S A V E M E — if i become my D E M O N S

[amphoteros-achieved-deactivated]

second chances.

[palmertechs-blog]

ANNA:

     6:16 a.m. | The feeling of vomitting is what have WOKEN Anna up earlier than usual. Earlier than Ray. Although, Anna wonders if he will sleep in today considering the time he came back home aslo he had a troubled sleep. She could feel him trashing around all night. She is worried but other things have priority now., like vomiting the whatever had been left in her stomach over the toilet. After she is done, Anna drags herself to the sink. The cold water AGAINST her skin makes her feel good.      She considers for a minute if it’s time for her to take the test now. Ray is asleep. It’s still too early for him to wake up. No one will know, only her. For now. THIS WASN’T something she could hide from him or something she  w a n t e d  to hide at all. She knew he will be thrilled. With her mind made up, she pulls the test out of her make up bag. She is amazed that her very observent boyfriend hasn’t see it yet. WRONG. He wasn’t her boyfriend anymore, but her fiance. A month now and she still couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She smiles. She takes the test. She waits five minutes. She checks the test again. She wants to SCREAM when she sees the result, two pink lines. This means life. This changes her life forever; for the better.             After cleaning her hands and brushing her teeth she starts getting ready with a huge smile on her face. Her make up is MINIMAL and  s i m p l e. Red gloss instead of lipstick. She puts her red long hair up into a tight pony tail and walks back into the bedroom. Ray is swallowed under all the pillows and fluffy quilt. His black hair coming in CONTRAST with the white line.  She smiles, wishing, HOPING her child, their child, will take his hair. Her view is blocked by the closet’s door and she goes back to getting ready. She puts on a red sleeveless shirt and black high waisted shorts. The shoes will come later. She is putting her gold earrings on, a gift from Ray, when she comes back into the bedroom. She climbs into bed and KNEELS BESIDE him. She leans down and presses a kiss on his lips while caressing his chest with her hand waiting for him to open his beautiful blue eyes.

SLEEP is such a fleeting thing. Time seems to pass by out of order these days and keeping track of it is far too much a HASSLE. Ray can’t be sure how long he’s been asleep or what time it is upon waking up, the movement heard around the room is enough to ROUSE him back into the reality he’s in. Senses begin to function slowly, barely aware of his surroundings as all he wants to do is go back to sleep. His breathing is slow, a gentle HUM from the back of his throat the first sign he’s at least half awake.

Lips on his own EXPEDITE the waking up process and his eyes open far too quickly, pulse racing in a moment of panic. ( This isn’t normal. This can’t be the real world. He doesn’t know where he’s waking up, but he wants to go back to sleep. ) INSTINCT influences him to push her away and it isn’t until he’s up on his feet looking panicked that he notices IT’S ANNA. His heart drops into his stomach and the world stops spinning just for him. Time itself stands still. He knows they haven’t ended their mission; doesn’t remember a conversation saying they’re going home and CERTAINLY wouldn’t choose to go home here. To this time. Not because he doesn’t LOVE her, but because he can’t save her and the pain is too much.

Ray clears his throat, keeping his distance. Whatever DREAM this is, he’s ready to wake up. ( But then, it feels so real. Perhaps this is something like the Dominators all over again. Despite his best efforts, he can’t remember where he was the night before. ) He’s unable to voice any of his thoughts. Surely, he’s going crazy. He needs to find a way to contact the team. “ANNA,” he finally breathes. She’s everything he remembers. Young, beautiful, full of life. Very much the woman he loves and yet he can’t let himself believe this is the REAL WORLD. The real world is heartless and bad things happen and she isn’t in it. “Wha--what... TIME is it?” ( Smooth, Raymond. Smooth. )

[amphoteros-achieved-deactivated]

Anna Loring has the kind of booty Ray Palmer can’t resist.

[palmertechs-blog]

ofcoldguns:

[ 📲 • sms ] —— Good. [ 📲 • sms ] —— I’m going to hold you to that. [ 📲 • sms ] —— I’m about to pull up.

Len sighed and put his phone back into his pocket just as the light turned green. He drove forward, making sure to keep an eye on the sidewalk for the drunk man. He pulled over as soon as his eyes landed on Ray. “Need a ride?” he called out to him.

He doesn’t answer the texts. Doesn’t have the DEXTERITY in his fingers to type out another reply. Face LIGHTS up as he sees Len, stumbles over to the car with as much poise as possible, given the circumstances. “Hey, babe! Wow, you got here fast. Have I told you that you’re, like, really handsome?”

