He chuckles, the tips of his ears burning slightly.
“Merlin, that might be one of the sweetest and strangest things anyone has ever said to me.”
Benjy orders another round for both of them, sipping on his drink and closing his eyes for a moment.
“He was an arse. And if we’d gotten caught, given seniority and the fraternization rules, I would’ve been the one kicked off the team.”
“Sometimes, after we broke up of course, I wondered if he was trying to get us caught on purpose…he was jealous of me. Which sounds so dickish but he even said it-I was a better flyer than him and he hated it.”
He takes two big sips of his drink.
“He wanted to marry me, I said no. My career was more important, you know? And now, even though that literally crashed and burned it…”
Benjy tilts his head to the side, studying his new friend.
“Do you believe in fate, Pandora?”
It sounds like a come on, and he’s too drunk to correct himself.
“I think I needed to break up with Graham Beckett cause I needed to fall…cause if I hadn’t fallen?” He gestures vaguely to the room around him.
“None of this would be happening. Not to me. You know?”
“I pride myself on sweet and strange,” Pandora nods, sagely, “It’s the best way to be.” The way he holds himself suddenly reminds her viscerally of Sawyer - that same beaten dog vibe, just happy to receive any kind of affection.
“I mean it tho, you shouldn’t sell yourself short - if people make you feel like they’re ashamed of you, they're the ones who are not worthy of your time and they can piss off. You don’t need that shit.”
She leans on the bar, sipping on the drink that sort of appeared in front of her - did he order them, she’s not even sure anymore. She’s listening attentively though, studying Benjy’s in return with squinted, thoughtful eyes.
“Yeah,” she says, dumbly. “I mean- yes, I believe in fate. As so much that life or fate or the universe, whatever you want to call it, makes us face the tough decisions we need to make and we seal our own by making them.”
“Does that make sense at all?” She hopes it does. “Rock bottom is a solid base, or so I’ve heard. I- I think I envy you a little.” She laughs at herself when she says it. “Not that I’d want to go through what you went through, it sounds like a terrible time - but at least you’ve built everything you are yourself, you know? You took that rock bottom and you built something on it.”
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