Reasons why someone might identify as “loveless” aromantic
Note: I don’t ID as loveless, this is just a collection of what I’ve seen loveless aros say. Add on if you’d like.
The concept of love has been so intertwined with romantic love to the point where they find two two hard to separate
They don’t believe that love makes us human
They’ve faced abuse by people who used “love” as an excuse for their actions
Every time they say that they’re left out of conversations about love, they’re faced with “love doesn’t have to be romantic” to disregard their oppression or the exclusion they’ve faced (e.g. aromantics are usually left out of “love is love” to represent the entire queer community, and every time we bring this up, we’re always faced with “love isn’t always romantic!!” to erase us, when the phrase “love is love” literally is only about romantic love outside of these conversations)
They don’t believe loving someone automatically means anything, and it’s just too vague for them (e.g. does “I love you” mean that they want the best for you, they just like having you around, or they appreciate you as a person but wouldn’t do anything for you?)
They’re neurodivergent and have always been scolded or punished for not “loving” in a specific way
They’re reclaiming their agency to define love for themselves
They feel that “We can still love!!” isn’t helpful because aromanticism isn’t a lack of anything that needs to be made up for, and they want to be respected simply for not loving
They don’t like being attached to this capitalized concept of love
They have a disorder/disability that limits their ability to feel or understand certain emotions, which may encompass certain forms of love, or the way that they “love” is just so different that no one really appreciates it
Their reasons are personal or not on this list, but still valid
Remember that lovelessness is entirely valid. To not relate to the concept of love, or to simply not love, is okay, and you aren’t missing anything. The reasons why someone might ID as loveless aren’t really our business, so if they say they don’t love, respect that.
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