Doubt
Hiyori’s POV
“He’s an idiot for leaving you here.”
No, he’s not! It’s has been little more than two hours plus the longest bubble bath in history yet I still haven’t quite gotten over a comment I should easily ignore from a client I despise enough to ask for a switch in project so I shall no longer see him again.
Five good months pass by peacefully or let’s say as peaceful as Maiya and Shun could manage now that he’s the rising star across Asia with a hot doctor girlfriend. The healing process for Hiro turns out shorter than expected, whist I spend half my week at home and half at his to babysit and being spoiled during the honeymoon phase of a new relationship that doesn’t last.
Convincing Hiro to withdraw the request of transfer and hours cut isn’t hard, he loves his job and I do not want to be the person who stands in the way so I shouldn’t be upset when a client comment about our decision of having Hiro aboard and maintain this long distance relationship. He’s out there saving lives, doing good and creating a better world. I would have done the same if someone offers me a job that would not only advance my career but also self growth and exploration along with helping others. I would not turn it down for a guy no matter how much I love him… would I?
Quit the negativity and insecurity already, Hiyori! Don’t be a drag, Hiro is off to another side of the world knowing that we could do this, he has faith in us. And even he may meet fellow doctors on the field who would be just as smart, passionate and incredibly attractive, he would not waver, not even for a little.
Blanket pull over my head with a twist and turn, it’s a scroll through my phone and battle between texting my boyfriend or going to bed. Instead a text from another man I have not heard or seen in months is now flashing on my screen.
Haru Yamashita’s POV
The glowing blue light cast a rather dull and pathetic reflection from my window as I stare blankly at the screen, waiting for a reply after those blue ticks. The curse of knowing your message is read yet to be replied to is just as taunting, no matter the gender.
It’s the beam and warmth of morning sun that makes me blink and realize my phone in hand with text still unanswered. Head scratched in frustration over my stupidity, in hopes a shower would shove some senses back to me or the fact that I’ve got ignored by my ex girlfriend is surreal.
Hiyori’s POV
The temptation to reply is enticing although my better judgement (tiredness) has sent me to the land of dream where I could at least see Hiro for a little longer than a 5-10 minutes skype calls once in awhile. Waking up to his cute teddy bear selfie puts a smile on my face though it doesn’t last when my mother calls next and carry on a dreadful conversation of 30 minutes to ensure my attendance at her birthday party.
Another hectic day in the office with an unexpected soon or later reunion request from a high school that I’ve worked with not so long ago, going down on memory lane where I’ve had the pleasure to meet Mr. Kagai whom later invited me to a gallery show. The universe must be having so much fun with my love life, throwing men at me while I constantly run away from the one my heart points towards until he’s finally won me over but then fly half way across the world to fulfill his dreams and duty.
Meeting with Mr. Kagai set next week at his school and the dresses mum has chosen and sent over now lying on my bed, waiting for me to make a decision as if it even matters. She is going to be the star of the night, why does it matter what I wear or how glamorous I look. Sigh escaped and palms rubbing my face follow by setting up a reminder for the party I am not exactly looking forward to, I text Shun to see if he and my little sister would be going. If I were to be bored or embarrassed to death, at least the charmed duo would take the spot light off me.
Days fly by and standing like a lost puppy under a tent while the guests arrive and my mother smiles suddenly look genie for once under the blazing sunlight. Whoever’s idea to have this party outdoor is brilliant, it feels warm, causal yet still classy. Nothing like my mother but hey, still a good idea.
Eyes skimming through the group of elderly, a figure by the buffet tables with a bottle of beer beacons among the crowds, a sip down and gesturing his bottle in the air as a hi along with that smiles I used to fall head over heels for. My heart sinks and burns at the same time, chatter and laughter fade into the background while the distance between us remain, neither of us has taken a step yet.
Haru Yamashita’s POV
Slow motion playing in front of my eyes for all I see is Hiyori Mukai, a girl I’ve left behind over career advancement; a girl who no one else has ever come close to competing; a girl I would do anything just to be with her again. The heavy guilt weighing over me makes this neither positive nor negative situation harder to progress, should I make the first move? Would she turn and run if I do?
Heart racing as I quietly watch her, no words to describe how I feel, my glimmer of sunshine so close yet so far, hesitating at the distance I’m resopnsiblie for creating and the fear to admit that we may have lost one another more than we would like to admit. Deep breath and cheeks slightly flushed, it’s the tuck on my elbow to see I’m being pulled over towards her.
“Come on now, don’t be a stranger you two!” Of course the former Mrs. Mukai would do the honor of awkward introduction, “Haru is recently back to the country, Hiyo. It’s been too long, you two should catch up.”
The wink and squeeze on my butt brings back memory but best of all, it eases our tension as I see a gentle smile breaking across her perfect profile. “God, you’re just as beautiful as ever.” Both of us caught off guard at a comment which I should’ve kept to myself than saying out loud, my whisper of sorry which goes a long way. “I… I’ve missed you.”
Shit, I should stop talking!
Hiyori’s POV
Guilt and nerves taunting me as Haru and I take a stroll away from the crowd, his every little gesture brings back sweet memories that I’ve long buried inside a box now safely stored in the top corner of my closet shelf.
His slow breath mask a contrast to my beating heart which is filled with images of Hiro and how sad he must be if he ever finds out. The updates of Haru’s success brings a sincere smile to my face for all he ever wanted was a chance to prove his ability and worth in the world out there, he did just that.
“I’m really happy for you so how long are you in town for? Did you bring your girlfriend?” It’s a rather obvious move to ask but in hope he would say she’s currently hiding in a hotel or waiting for his return in another country so it would make it easier to break the news that my boyfriend is half way across the world.
Haru Yamashita's POV
Little off guard at the obvious question with intention I am unsure of, a bitter smile spreads across my face which I hope she hasn't noticed.
"Grr, I'm single." And my heart aches before she even attempts to say anything, I already know. She's taken, she is someone's girl. Cursing my stupidity of blurring out how much I miss her and acting like a teenage boy is the last sort of impression I want to her to have of me.
"Are you happy with him?"
Not proud of my wishes, my desperation and hope for a no to escape her lips. I need to know, can this man make her smile the same way I used to do?
"Do you see your life without him?"