Palindrome Rain

round and round we go, all things are the same

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I'm rejecting the narrative where umbrella academy takes place in one of those Out of Time worlds because like. just THINK of the online freakout that would've happened when Vanya dropped her book. that would have been the That Bitch(tm) moment of the millennium. #ReginaldHargreevesIsOverParty would have been trending world wide. the DISCOURSE over her siblings actions that would have been started....and they're always going on about how she exposed family secrets but we don't even know what the secrets were! anyway here's some shitty memes I imagine would pop up on twitter after her book came out

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

these are terrible sorry

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

this will get worst with each post, that is a promise

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

why can't I stop skhdjdsmsj

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

sorry, truly

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

guess who's back with more

[sccfan4ever]

Vanya writing her book:

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

question do we think grace ever just...snaps?

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

someone just take my phone already

[sccfan4ever]

R*gin*ld's master plan

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

whoops I'm back yet again

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I'm bored so here's more I guess

[whenevilreigns-deactivated20230]

When you get past the shock of seeing Luther’s sheer size onscreen, the suit also contains subtle details like scar tissue, which hint at his rage and shame about his transformed body. “We figured, over time, that Luther would have tried to remove the skin, or patched it with other skin, but it didn’t work,” says Blackman. “He hates the way he looks, and he’s severely depressed about it,” Hopper adds. “In my head, there were times on the moon when Luther thought about ending it all, because he’s so torn up after the accident.”

Luther’s Ape Body & Scars (screen shots from S2) | (x) 

[number5theboy]

Luther: “Uh, can you tell us about this timeline, please?” Five: “Started making it. Had a breakdown. Bon appetit”

Checks out! Original from James Acaster’s disastrous stint on British Bake Off.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay now that they're officially back in the Current Day or whatever the only thing I straight up demand from season 3 is a plotline where Five for some reason gets stuck with actual school kids just acting normal and this old man is Lost and Confused while mcr's 'teenagers' plays...like they can do anything else they want next season I just Need to see this specific scenario lmao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

update I've decided he gets tipped off somehow that the next person to inadvertently start an apocalypse is in this one school but he doesn't know Who and since none of his siblings are qualified to pretend to be teachers he has to go undercover. the kids around him are wildly exaggerated gen z stereotypes. some bullies pick a fight with him and he's cocky as hell and then Realizes he can't use his powers, which he's used to heavily relying on in fights, and that's when 'teenagers' starts blasting

like midway through the season we find out there's no one there who can cause a doomsday, the anonymous tip-off was a prank by Klaus and Diego lmao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Five somehow ends up at a party and after like half an hour he's calling Allison like "I need you to come pick me up everyone is doing synchronized dances and there isn't even any alcohol"

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Normal Kid who’s been assigned to be Five’s lab partner, trying to make some friendly conversation: dude let me show you this pic of one of my mom’s old action figures, I swear it looks exactly like you ahaha how weird right?

Five, smiling politely while whipping out a fork and holding it to the kids jugular: if you want your mom to live you’re gonna shut the fuck up right now 

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Stereotypical Asthmatic Nerd Caricature, taping up his glasses, covered in mud and holding up a ripped book: God Brad is the worst! I wish he'd leave me alone :(

Five, who already begrudgingly adopted this nerd, mentally coming up with six different revenge plans: you want me to kill him for you?

Nerd: lmao yeah that'd be great

Five, pulling a machete out of his backpack: alright this won't take long, maybe head in the other direction so you aren't held accountable-

Nerd: FUCK WAIT-

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Five: you think I wouldn’t figure out your identity, huh? that I wouldn’t notice you sneaking out of class at random times, missing from assembly’s? my sources had never even heard of you before- so tell me, before I swallow your thorax- what’s your plan here? how do you mean to cause the apocalypse? who do you work for? how would you prefer to die?

Random Kid who’s Just The School Mascot and needs to be changed and on the game bus in like three minutes: 👁👄👁

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Klaus discovers a whole genre of tiktoks that are just students filming Five acting. so goddamn weird.

there's one where he pulls an entire coffee maker out of his backpack and starts making a pot while everyone else is trying to take a test.

