[palindromeparadox]

might fuck around and make some sideblogs

[palindromeparadox]

the sideblogs have been made!

for Locked Tomb stuff: @daughter-of-jod

for Dimension 20 stuff: @blanket-burrito-riz

other fandom stuff and anything else i like will still be here

Edit: changed my url. main is now @palindromeparadox

[bunnygirljesus]

Black ppl deserve to feel safe and welcomed on the internet, on fandoms on whatever community or hobbies they want without having to deal with antiblack racist attacks, microaggressions or enablers of antiblackness . And if u genuinely consider urself to be left leaning or an ally or woke you should do and try to unlearn the colorism, texturism , eurocentrism and antiblackness

[tartrazeen]

We also deserve to tell our alleged allies when they've fucked up without having to coddle their feelings, 'cause, "Oh but we've been friends for so long!" doesn't immunize you against doing and saying stupid shit.

Surprise - if you're heartbroken or scared that I pointed out you fucked up, like that shouldn't have been possible, and now you're too nervous to interact with me anymore, that means you only ever saw me as a token friend of yours anyway. (which is racist btw)

[kaidohmaru]

I often recall chapter 7 of 'We'll take a train under the river' by @camwolfe

My brain hyperfixated on a snippet of the chapter to be drawn, so this is what was created.

In case someone hasn't had the pleasure of reading this wonderful fic I've hidden the drawn spoiler. ☺️

[fluffehwuffeh]

kiss me tender, kiss me slow

[taxidermycanine]

sniffs you sniffs you sniffs you sniffs you sniffs you sniffs you sniffs you licks you sniffs you

[thombalan]

Follow my artist’s journal on Patreon for free. 💙

Link in bio. ☝️

[linaisbluepancake]

No monster's gonna get you when I'm here...

[nogaph]

If you feel like it, can you draw them in an action scene? Like ‘play fighting’ each other with swords or something? 🤩

They’re… doing a workout?

Dude I swear I tried to make it an action scene, but maybe it’ll lead to some other action?👀

[neiljostenpussyindulgence]

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

[antseart]

New sketch

[explosionshark]

Hi! So I'm not saying that everyone can't have their own HC, I respect that. But I saw some posts saying Vi had lovers during her pitfighter area. Once again people can have their HC but I think the plot could not be more obvious when it comes to show us how much isolated Vi was during this period of time. Besides when they fuck Caitlyn reveal to her that she saw someone. If it was the case for Vi I think she would have respect Caitlyn enough to tell her too if she had lovers. I mean that's how they work. Vi already was not very honest to her when they fought prior to the sex scene and kind of lied to her but I think now after Caitlyn was honest in this moment I think Vi would have told her too

yeah look the whole montage here is really deliberate imo

like - it would have been SO easy to include a scene of vi going home with someone, or waking up next to some girl, but they didn't! because, as you point out, this is all about vi's self-isolation. i don't think she was fucking anyone here, I don't think she wanted to be close to anyone else, not even for a night. loris is the only person we see who is there for her during this period and by the end of the montage she even manages to push him away

tbh i really enjoy the characterization here. i love the contrast between how vi and caitlyn deal with the same period in their lives bc it's so illustrative of their characters. caitlyn seeks distraction, she obsessively chases down goals, throws herself into her role, and seeks out sex, comfort and stress relief from someone she knows won't meaningfully challenge her in a dynamic where she perceives herself as being in control.

vi shuts down. she isolates. she puts herself in a position where she can hurt other people and absorb heaps of punishment nightly and spends the rest of the time she's not fighting or sleeping getting blackout drunk to cope. she has no overarching goals, she's living moment to moment, and she ISN'T seeking out any connection or comfort. vi yearns for caitlyn so badly she hallucinates her. and she doesn't let anyone get close to her.

it makes a lot of sense to me! what we see from vi over and over again is that she has a small circle but she loves the people she chooses so deeply. when she's hurt by them, or feels she's failed them somehow, she doesn't get over it - i don't think that changes even when she's justifiably angry with them, as is the case with both jinx and caitlyn in act 2.