[palmertechs-blog]

amphoteros:

                  Seeing Ray pouting is an adorable sight. She wants to pitch        his cheeks badly. She holds herself back though because what Ray        is say sounds much more important. Anna loves it when he mumbles        like this. He always says more than he wants when he does it. She        smiles widely at his words. That’s what she wanted to hear but her        heart skips a bit or two, or THREE. 

                       “ You? Are you saying what I think you are SAYING Ray?”        she raises her hands and wraps them across her chest. Her thumb        finds its way on her mouth and starts biting on her nail. It’s a nervous        bad hobit she picked up over the years. Behind her hand though is        hiding a smile. “ Maybe that sometime can be TONIGHT?” She is        going all out with this, something that isn’t in her character but being        with Ray feels more important. Although she blushes at her forwardness.

It’s the least attractive way he can POSSIBLY ask her out. Ray acknowledges that green is NOT a color he wears well, though he’s sure the red on his cheeks is much more noticeable in the moment. The HOLD she has on him is without explanation and yet he doesn’t mind. He wants her and his FLUSHED cheeks only give him away.

“Well, I don’t know. I guess that depends on what you THINK I’m saying. If you think that I’m trying to ask you out, then, I mean, yeah, we’re on the same page, but—” Her words cut his rambling SHORT. A moment’s pause gives way for a blink in surprise and for a moment he forgets how to BREATHE. “You — tonight? I — yes. Absolutely. I’d love to take you out tonight. Are — you’re SURE?”

[palmertechs-blog]

amphoteros:

( @palmertechs ) | cont x.

                Looking at Ray now Anna can barely fight her smile at his words.         She CAN see that he is jealous which is a fact that should S C A R E         her but it’s Ray she is talking about and she felt nothing but safe and         secure in his presence. She gives up on fighting the smile and steps         closer to Ray, a teasing smirk playing on her full lips.  “Why shouldn’t I         be? I’m a single girl Ray, I can go out with people.”                   For all the years they have been friends none of the have acted          upon their feelings. Anna knew she had lot of feelings for Ray and it         scared her a lot at first for various of reason but now. She just had to         get Ray admin his feelings for her. If he had any. She thinks he has and         that’s a start.

He’s POUTING, not that he means to. It’s true, she’s single. And attractive. He’s single and attracted to her. This is something beyond friendship and wanting her to be with him is selfish and stupid and he feels bad for being envious of any guy who gets to take her places but it should be HIM. Ray knows it and he just wants Anna to see it, too.

She steps closer and he can swear his heart stops beating for a minute. How she has that effect on him, he’ll never know. As a man of science, it can easily be put into terms of chemistry, but he isn’t exactly thinking from a scientist’s point of view when he looks at her. “I mean, of course you can go out with people. And you should! I just think you should consider going out with... different people. Maybe, sometime, even... ME.”

[palmertechs-blog]

“Why do you always call me when I’m on a date?” ( from Anna )

→ @amphoteros

“Maybe because you’re on dates with people and you shouldn’t be.” Is he JEALOUS? Well, yes. The entire time Ray has known Anna, one thing he’s been sure of is that they’re meant to be and he hasn’t given up on that idea. He isn’t sure he ever will. Anna Loring is far too precious an asset to give up on and he isn’t ready to wave the white flag, so to speak.

[palmertechs-blog]

im-a-hawker:

She had considered stepping down. Wondering if he was going to let her keep her job and why he would besides the fact that she had felt like she did a really good job at it. She would step down if it meant making things easier for him especially since this was her fault. If all he wanted was time though… she could give him that. “Alright- but if you change your mind could you at least give me time to get another job? The pay cut I’ll get might hurt my pockets a little bit.” She tried to tease about it, to lighten the tension between them as she said it. 

Ray shakes his head softly, the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. He loves her. That much is obvious, if him saying so hadn’t been enough of an indicator. There is no changing his mind. She is the only person he trusts to control so much of his company. Her breaking up with him stings, but certainly isn’t worth ruining her career over. No, he cares about her too much to let something like this impede on the sanctuary of his company. “I won’t change my mind,” he says, and it’s a promise. “The job is yours. I don’t trust anyone else to do what you do.”