multiple ones of Five getting into heated arguments with the history teacher about how inaccurate his class is. he forgets to not talk in first person when he's correcting the teacher so he's like 'no I was the one who burned the Library of Alexandria' 'listen, Franz Ferdinand was a jackass' 'I didn't leave survivors, that woman claiming to be Anastasia was a fraud'

video of him getting yelled at by the principal, and when asked if he has anything to say about his actions, Five opens with 'Listen, young man-'

one of him hanging out with a group of kids and when one makes a joke, instead of laughing he says 'Lol' out loud, but in a very slow and deliberate way that makes him sound like a robot

one of Five lounging at a marching band practice, wearing sunglasses and drinking a huge frozen margarita, captioned 'someone PLEASE come get this 10 year old'

one of him completely taking over the board in the math class room, frantically writing complex equations like his life depends on it, and then the video pans over to the very confused math teacher who's like 'kid I just asked you to solve 30 times 6' to which Five responds by yelling for him to shut up

one that's a compilation of him looking offended every time he's handed a test or a worksheet. every single frame ends up becoming reaction memes

one of him chugging an entire Trenta of coffee without a single break, before crushing the cup and kicking a locker so hard his foot goes through the metal door

multiple ones of him trying to sneak around the school with the '~Don't Be Suspicious~' audio playing

so many more...the rest of the family make a whole day of watching them and laughing while Five is stuck in In School Suspension lmao

[disco-tea]

(Source)

[palindrome-rain]

Okay but can we please get adults who actually treat five like a teenager, and very blatantly don’t believe him when he says he’s an adult, like any even remotely sane or semi-normal person would. I just desperately want everyone in the sparrow academy to look at this exauhsted feral child and go ‘why is this baby here? Who’s baby is this??????’

[theumbrellaamattemy]

[palindrome-rain]

Where do we currently stand on Christopher’s ability to communicate? Do you think there’s going to be a voice actor narrating thoughts Christopher is projecting? Personally I’m a fan of a scooby doo situation, like how the gang are the only people who can seemingly understand scooby, Christopher just emits low ominous vibrations and the sparrow academy is just like “Oh that’s a good idea thanks Chris” and the umbrella academy is just confused “that floating dread cube is not speaking, are you hearing things? Is your brain okay?????” And they’re all like “don’t talk about my sibling like that, wtf is wrong with you?”

[palindrome-rain]

The love of fives life was a dismembered lifeless mannequin. 50 bucks says his best friend will be the dread inducing cube.

[palindrome-rain]

Okay but can we please get adults who actually treat five like a teenager, and very blatantly don’t believe him when he says he’s an adult, like any even remotely sane or semi-normal person would. I just desperately want everyone in the sparrow academy to look at this exauhsted feral child and go ‘why is this baby here? Who’s baby is this??????’

[endlesschaoticenergy]

I don’t know whether it fills me with laughter or pain that a cube got a name but Five didn’t

[homosexualshouto]

oh my fucking god

the fucking cube got a goddamn name

are they ever going to explain why five didn’t get one??

[palindrome-rain]

Well actually he sort of did. Or maybe didn’t. According to Gerard way five was going to be named Adam but he hated it so much he made everybody keep calling him five. According to Netflix Grace helped the kids pick their own names out of names popular from their place of birth and five disappeared before he could decide.

[i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor]

Season 3 is all fun and games until one of the Sparrows’ powers is shapeshifting and they shift to look like one of the Umbrellas and Five doesn’t know who to shoot

[ford-ye-fiji]

don’t give them any ideas op!!!! 

[lydia-is-tired-deactivated20220]

Do you think Five wears that same uniform for two seasons straight because he’s used to wearing things until they wear out in the apocalypse? I understand the end of the worlds coming but it’s been so long it must stink!

Maybe it’s another social cue he missed in the apocalypse so it’s less instinct and he just doesn’t realise so his siblings will have to convince him to get something new.

[palindrome-rain]

In the scene where he first gets home and has to change out of his too big black suit in his room we see his closet is filled with uniforms. So at least for season 1 he could be wearing different sets but as for season 2 he definitly just didn’t think about it at all.

[winter-came]

-grandson

"You think I had it easy?"

[elysean]

[five-fucking-hargreeves]

AU where the Handler abused her briefcase when training Five, and whenever he started acting out of hand, she sent him right back to the apocalypse for a cruel 'time out', leaving him for an indiscernible amount of hours, days, or even weeks at a time... until Five honestly dreaded a day when they'd leave him there for good.

[viktorhargreeves07]

give five this backpack in season 3

[bieddiediaz]

the umbrella academy 2x01 / umbrella academy: dallas #6

[upside-down-umbrellas]

[palindrome-rain]

For anyone curious, in the comics the commission needed to kill JFK to prevent nuclear war. They recruited the current time five (the one stuck in his younger body) because his past self (before returning home) dipped on the mission before completing it. They got current five to do it because the commission threatened to kill his mother before he was born. They got Allison to agree to help because five and Luther are actually twins so Luther would desse to exist as well (the siblings DO NOT care about each other in the comics as much as they do in the show so she only agreed cause she has feeling for luther. Or maybe because she feels guilty because in the comics the only ‘romantic thing’ they had was when she rumored Luther into kissing her). Anyway that’s how Allison gets her voice back after vanta slices her throat, the commission fixes her so she can do this.