Par For The Curse - Issue 7
Alright friends, sit back, relax, and let’s talk about Blaise Zabini.
More importantly, let’s talk about Zabini’s birthday masquerade party a couple weeks ago, that served as an unofficial “Goodbye Puddlemere United” Party as well. How else would you explain the entirety of the Puddlemere United quidditch team (save for one very irate Oliver Wood) being in attendance? Guests masked their identities with fun costumes and voice changing potions that I’ve never seen before, but quite enjoyed until I took one that made me sound like a creepy old man for the rest of the evening. I know you all want the actual dirt from the party though, so for once, I’ll stop waxing poetic about myself and talk about everyone else.
The man of the hour, Zabini himself, somehow pulled off a lavender (RIP LAVENDER BROWN!) suit and made it look like something he was born to wear. I’m usually one to rant and rave about Marcus Flint being the most handsome bloke at any event (which he is, and was) but admittedly, Blaise took the birthday cake at this one.
The evening was full of surprises, including Greg Goyle showing up with a mysterious blonde that I was almost sure was Astoria Greengrass until I overheard a conversation and found out her name was Candace and she was Canadian. Go figure! Goyle certainly has been getting around as of late, I do hope Astoria was smart enough to bail before she got in too deep. I’m almost positive she did, she wouldn’t risk ruining her hair by drowning in all that drama.
That imagery didn’t work as well as I wanted it to, but it’s still making me giggle so you’re going to have to settle for it.
Perhaps one of the biggest surprises, however, was the abundance of potions being handed out and taken without any concern as to what they even did. I was watching a conversation between Millicent Bulstrode and Cassius Warrington and next thing I knew, Millie was taking his pants off in the middle of the party and they looked about ten seconds away from getting down and dirty right in front of everyone there. Had Evangeline Rosier floating in the air not sent Cassius running to rescue her, who knows what would have happened. Which, side note… how cute are they? Evan was kind of all over him after that and I was there for it.
What I do know is that our birthday boy did not seem happy to find his not-girl in such a predicament, and whether his mood was boosted by a potion or not, Blaise and Millie disappeared to the gaming room, where I’m told they had a very loud fight and um… make-up session in one of the closets there.
Most surprising to me were the amount of muggle-influenced costumes on purebloods. Pansy Parkinson, for one, rocking a Cher inspired wig, was almost unrecognizable, and I wouldn’t have known it was her had I not seen her sneaking off with Draco Malfoy, who had inexplicably come dressed as the Ghostface killer from the muggle Scream movie that was big in cinemas this summer. Theodore Nott also rocked a muggle costume, wearing a Batman mask, my personal favorite masked vigilante, not that anybody’s asking. I fully doubt any of these people realize how significant their choices were, but I must applaud them for going out of their comfort zones to ensure they had a costume that none of their peers would, even if they didn’t know what those costumes even were.
Last but certainly not least, dear readers, does anybody know who Trey Butts was? I couldn’t place him all night, and I’m almost positive he wanted me to owl him. Every owl I’ve tried to send to Trey Butts has been returned though, so I assume it was a pseudonym or alias being used by somebody. I’m inclined to guess it was either Adrian Pucey or perhaps Miles Bletchley, but I’m not positive, and the thought of sending an owl to the wrong person is mortifying.
Moving on, that party was forever ago and it’s my own fault for taking so long to report it, I’ve been quite busy as of late. You see, quidditch season is about to start, and while I’m no sports journalist, the lives of quidditch players is more than a little fascinating. I mean, take this for example…Cormac McLaggen is BACK.
You’re welcome for that.
Exactly. You heard me. Gryffindor Tower’s favorite eye candy (or maybe just mine) that transferred to Ilvermorny before the end of school has come back to the UK and is currently playing as reserve keeper for the Falmouth Falcons. I could hardly believe it, but though she may be shady and not tell her identical twin sister about very important social life developments and hookups that she would be very interested in, my dear twin Padma Patil is no liar and did mention running into Cormac at a pub and said he looked quite fit as he always had. Padma does tend to have a similar taste in men to me, go figure.
Needless to say, between Marcus and Cormac, I’ll definitely be supporting Falmouth once again this year. Also, I wouldn’t mind being between Marcus and Cormac, if you know what I’m saying.
Speaking of, now would be a good time to mention that famed author Maven Aildor’s new novel The Boy Who Lived to Love: He’s a Keeper! hit shelves last week. In this addition to the saga, title character Gary Tosser is made quidditch captain and gets involved romantically with the new Ilvermorny exchange student Tarmac McFlaggen who’s joined the team to replace his best friend Flan as keeper. Available now wherever romantic fiction is sold!
While we’re on the topic of Falmouth though, I’d be a horrible person if I didn’t mention renowned team captain Marcus Flint, aka the Wizarding World’s Most Eligible Bachelor. As much as I’d love to report that he’s decided to settle down with me and start a family, I have to report rumors that he’s been seen with a completely irrelevant and unknown witch shopping at some of Wizarding London’s lesser known upscale menswear boutiques. Though my source tells me he and this woman appeared to be quite friendly, I hardly think there’s any need to worry about a budding relationship. If there were, Marcus wouldn’t have been dancing with Pansy Parkinson at last week’s Knights of Merlin social, would he?
Speaking of Pansy… Pansy, I love you, we know that. Please don’t tell me these rumors I’m hearing about Draco Malfoy telling your mother that he intends to marry you are true! I mean, I know you two were doing the whole sweetheart thing at school, and he is, admittedly, annoyingly handsome, but he’s Malfoy… you can do so much better than that. (Just not Marcus, okay?) Maybe tell your cousin Cassius that the black eye he gave him (or at least I heard it was from him) wasn’t enough and he should do something more memorable so it’ll stick next time.
It seems as if Sebastian Rosier’s been out fundraising lately. Whether it’s for the Evan Rosier Foundation or the new ministry program the Rosiers are in charge of, I have no idea, but I’ve heard multiple reports of him meeting with quite a few former Slytherin house members with deep pockets. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw something big coming from the Rosier family soon. I, for one, am voting for another ball.
Speaking of Rosiers, all ten of the Rosier Wasps have now been sold, according to Rosier Fashion House representative Daphne Greengrass. Readers are asked to kindly stop soliciting Rosier headquarters for the opportunity to purchase one.
Last, but certainly not least, I’m reminding all of you of tonight’s Halloween Extravaganza, co-hosted by Witch Weekly, Quidditch Weekly, and the Daily Prophet. Come in costume and be prepared to party!
