New York Times Movie Ratings

A love song to the underappreciated art of snarking on MPAA ratings in the New York Times. Run by Julia & Emily.

[parentsstronglycautioned]

Entourage” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Dude, I think she was looking at you. You should totally go for it.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Sex Tape” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It’s called “Sex Tape.”

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Animal cruelty.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Godzilla” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Whole cities are wiped out so that two enormous bugs can be prevented from having sex.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Much Ado About Nothing” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It’s filthier than your English teacher let on.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Aftershock” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Buried babies, an impaled fireman and roaming rapists.

Jeannette Catsoulis

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“21 and Over” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Backsides are spanked, a tampon is eaten, and a teddy bear is abused.

Nicole Herrington

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian) for blood, cursing and a skinny-dipping interlude.

Neil Genzlinger

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Silent Night” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Electrocution by Christmas lights, castration by sickle and impalement by stag antler.

Jeannette Catsoulis

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Anna Karenina” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Overwhelming sexual passion, but with (very fancy) clothes on.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Heads roll (and pop).

Manohla Dargis

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Life of Pi” is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). Violence, mostly bloodless, inflicted by and upon digital animals.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“V/H/S” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Mangled genitals, a mutilated colon and horribly crusty feet.

Jeannette Catsoulis

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Butter” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Comedic reliance on an underused vagina, an overused womb and the usual girl-on-girl interlude.

Jeannette Catsoulis

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Taken 2” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned) for many dead Albanians.

Neil Genzlinger

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“The Paperboy” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). I honestly don’t know where to start.

A.O. Scott

[parentsstronglycautioned]

“Bringing Up Bobby” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). A pedophile joke, a homophobic slur and some toilet humor.

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