ParadoxToast

what're ya buyin

[illusionwaltz]

How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

[ra-mt-deactivated20240213]

these are all the same exact color . what

[ratfuck]

we should make up fake weird incidents that supposedly occurred on tumblr in the past to gaslight newcomers

[ratfuck]

only OG bloggers will remember when tumblr got shut down by Homeland Security for a day on March 23rd, 2014 following popular tumblr user social-justice-amethyst (currently interned at guantanemo bay) posted a credible threat aimed at then-president of the United States Barack Obama

[godsarecrazy]

Need head from a broad with acid reflux. Make it sizzle princess

[tigerator]

how does tumblr think they can possibly police the content on this website

[chikkou]

sword art takes place in 2022. good luck in the game

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO?

[turnways]

[suriliebrothers]

[blue-yaksha-deactivated20220620]

insane, need a sugar mommy asap

[suriliebrothers]

[idknewname1]

*kisses u* teehee *spreads my disease to you*

[aletheius]

GUARD!! NATIONAL GUARD!!! THE WHORE IS BREAKING CURFEW!!!

[goldrubyproduction]

we really had no idea huh

[ceasarslegion]

I wanna be one of the KFC workers in the Pentagon. What is that like. Imagine having that level of security clearance so you can make people chicken on their lunch breaks. When Marx talked about praxis this is what he meant. Does the Pentagon KFC hit different? Imagine being 16 and getting to tell your friends that you work in the Pentagon after school. I want to boil myself in the Pentagon KFC deep fryers

[ceasarslegion]

Metal Gear Solid wishes it was the level of military criticism that the existence of the Pentagon KFC is

[ceasarslegion]

KFC tastes noticeably different in different countries because it has to accommodate things like halal in muslim countries, which begs the question of what exactly is in their north american fried chicken recipe that doesn’t make it halal. What do they put in the Pentagon KFC chicken. Do they put the stuff that made Malcolm the middle in it

[ceasarslegion]

I should be allowed into the Pentagon to slurp up the delicious sultry spices their KFC keeps in the meat locker

[ceasarslegion]

essence of ronald reagan

[ceasarslegion]

going delirious on the thought of ronald reagan pentagon kfc. i want to live deliciously.

[ceasarslegion]

I CHANGED MY MIND NOTHING COULD COMPARE TO WHATEVERS IN THE AREA 51 DEL TACO

[ampervadasz]

[pocketgameboy]

This transition is straight out of a horror movie

[an-odd-idea]

@heymynameismolly-jk wow

[log6]

WHO called 7 inches a "dicklet" truly the size queens are causing a brain rot. Bring back that thing about vacation dick vs boyfriend dick.

[jaoxn]

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

I think the funniest story I have of Lowe's is when I was doing returns. I can't remember what this contractor was returning but it was either awkward or heavy (or both) so I was helping him get it off or out of his cart. He's got his phone pinned between his face and his shoulder and he's arguing with someone, either another contractor or the person he's contracted to, something about windows, so he's fairly distracted, right?

Our hands wound up brushing and all of a sudden I've got his undivided attention and he just blurts out, "oh fuck your hands are soft!" And then looks like he wishes he could shove those words right back into his mouth, and before I can even scramble to come up with a response, his face twisted into like a very deadpan mocking face and he said, "does it SOUND like I'm talking to you? Are we within hands touching distance? Oh God I hope so, so you can feel how soft THESE hands aren't."

[plounce]

why did someone cite me on knowyourmeme in the most backhanded way possible. they aren’t even like mistakenly sourcing me for it. they’re just going “this bitch tweeted this and it wasn’t funny and nobody liked it”

[lesbiskammerat]

[zvaigzdelasas]

me turning the world communist

[zvaigzdelasas]

huh maybe i should get through more than half the video before commenting

[that-gay-ass-frog]

Im laughing so hard oh my god

[pauljpeg]

I eat that pussy like a communion wafer

[creigo]

sure ill reblog that

[anger-birb]

[mrsurlaw]

Why do you know what stock photo to use

[anger-birb]

I’m in th e computers

[omruc]

[catgirl-greatsword]

girlboss? no. girlunion. girlstrike.

[catgirl-greatsword]

girlworkers of the girlworld unite

[galaxydominion]

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Haters will imprison you inside a magic crystal and be like "If this seal ever comes undone the World will be plunged into Eternal Darkness and reality itself could shatter."

[7thgenbotulist]

What are you planning on doing once you’re out of there?

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Plunge the World into Eternal Darkness, maybe shatter reality if I feel like it