I recently attended a queer community event and there was a group of older women who coordinated to provide hugs to any participants who needed one. I went over to tell them how cool this was and to thank them, and the lady I talked to said 'hey, so, we're all moms, but we don't have any dads with us. Want to join us as a dad?' (ADATF assigned dad at the function, woop!) (understandable because I am white-haired and butch and giant and was also wearing brown plaid flannel, plus my entire being is suffused with an epic level of dorkiness that I guess really reads as dad for some qualities of dadness) Anyway I was like Fuck Yeah Hi I'm Dad and started giving hugs as assigned, attempting to give the kind of enveloping, all-encompassing and all-accepting hugs that I thought would be most effective, but this one little masc person pulled back afterwards and said 'no offense, but that was like a mom hug. could i have a dad hug?', and I was so confused by this for a moment I said 'dad hug?' and waved my hands like patting, and they were like 'yes! like the back-slapping! like you gotta knock the gay cooties off!' so I squared up and gave them a big back-slapping hug, and, being amused, added 'you want me to call you Sport?' and they got very small in my arms and quietly said 'yeah... please', so I rocked them a little while still patting and said 'oh, it's okay, Sport, I got you. Pal. Buddy. Champ. Ace. We're gonna keep the gay cooties, yeah?' and they nodded and then snuggled in and didn't let go for some time so I guess I did okay. Anyway. Further study on gendered hugs needed, apparently.
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