Winter

Australian | QUEER AF | 30 | They/them

[morganoperandi]

I’m a cis-gender man which basically means that, when I was born, the doctor went “It’s a boy!” and when I was old enough to understand I agreed with him.

The thing is, I don’t know why I feel like a man.  I was teased and bullied for it a lot when I was little.  I’ve never had stereotypically American male interests.  I never cared about sports or cars or guns.  I was more interested in music and cooking and the arts.  I’ve always been emotionally in tune and sensitive, even when I did my best to suppress my emotions to survive a childhood of abuse from other children.

It’s not physical either.  I don’t feel like a man because I have a penis or a beard.  If you put my brain in a robot body or any other body, my essence would still feel male (I assume).  I literally can’t imagine what being any other gender would feel like, since I feel so acutely male.

I think that’s why the concept of being transgender always made sense to me.  I’m a man.  I don’t have any bloody clue why I feel like a man, but I don’t feel that it’s tied to my body or my interests or the way that I’ve been treated.  I feel like a man because of something beyond that.  Something ephemeral.  So, why couldn’t others feel the same?  Why couldn’t a person who’s been misidentified as a girl feel like a boy for the exact same nebulous reasons that I do?

And, since gender really doesn’t make any sense to me anyway, why couldn’t there also be people who feel as if they don’t have one?  Or who flow across genders like a ship on a map?

Are there people out there whose sense of their own gender is inseparable from their physical form?  If you put those people into robot bodies or, simply, other physically different bodies, would their gender identity also swap?  If so, why?  Are they actually more lost in their gender identity than I am and they need to hone in on the physical in order to anchor themselves?

Why do people feel like they are the gender that they are?

[sir-renaissance]

This is very soul filling to read. Thank you

[5typesoftrash]

My grandfather, who had a difficult time coming to terms with it when I came out, has been working very hard to understand me and my experience. About 5 weeks ago, he asked me, almost offhand, “why are you so sure that you’re a man?”

And I replied, “well, I could ask you the same thing.” And I moved on, continued, tried to explain why I feel the way that I do, but I don’t think he heard any of those things that I said afterward. 

Because six days later, we talked about it again, and this is what he told me: 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said last week. Because all my life I identified it as ‘these are the parts that I have, and so I am a man’. But you’re living proof that gender is not limited to what is attached to your body, so I asked myself, why am I a man? And all I can say is ‘because I have no idea what it feels like to be anything else’. I cannot imagine what it’s like to be a woman. Or neither, or both, or any other gender. I have always been a man.”

And I replied, “that’s exactly what it feels like for me.”

So, shoutout to my cisgender grandfather, for stumbling upon the essence of being trans accidentally, with very little help from me. I love you, grandpa.

[the-cimmerians]

watching cis folks suddenly and comprehensively grasp the inessential nature of gender is always a joy

[paulnewoman]

Gay USA (1977) dir. Arthur J. Bressan Jr.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[unmaskedagain]

[matters-from-ashes]

I know this probably more aimed at whether or not it’s okay to hit your kids, but this reminds me of something that happened when I went to pick up my nieces and nephew from school once.

So, because I basically work from home, I’m free every day to pick them up. I walk. The school is only two blocks from the house. It’s not a problem. Besides, it’s easier because other kids being picked up by car cause a lot of congestion so I end up getting home way before they even leave parking lot. 

It was raining really hard one day so I took the truck. When I got there, I parked and went to the waiting area and met with the other parents. Some I usually talk to also walk because they live either closer or on the same street as I do. I remember they asked why I decided to drive this time. I just kind of gestured to the rain. 

And one of them goes “well I had to walk in the rain when I was a kid.” 

And I just said, “yeah, so did I, and it sucked. Why am I going to make them do it too?” 

I wish I could say they were like “oh you’re right,” but they weren’t. They just kind of shrugged it off and then proceeded to make their kids walk home with them in the rain.  

[big-tiddy-goth-ghoulfriend]

A friend of mine occasionally goes on rants about how unfair it is that being a nerd is cool now. Keep in mind, this man is my age. Just turned 30 this year. He goes on an entire “when I was in school you got picked on for playing video games and now it’s cool” diatribe. Talking about how all the celebrities are playing D&D now when you used to get laughed at, etc. and just getting really worked up about it.

