gh0st

20 // he/him // diary thing i guess

[painfoxexe]

my manager just soft fired me (removed me from the schedule and is having me be ‘on call’) like man, my last day at work is in 20 days could you not just wait

[painfoxexe]

im unsure why people still bother following me as if i still post content. maybe i’ll come back here, i could share some of the recipes i used to live by, but now that i’ve reached my goal i havent been fighting the urge to eat. i still find myself losing weight but trying to get back up to 2,000+ calories is hard after only eating 800 or less. my relationship with food is still wonked and i find myself subconsciously counting calories, there’s that voice in the back of my head telling me i’ve already eaten too much, but i know that i havent. this was and always will be a vent account. so maybe its time i use it again.

that is…if my attention span allows me to

[painfoxexe]

i have been between 154-156lbs for nearly 2 months and i want to cry

[painfoxexe]

it’s taken me a year to lose 30lbs jesus christ…but hey im at 126lbs now

[dragonsjuicebox2]

pride icon for myself !!! happy pride gay people !!! i care u so big !!!!!

[weees-stuff]

reblog if you hate your thighs

[painfoxexe]

i desperately want to go back to losing, ive been practically stagnant for so long, but seriously restricting is just so hard...

[sweetcherryslim]

Keto Broccoli Bites - 43 kcal/2.9g protein

Servings: 30 bites - 43 kcal/2.9g protein per bite

3 cups lightly steamed and chopped broccoli

1 oz cream cheese, softened

1 1/2 cup cheddar

1/2 cup parmesan

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 eggs, beaten

2 tablespoons coconut flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

2. Steam the broccoli, chop lightly and remove the tough stems.

3. In a medium-size mixing bowl combine the cream cheese, cheese, spices and eggs. Stir in the broccoli.

4. Fold in the flour and baking powder.

5. Chill dough 10-15 minutes to allow the flour to absorb the moisture, DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP.

6. Spoon into a silicone mini muffin pan.

7. Bake 12-15 minutes.

[planningstillinprogress]

why go out to get boba tea & spend lord know how many calories when you can make it at home for 80 cal (and for just a few cents)?

I use a half serving (30 cal) of these boba from amazon, then use 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk (50 cal) and thai tea (you can use any kind of tea you want, black tea is another of my go-tos). Mix in some no-cal sweetener to taste and throw some ice in and congrats! you're in boba heaven.

[painfoxexe]

the holidays have ended officially

my reason for not restricting is gone and everything is worse now

[painfoxexe]

i’ve eaten too much today

[painfoxexe]

i have a strong want for a coach, i want that toxicity and for someone else to be in control. i know its bad so i haven’t like seriously looked for one but god doing this alone is boring and i like being told what to do

[painfoxexe]

i hate that i need to be online

[painfoxexe]

kill me

[painfoxexe]

i feel like a failure modding ed spaces too, like so many others are doing better than me so why do i get to be the one to enforce the rules ?? i dont get it i don’t understand, people are at a constant negative net cals while im in the 800’s yet they’re not in charge ??

[painfoxexe]

what would it take for someone to just punch me in the stomach as hard as they can and then pull my face back up to theirs by my hair ? to have them push me to the ground and hold my arms back by standing on them, lowering themselves onto my chest just so they can spit in my face ? is it really asking too much to want to have my head-shoved in a toilet and held there till i almost pas out ? am i really asking too much ???

[painfoxexe]

i want to be beaten bloody

[painfoxexe]

i have been between 154-156lbs for nearly 2 months and i want to cry