULL SET

[official-lucifers-child]

FUCKING HELL

[mrhungry]

WE UNLOCKED THE WHOLE GODDAMN SET

[weaver-z]

I rarely have a visceral reaction to a TikTok but this one... this one got me

[weaver-z]

List of wild things in this video:

- The guy whose computer screen you can see at the start is looking up “what to do if a dog has rabies”

- The unbroken wall of hydroflasks in front of the teacher’s podium

- Good Mythical Morning poster

- Inexplicable “NO TALKING DURING RAZOR LOVE” sign

- The guy next to the videographer just has the letters “WBOEOADRS” in giant font on his computer screen

- The teacher knowing to pause for booing after he mentione Ashe County Middle School

- The kid that yells “I hate them!” enthusiastically

- A sign that says “NO FREAKING” with a picture of two stick figures having sex

- Hand-painted “educasion is overated” poster

- The fact that the class knows to say “standing by” when he tells them to stand by

- The woman literally waiting outside the door to hand over the dog

- The tenderness with which he handles the dog before he announces its imminent demise

- “DO YOUR BUCKING VOCAB”

[justlookatthosesausages]

Please I’m begging you, please watch Klaus on Netflix, just for the sole animation and the tens of facial expressions per second that are all hand drawn

[argeriant18]

WAIT

HAND DRAWN

IT’S FREAKING HAND DRAWN

STORAGE BETTER MAKE SPACE I AM COMING FOR YOU

[looney-mooney]

HOLD UP I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS STYLIZED CGI LIKE THE SPIDERVERSE MOVIE??? WTF HOW IN THE HELL IS ALL THAT HAND DRAWN YOU’RE SHITTING ME hold up lemme google this shit -

H. Holy fuck. These people are absolutely insane. How on earth did they even -

OH OF COURSE IT WAS HIM

[the-tumblest-jacob-deactivated2]

Y’all might find this interesting.

[adobsonartworks]

Hey, that’s my video! Yay! Anything I can do to help people appreciate this masterpiece of new technology and 2D art style! :)

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Klaus is great! It’s funny and beautifully animated and has such a well-designed cast of characters. I highly recommend it to anybody looking for something to watch.

[katkrow-deactivated20211029]

Hey guys it gets even better!!

For a long time 2d animation hasnt been able to improve like how cgi always does, its one of the reasons that theres less of it now. One of the ways to improve 2d is too add shadow and depth but that requires drawing it on every frame and thats a shit ton of money amd time.

The team of Klaus set out to solve this problem. They made very cool programs that determine the idea of the form based on line art and one to add shadows where the amimators do a few hand done ones and the program dos the rest using those as a guide, only needing tweaks after.

Its a cost effective way to improve 2d animation and could possibly mean the return of it by usuing this technology.

[adobsonartworks]

I don’t think people understand how FAR 2D animation has come in recent years, because we never see it showcased in feature films anymore.

We have programs that can take vector AND raster lines, from two separate frames, and then auto in-between them.

We have programs that can simulate the look of additional hand drawn frames to make frame holds look more alive and authentic.

We have programs that simulate brush strokes and paint effects that can be manipulated and enhanced in real time.

We have programs that allow you to paint directly onto 3D objects, adjust them frame by frame, and simulate the look of 2D animation.

We’ve even got programs that can take an art style and apply it to an animation using algorithms and deep learning techniques.

Like… the tech is THERE. It EXISTS. All we need are companies to have faith in the products and people willing to tell good stories.

[forbiddnsky]

no offense but I actually hate the whole idea of “he’s a bitch to everyone else but sweet to me🤪” concept like..no.. I want a partner whos compassionate and respectful to others !! I want a partner who’s emotionally intelligent and is considerate of other people’s feelings !!

[pasdecoeur]

action movie directors really don’t understand that they could write the scariest, toughest, most badass line in movie history, and it still wouldn’t come close to the moment in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, when viscount mabrey of genovia said, “sir you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary!!” and joe didn’t even fucking blink before replying, “Perhaps… But it’s in your eyes.”

[jonbutter]

reblog this to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™

[jonbutter]

not enough people reblogged this last year we gotta really try this time to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™