people can HC whatever obviously and i think an AU interpretation of vi is entitled to be really different but tbh I just don't really see the canon version of Vi as someone who would be inclined to seek out hookups either. i don't think that's what her relationship to sex is like. i mean, she was pretty young when she went to prison. i feel like vi probably had some sexual experiences in Stillwater, but i don't think they were particularly fulfilling or numerous. everything we know about the environment there and vi's strategy of isolating herself suggests she was not some huge prison yard player. again, she went down when she was like fifteen or something - i cannot imagine a worse or more oppressive environment for sexual exploration.

so - yeah, I'm with you. i don't think vi was hooking up with anyone during her pit fighter era. i think she was too busy reopening the wound over Caitlyn, getting fucked up, and having the shit beaten out of her. honestly, given the way we see vi deal with guilt when she's in conflict with someone she loves, I'd go so far as to say she might even have still felt a loyalty and a yearning for Caitlyn that made the idea of being with anyone else repulsive to her

because underneath the leather and the emo dye job and the black makeup, vi is a deeply sensitive, intensely loyal and tender-hearted softie that doesn't know how to let go of anyone she's ever loved. that duality in her (the fighter vs the vulnerable sweetheart) is such a large part of what makes her compelling to me

luckily for everyone, I'm sure Vi and Cait get to go at it like rabbits after the war (y'know, after the grievous injuries heal up enough for them to do that)

[explosionshark]

Do you think Caitlyn ever thought of Vi during that period?

oh, of course. i think vi absolutely haunted her. maybe not as literally as Caitlyn haunted Vi but y'know

i think it was very fraught for Caitlyn. i think she took great pains to NOT think about vi and was very frustrated when all that effort was inevitably wasted.

cait's coping mechanism might not be as obviously self-harming as vi's but i do think she was being destructive with herself. she was working herself HARD. she was bathing in her grief. i really think a lot of what Caitlyn did to cope and fuel herself through her tenure as commander was a lot of mentally gnawing on herself to keep the pain and anger fresh, because she needed that fuel. she never really seemed to get a taste for cruelty and brutality, as much as she was willing (sometimes even eager) to indulge those things when she thought it would accomplish one of her goals

but like - being in Zaun? she'd be trying so hard to see Jinx in the face of everyone down there, but you know she thought about vi more often than she wanted to. she probably resented vi and yearned for her in equal measure, then hated herself for pushing vi away, then hated herself for still wanting vi and then at some point in that cycle she probably went to go spar or fuck maddie or stare at her murder board for a distraction

also like - she definitely thought about vi in bed. I'm sure she felt frustrated and/or guilty about it, but you know sometimes she probably gave in and closed her eyes and let her mind wander so she could get off and be done with it

but i think she thought about vi in quieter, more painful moments too. a pang in her chest as she crosses the bridge with a squad of enforcers and walks past the place they clung to each other so desperately before it all went wrong. i think it was an incredibly lonely time for Caitlyn and probably the only people she woke up in the night wishing desperately she could go see and talk to were her mother and, frustratingly, devastatingly Vi

[explosionshark]

The good thing that took you seven months to answer that ask is that at least it’s been seven months since some people were saying that Vi had lovers at that time lol but your answer is great but you know that some fans like the idea that Vi was sleeping around not because it’s just a hc and it makes sense to her character but because they HATED that they chose to show Caitlyn sleeping with Maddie and Vi only hallucinating Cait like it’s truly one of the many reasons why they need Cait to “pay”

i do think some ppl project a certain type of masculine archetype that's (to me) at odds with the depth and complexity of her character in canon and it bums me out mostly bc canon vi is sooooo cool and interesting and forcing her to fit a different mold seems like such a boring choice to me! and i agree that there are definitely some fans who seem to kind of resent the fact that other characters (caitlyn in this case) had roles or storylines that they hoped to see for vi instead

i was SHOCKED when maddie showed up in bed with Caitlyn! scandalized in the best way! to me it's such a great move, even before the reveal of Maddie's true role it says so much about where Caitlyn is at that moment

obviously accepting the mantle of the commander and leading a crackdown on zaun is a huge erosion of caitlyn's moral position - nearly a 180 from where she starts as a bright-eyed only barely traumatized idealist in s1. she goes from loudly advocating against an Incursion into zaun at the end of the season, to being the face of the war in s2. that's loud and blunt and obvious and it rules, of course. but i think cait's relationship with maddie adds SO much delicious depth to it all

