raveriie:
chibiya :
❛ Of course, I am. ❜
The answer was responsive and immediate. Yet it lacked one thing; passion. Although he had responded in a chirpy manner, Delic felt quite— a bit— broken in the inside. Yet he forced himself to smile. If the reason has to be told, then the reason could not be more than obvious enough that it just so happened to be the person who he loved so dearly. The person who is now holding him in his arms, much to his surprise. It felt warm, a tingling sensation began to rise inside him; whether that was because of pure embarrassment or shock, he did not know. Yet he complied with the hug, an arm stretched out to coil around the petite figure, now holding him in his hold.
It wasn’t that he didn’t tell the other because he did not trust him enough. Rather, he thought it’d be troublesome. Most of the times, friendships formed out of pity, && they wounded up broken in a very terrible manner either. Delic experienced that before. It hurts more than what one could imagine— it only brought back the pain, that all this time, they were simply putting up with him because they pitied him. Ever since then, Delic decided to conceal his past as he met more people along the way. He did not need pity.
He did not need any more unnecessary scars.
But perhaps it was time. The host suddenly leaned back, the color of his eyes now drained, revealing only a color that seemed dull && lifeless pink. Yet somehow, they seemed sad too.
❛ Chibiya. ❜
He began, trying to push out his doubts— the scary thoughts of what would happen in the future after he finally told him what he needed to tell. Besides, it was not fair. He knew a lot about the prince. Yet he never told much about himself in return.
❛ … When I was child——— ❜
&& now, it is time for him to tell.
Surprisingly, Hibiya was a good listener.
The prince held Delic's hand the entire time with an unreadable expression on his face. It held none of pity, the pair of golden orbs only encouraged the host to go on with his story. No matter how heart-wrenching the story gets, he didn't comment a single time, though his eyes flickered with darkness, as if sharing Delic's sorrow, and he would cup the host's hand a little tighter, to show his support. Even though it didn't surprise him because he'd taken his share of surprise earlier during the unintentional breach of privacy earlier, but Hibiya could feel that twist in the gut again when Delic's voice sometimes cracked or when Delic's dull eyes flickered with darkness that felt foreign yet familiar to Hibiya. He felt connected, yet so detached with the male that currently was opening his heart to him. In one side, he felt that the violent streak and the abandonment he'd received is alike with Delic's, but in the same time... they were so different.
When Delic struggled alone and escaped his parents, he had just escaped because Delic was there and ready to give a hand in his little escapade. He was too scared to escape by himself. Especially when he had known how the world could be really scary, a part of him really wanted to escape back to his room in the palace and enjoyed his boring and torturing life back in the palace. At least he'd know what to expect. But...
This man, Delic, gave him a chance to see the world in different light. He assisted Hibiya throughout the journey, promising to never let anything happened to the prince. And the very same man was in front of him, giving away a piece that had been impaling the host for a long time, opening the wound once again, and trusted Hibiya to be able to hold on to that piece. And hopefully, to close up the wound.
Hibiya wanted to do just that, but he was at loss in what to say.
"...Delic. I don't know if it'd help, but..." He drew a deep breath. "I'll... I'll be here for you. Hopefully forever, as much as my body allows. I am unable to do something more like sealing the wound for you.
Someone had said to me... that the past was a kind of God. It'd always follow every step you make, reminding you to his existence. Therefore I can't make you forget it, nor can I erase it. Though there is one thing that I can do, and I will do. It is to accompany you in every step, reminding you that... the past is not where you belong. It's the present, with me. When you acknowledge that, hopefully, your past will not control you and will not be able to hurt you anymore."