And like, sure, I understand being a little bitter that you had to go through that only for the standards to change, that the things you’re into are cool now just one short generation after being cool mattered to you. And you’re allowed to be upset about that, I guess, even if you don’t have anyone to blame. What’s considered cool changes over time, that’s just how society works. 

But he takes it out on the kids. Like for some reason it’s their fault that they’re not being treated as badly as he was. That they’re somehow not real nerds because they haven’t had to fight for it. There’s so much anger in him about this and I don’t understand it. Overall, this is an improvement. We didn’t just switch what was cool. We don’t hail the gamers and computer programmers and stuff all the football players into trash cans in the hallway. Jocks and cheerleaders are still cool, but now being a nerd is cool too. That is a net gain in the number of people not being picked on for their hobbies.

The whole point of slowly improving the world and society over time is so people have an easier, happier, more fulfilling life. You may have had to pass through fire, but now that you’re hardened to it, it’s your responsibility to douse it so no one else has to get burned.

[catchmebucklebuddy]

The whole point of slowly improving the world and society over time is so people have an easier, happier, more fulfilling life. You may have had to pass through fire, but now that you’re hardened to it, it’s your responsibility to douse it so no one else has to get burned.

[basementtreasure]

been thinking about appearances and stuff

[werelivingarts-deactivated20230]

‘eat the frog' method

Hi all, it’s werelivingarts. I just stumbled across this method called ‘eat the frog’, which means you get the most difficult or important task out of your way first. I actually have been using this method for a long time, hope this post gives you a new way of managing your time and productivity! 😜 ❤️

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” – Mark Twain 

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

[image description:

‘eat the frog’ method

what is 'eat the frog’ method? 'eat the frog’ is basically a technique where you 'eat’ or finish all the 'frogs’ or tasks that you dread the most first, so that you can relax and not be stressed throughout the day anymore

what tasks can be seen as 'frogs’? 1. extremely difficult task tasks that require you a lot of time and effort, or just simply a boring task

2. extremely important task tasks that are very important but too demanding to focus in a long time

3. extremely difficult and important sometimes if you have no luck, then tasks would be both crucial and hard

how to 'eat that frog’? 1. list out your tasks and find the frog with Eisenhower matrix (below) 2. get the frog out of the way 3. work on more relaxing tasks

using Eisenhower matrix start moving from quadrant 1 to other quadrants when you’re done

quadrant 1: task you don’t want to do but need to do quadrant 2: task you want to do and need to do quadrant 3: task you want to do, but don’t need to do quadrant 4: task you don’t want to do, don’t need to do

positives 1. impact-driven feel more motivated when you complete most important task of the day 2. easy to prioritize recognize what tasks are difficult and important and what tasks are unnecessary 3. relaxing/enjoyable day get the dreadful tasks out of your way and enjoy tasks that you want to do

negatives 1. start the day difficultly may feel overwhelmed with the task and feel demanding and demotivated all the time 2. too rigid and impractical doing the most important task first might be a very strict rule, try to get started and modify it to fit your needs

what if '2 frogs’? if there are more than one task, then let’s use the ABCDE method to prioritize because no tasks are equally important

A. extremely important B. just important C. normal daily tasks D. someone else can do it E. nah… eliminate it

/end image description]

(note: i corrected a couple of typos for the sake of clarity)

[fkn-lsbn]

[thecommonchick]

i’m such a “look at the sky” “look at the sunset” “look at the moon” stay in the car to listen to the rest of the song typa person

[alexvidraws]

I’m so sick of random people trying to invalidate my identity.

Bisexuality includes non-binary people!

Non-binary bisexuals are valid!

We are here, we exist, and we are NOT going anywhere!