[palmertechs-blog]

im-a-hawker:

A while back Felicity would have easily related to what he said. How this was home and how they should be here and fight to be here, but now…now she just smiled and nodded at him as she tried to understand how he could want to be here in this craziness. The craziness that she seemed to never be able to get out of. “Then here you’ll be. With me- us… everyone.” She said quickly. “The team will be glad to have you if you want to help still too, or you can sit back here with me at the computers. It’s pretty fun around here too.” 

Smiling is easy around her, even in the most difficult of situations. It’s one of the many reasons he loves her. She is truly one of the best, most honest people he knows and she doesn’t give him any choice but to love her. Every day, more and more. Even with as much as he wanted Anna to be the last woman he loved, he’s okay with allowing Felicity the role she plays in his life. “I think I need to focus on me for a little bit.” Doing so is something he’s never really done. “I’ll be able to help when you need me, of course, but I just don’t think I really need to be out there every night like Oliver is. Besides, it seems he just got a new team and I’d hate to ruin the dynamic.”

[palmertechs-blog]

ramondelamancha:

“Right, yeah. I forgot about that.” The last time he had been to a wedding was Caitlin and Ronnie’s, and that hadn’t exactly been very formal. “I’m probably gonna ask Neva.” There was no one who he wanted there more than his sister. “Who’re you telling?” 

It’s his suggestion, and yet he pauses. The who is important. With something so small, it needs to be someone significant. Someone he trusts. And, really, it’s almost sad how Cisco immediately chooses his sister and yet Ray knows inviting his brother isn’t an option. “Besides you, the person I trust most is Felicity.”

[palmertechs-blog]

ramondelamancha:

He put a hand on his boyfriend’s arm to support him as they started towards the bed. The last thing they needed was for Ray to fall when Cisco knew he wouldn’t be able to help him up. “Do you want me to?” He was never one to say no to some cuddling.

Ray can’t help but chuckle at the question. The answer is easy: yes. He loves any time he gets to spend with his boyfriend, asleep or otherwise. “I’d love for you to come.” Besides, if he’s alone he’s liable to nap for an hour or two and then wake back up like he isn’t exhausted to the point of collapsing.

[palmertechs-blog]

ramondelamancha:

“I could use about a year’s worth of days off.” The longer they did this, working as heroes, the more it was wearing down on him. He loved it, there was no way that he would give this life up, but that didn’t make it any less exhausting. Ray was a nice distraction from all of that. “Well you’re always welcome in Central City.” 

They could all use some time off. The job they do is exhausting. Rewarding, of course, but the positives don’t outweigh how tiring it is. Not that Ray was ever used to sleeping in the first place. Inventing doesn’t leave much time for mundane accommodations like that. “I could always stay here and work from home for a week or two.”

[palmertechs-blog]

ramondelamancha:

“Hey. You’re never a liability.” Cisco didn’t know anyone who was more of a hero than Ray. It made sense to him that Ray, out of all the people they knew, was the one who would go on to become a legend in the future. That was just who he was. “They need your tech, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t need you, too. You’re more than a suit, Ray.” If Ray really didn’t want to go, he wasn’t about to force him, but he couldn’t help feeling that this would be good for him. “I just want you to pick what’s best for you, okay?”

While Ray hears Cisco’s words, believing them isn’t that easy. The sad fact about it all is that he wants to go. Time travel is everything he’s ever dreamed about and his entire life he’d assumed he would say yes the moment the offer was on the table. Now, he just isn’t sure enough of himself to make the decision alone. “Oliver and his team could have been hurt because they had to invade Darhk’s hideout to rescue me. I got myself into that situation and I... couldn’t get out.” Not that it’s entirely his fault. Felicity had told him once before that if he didn’t sleep he’d blow himself up and, well, it looks like she’d been right. “What if what’s best for me is going? I don’t know if... if I’m ready to leave you like that.”

[palmertechs-blog]

im-a-hawker:

For the second time in their entire time of knowing each other Felicity felt like the wind was knocked out of her with those three- well now four words since he added that still in there and all she could do was stare at him with wide eyes and parted lips in surprise. Oh god- she was doing it again too– staring at him like a deer in headlights without saying anything. Only this time her problem wasn’t if she loved him or not… a part of her always did but her problem was her little fear of those words. She had already thrown them around so many times and gotten hurt by doing so. She didn’t want to do that again and not be sure that it would stick. “I-…” God she talked all the time why couldn’t she get anything out right now. “I don’t really feel much like a hero right now-” That was not the right thing to say. “Ray-” 

Felicity not saying she loves him isn’t anything out of the ordinary. He remembers the first time he said he loves her. In the hospital. She replied with jello. Her reaction doesn’t surprise him and he isn’t upset. No, this time his own words weren’t spoken looking for reciprocation, for confirmation, but to let her know. Because he needed to say them. Because he does still love her. “It’s okay, Felicity. You don’t have to say it back. And you are a hero. To me, you are. And to a lot of other people who... well, they may not exactly know the role you play in Oliver’s crusade, but I do. What you do is important. YOU help save lives all the time and I’m honored to call you my friend.”