Maddie's a subordinate. caitlyn is her BOSS. it's kind of impossible to imagine the caitlyn of s1 even contemplating a relationship like that, where the power disparity and (perceived lmao) experience gap is so pronounced. Maddie is honestly the perfect choice for an attempted rebound because she's SO different from Vi.

so much of what attracts Caitlyn to Vi is that Vi doesn't give a fuck about Caitlyn being a Kiramman. when they meet, vi gets to know her just as caitlyn, as a person trying her best to do something good. whatever vi feels for her, Caitlyn can trust there's no ulterior motive or outside influence at play. that's extra true because vi doesn't need to impress her at all. she's blunt as hell and mostly very honest and straightforward (early attempts at ditching Caitlyn aside) and she absolutely does not stand on ceremony. Caitlyn trusts Vi. She trusts Vi's good heart. i think she kind of counts on that to help guide her

which of course doesn't work out because vi's good (and battered) heart beats in opposition to caitlyn's drive for vengeance at all costs.

therefore, maddie as the anti-vi has a perfectly crafted persona to bait caitlyn. she objects to the brutality just enough to not make caitlyn suspicious, but she never pushes hard enough to actually challenge Caitlyn. she's not close enough to Caitlyn, doesn't mean enough to her, to make it painful to betray or dismiss her. i think Caitlyn was kind to Maddie, if distant. but i do think it was an intentional choice to be with someone who would do what she wanted, tell her what she wanted to hear, let Caitlyn lead without pushback. someone she didn't have to see as an equal

which is what makes Maddie's true role even more satisfying imo. there's a sick karmic angle here. if that relationship is a symbol of caitlyn's moral erosion, a selfish indulgence that she's not particularly proud of, then the fact that it ends in such a brutal betrayal for her is the perfect twist of the knife

also lbr maddie is frankly funny as hell for all that. like, I don't condone it, but - oohhh remember when Caitlyn dismissed her from the room so she could have a private argument with her ex that she just started a war for??? all the times she pulled away when they were done fucking? the way she clearly didn't take any of Maddie's (admittedly falsely presented) suggestions seriously? Maddie might have known she was playing Cait the whole time but CAIT didn't know

"i did appreciate your warmth" is CRAZYYYYY. I'm always thinking about what a good line that is. it's a dig, of course, at cait's obvious coldness and distance during their relationship but it's ALSO a brag. noxian spy for "thanks for fucking me crazystyle" right before putting a bullet in her skull. or well. trying to.

sorry this got way off topic i just wanted to talk about the maddie stuff because i think it's so fucking good

[wnwnmemo]

[explosionshark]

Caitlyn hitting Vi with the "what about us? 🥺" less than 48hrs into this situationship is so real though

[explosionshark]

"the timeline throws me for a loop" "this happened way too fast" NO!!! I SAID WHAT I SAID

You're an early twenties lesbian who breaks a cute butch dyke out of prison - she's got broad shoulders, huge biceps, big wet puppydog eyes, a fat ass and a good heart. You spend two days tromping around the Undercity with her breathing in each other's fuckin pheromones and shit while she challenges your notions about the way the world works. You watch her go to town on a bowl of slop and then she flirts with you hardcore outside of a brothel after asking if you were into girls. You ALREADY KNOW what her moans sound like because that time she got gut-stabbed and you had to give her The Serum. She saved your life and carried you across a bridge when you got hurt and then you took her home and she laid on your bed with you and told you about the deep well of pain inside her and held your hand.

TWO DAYS??? AT LIKE 23 YEARS OLD? I would have been ready to sign a lease. Some of you are LYING about the fact that you wouldn't be ready to throw it all away after one "you're hot, cupcake" let alone TWO DAYS of all that

[explosionshark]

[saloshmat]

Chillin at the bar after work

[dexi-draws]

Another Vi ❤️‍🩹