[transgirl-link]

"you can't tell someone's sexuality from their appearance" there was a girl on the bus with electric blue hair in an undercut, 6 piercings in one ear, rainbow converse, and a 'punch a fascist' pin on her backpack it's physically impossible for that person to be straight

[fwizard]

 #don't judge a book by it's cover but sometimes the cover does in fact tell you a lot about a book

[qunari]

the idea is more for straight people because they literally don't know how to read coding properly....but coding is actually intended to communicate to other LGBT+ people, so

[tenoko1]

^this. Queer people almost always spot even the subtlest things. Like small circle earrings that are the colors. The chain to your necklace isn't just pretty/cute/fashion, it's specific colors in a formation. Pins on purses or backpacks. Fashion and aesthetic you can't put your finger on as to how or why you can understand the message, but you can all the same, and then you meet eyes, and there's a small smile and nod as you recognize one of your own. There's something safe and reassuring in that moment.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Bisexual books part 1

A History of Bisexuality (The Chicago Series on Sexuality, History, and Society) 1st Edition

Bi America (Bisexuality) 1st Edition

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition

Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution

Bi Men: Coming Out Every Which Way

The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways by Kristal, Nicole, Szymanski, Mike(October 1, 2006) Paperback

Claiming the B in LGBT: Illuminating the Bisexual Narrative

Bisexual and Pansexual Identities (Gender and Sexualities in Psychology) 1st Edition

Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions (Haworth Gay and Lesbian Studies)

[cowboyera]

Hmm so not to be gay but I finally figured out why it's stereotypical for tops to either have their hair short or pulled back constantly

[solarpunkvegan]

I love that “wlw” became a thing. It doesn’t tell you if either of the women are lesbians, bi, pan, aro, ace, demi, cis or trans, or poly. It can be any combination. It doesn’t say whether they’re in a relationship, a one night stand, or some kind of polyship. It’s just a women loves another woman. And that’s beautiful. 

[verilybitchie]

I do not “identify” as nonbinary, I AM nonbinary. I “IDENTIFY” as a bitch.

[anakin-skywlker-deactivated2024]

[writcraft]

I want to write about bisexuality but every story I’m trying to tell focuses on coming out. I started to wonder how someone can capture a continuous process in just a handful of words.

I also began to doubt myself. I worried that a story about same sex partners would erase the experience I wanted to portray, thought a story about a man and a woman wouldn’t be queer enough, put myself into the headspace of all the people who have doubted me.

I have so many stories I want to tell but much like bisexuality they’re not the beginning, or the end, just the in between. The moments of waving the flag, changing a profile picture, saying to people this is what I am then being confronted with the question are you really?

It’s a funny thing, to doubt yourself. You can be so sure, so active in one moment and then in the next you ask yourselves questions you should never have to answer. Am I really gay enough, am I really straight enough, do I get to write your stories, my stories, or are they always going to feel incomplete? Will I always have to question if I have earned a place at the queer table?

I want to write stories about bisexuality. I just don’t know how to put my experiences into clever words when I’m still plagued by not enough.

For that, I want to say fuck you to all the people who asked for details of my sex life to prove myself. I want to say fuck you to all the people who asked if I was confused, if it was a phase, who told me I shouldn’t bother saying anything at all, who asked me for a threesome, who told me I couldn’t be happy if I was always going to be looking for something else.

I want to say thank you to the people that listened and still do. The friends who get that despite frivolous reports about everyone being bisexual, it’s not that easy for everyone to own it. It’s still not safe for people to come out and it’s not always easy for people to understand themselves, when perception around sexuality is still invested in binaries and bisexual people are routinely mistrusted.

I still want to write stories about this, I just don’t know how to capture all the things I want to say in short form. Snapshots, perhaps. Moments in time. To stop doubting myself would be a great place to start.

Every single time I post on this topic I cringe at my own negativity. For the most part I am loud, out and proud, but just like everyone I have moments of doubt. Most of my doubts are caused by the insidious biphobia that absolutely exists in both straight and queer space, the stuff that contributes to higher levels of mental health issues, sexual violence, drug and alcohol abuse experienced by bisexual people. We are here, we are queer, and our closets are just as stifling and dangerous as any other.

I opened a document and tried to tell a story. In the end, I told mine. So this is for anyone who sometimes feels as lost or confused as I do, or anyone who has ever doubted themselves. I see you, and one day I’ll figure out that perfect story.

[somekidsaregaythatsokay]

[running-fromlove]

Kissing girls is worth going to hell for