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@painlessmind
dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now
you start to see life differently when you realize you’re not a priority to anyone
i relapsed i fucking relapsed i was well over a year i think making it to two years and i fucking let myself relapse because i felt so lonely and its only just hit me what ive done and i feel so dirty why does trauma make you seek out the things that hurt you
am i even mentally ill or am i just living in some kind of infinite torture chamber that would make anyone like this
just because I understand the reasoning behind your actions, doesn't mean that I find your actions to be excusable
I am drained to the point where even my silence is violent
I don't want my life to be a perpetual load of trying to recover from something after something and someone after someone. I don't want recovery to be all that I am.
At some point, peace becomes more attractive than proving anything to anyone.