[palmertechs-blog]

ofcoldguns:

Len had found it extremely odd that he hadn’t heard or seen Ray in a few days. He had assumed that it was because of something he had did. He had spent the better part of the few days wracking his brain trying to think of what he might have done to offend the man and coming up with nothing. He’d actually come to care for the man, which surprised him because he wasn’t one to care for others easily. There had been a few times when he had been tempted to knock on his door when he had passed on his way to his own place but decided against it, thinking that if Ray wanted to talk he would let him know.

His attention snapped up from the book he had been reading when he hear the knock on the door but didn’t rise from the couch and turned his attention back to his book. After all, he didn’t have any idea who was on the other side of the door. He knew it wasn’t Lisa, she never knocked, she would just let herself into his apartment with the key that he had given her when he moved in. He figured whoever it was was someone who had gotten the wrong apartment number from one of his neighbors until he heard the man speak from the other side. Placing a bookmark between the pages, he set the book on his coffee table and stood, making his way to the door and unhitching the lock before swinging the door open. His eyes taking in everything about the man from the expression on his face to the food in his hands.

“What are you doing here, Ray?”

Seeing Leonard only makes the coming conversation more real and Ray suddenly isn’t sure he’s ready for that. Ready to face his feelings for the other man and yet he’s there and the door is open and it’s too late to turn back. One blink and his heart skips a beat at the question. (Is Leonard mad at him? Ray can’t blame him. Not speaking to your partner for a few days is generally frowned upon.) He swallows hard, instinctively holding out the food in his hands as if that answers the question. As if it offers any explanation as to his sporadic behavior this week. As if it explains why he can’t pretend anymore.

“Dinner. I thought... I mean, I know I haven’t been... here much lately. I’m... sorry.” A pause and he looks to the ground, tongue in cheek as he mulls over his options before slowly looking back to his... Leonard. “Let me start over. I was hoping you had time for a date. For dinner! A dinner... date. With me. If you’re... not upset that I haven’t called you in a few days. I’ve been... I don’t know. Confused.” And now he’s rambling. “And I don’t want you to think I’ve been avoiding you because that’s not it. I like you. And I’m hungry, so if you’re hungry... Let’s eat?”

[palmertechs-blog]

ofcoldguns:

[ 📲 • sms ] —— Don’t get too used to this. [ 📲 • sms ] —— You can sneeze that’s fine. [ 📲 • sms ] —— If you can find a place to sit without hurting yourself then do that [ 📲 • sms ] —— I’ll be there soon enough. [ 📲 • sms ] —— I’m just around the corner.

[ 📲 • sms ] —— i won’t. promise. [ 📲 • sms ] —— but i totally owe you one [ 📲 • sms ] —— i can buy you dinner tomorrow [ 📲 • sms ] —— you like dinner, right? [ 📲 • sms ] —— i miss you [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’ll miss you [ 📲 • sms ] —— i missed you [ 📲 • sms ] —— is that you??

[palmertechs-blog]

🌀

send 🌀 for my muse’s reaction to getting stuck in a storm with yours. → @snowtist

Being the ATOM, the short amount of time he has been, is already a positive thing in Ray’s life. Knowing he can help people is a weight off his shoulders. No longer is he defenseless or weak and that’s a great feeling. Central City is warm as ever in regards to the people there. Friends who have welcomed him into their home where they can work together. Be together like a family. The weather is less warm. Raindrops hit the ground in loud, rhythmic beats as thunder crashes and lightning snaps every few moments. If he didn’t know any better, he’d call it tornado weather. Still, he gently rubs his hands together as he stares out the STAR Labs window. “I can’t exactly fly home in this.” As if that isn’t obvious enough. “You guys don’t mind me staying here until the storm passes, do you?”

[palmertechs-blog]

Im cryibg your ray is so pure

i had to see this on my activity page bc tumblr didn’t notify me there was anything in my inbox?? but thank you, omg. i love ray a lot & i can’t express how much this means to me, especially right now. thank you so much for the kind words.