so i just saw obsession

if i look back, i am lost
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@paristwists
so i just saw obsession
One thing about Obsession (2026) that I enjoyed was that it almost asks you to feel empathy for the entity possessing Nikki as well as the real one. Like, obviously the things she's doing are horrific and fucked up, but I think the scene where Bear is asking her to "just be Nikki!" and she eventually just desperatly screams "I can't be Nikki!" does a really good job of showcasing the entity's inner feelings. She's been created with the sole purpose of loving this guy more than anyone else but no matter how perfect it is or how much he claims to love her, its not her that he loves, its Nikki. And any time she stops pretending to be Nikki, he reacts (albeit rightfully) with disgust and horror. She can't be Nikki because Nikki would never love Bear, and so Bear will never love her.
Just saw the interview where Curry Barker explained that it's totally possible to get a normal wish from the One Wish Willow, and I love the way they did that so much. The reason Obsession happened isn't because it's trying to twist Bear's desires into something evil. It's not even because he phrased his want wrong. Obsession happened because Bear got his hands on a magic item that could do anything in existence, and chose to force someone to fall in love with him, which is an inherently evil thing to do.
daniel my sweet child
sean and finn :3
lis2 fans are u out there ā¦
porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]
thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!
The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake
JENNIFER COOLIDGE Wins Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for The White Lotus | 75th Primetime Emmy Awards
I need to go back to the start, because while PJ's DMs and apology letter are important, they are not half the story.
PJ had had a social media presence for years, but I became a fan around the release of It Chapter 2 in 2019, so my firsthand account starts there. Early on during the height of the It Ch2 fandom, someone resurfaced a 2015 interview PJ had done with Sean Baker while promoting the movie Tangerine. The video is no longer on youtube as far as I can tell, but in it, the interviewer made some awkward and insensitive remarks about trans people, and PJ and Sean acted awkward and ignorantly in response. It was thoughtless, but it wasn't hateful, nor did it counter support for trans rights. Itās also important to note that the interview was around four years old at the time and that PJ had also given other very thoughtful interviews (like this one with Karamo Brown) during that same time period.
That clip (now a decade old) was the initial catalyst for an unwarranted barrage of hate. Perhaps in part due to the fact that PJ was accessible and responsive on social media, he was regularly hounded wherever people could reach him. I also feel it's important to note that he was openly critical of apology culture, and was never someone to write some PR apology to appease online mobs. Not that it would have helped, but I'm not surprised he never addressed it at the time. And I feel like his refusal to play along may only have intensified people's persistence.
At that point, there was still an active fandom for him. There were the determined haters, but there were also a large percentage of people who didn't take an old interview as a final say on his character. But for those who did let a seed of hate take root, it only grew and they actively searched for new reasons to condemn him. One of the notable events during this time was an interaction at a convention. A fan asked him to say āgay rightsā, a meme-y fan request, and he declined. That same person then came back to his table and confronted him with a camera in hand (I remember thinking how the entitlement was off the charts). But this person got him on film, unprepared for a confrontation. He didn't even express any homophobic viewpoints, but because he didn't have some perfectly worded, online-approved response, it was all people needed to spread and further some narrative that he was anti-lgbt.
After these two catalysts, the hate machine continued. People twisted events, exaggerated details, and even outright fabricated stories. I won't recount every instance, but the point is people didn't care about the truth or how any of this started. The court of public opinion had decided PJ was homophobic and transphobic and that's all that mattered.
These people flooded his instagram daily, accusing him of various transgressions and asking him to explain himself. They tried to pick fights with him in DMs. They harassed his co-stars on their own pages. They led campaigns to get him fired from jobs and to get kicked out of conventions (when he didn't even have much on the horizon career-wise in the first place).
I don't have an exact timeline as I didn't want to save and revisit most of the ugly things I saw, but I know that this harassment went on for well over a year before any of the infamous DMs were sent. Over a year of provoking a man who had been open about his struggles. From surviving csa to overcoming heroin addiction and navigating his mental health in the aftermath. (He did a great episode of The Mental Illness Happy Hour right around the time of It Chapter 2's release.) He also spoke openly about his regrets and pain surrounding Ken Park. But people only took all of these vulnerabilities and weaponized them to punish him for being "problematic".
Eventually after so much time of this, he started responding both in DMs and comments. Yes, he said fucked up things. How much of that reflected true beliefs, how much stemmed from paranoia, how much was a last-ditch effort to push people away, etc, I don't think anyone can ever know. But once again, the nuance didn't matter. All that mattered was that he said those things and that people had more receipts to run with. (For even more context, he later shared publicly that all this was happening around a time in which he was working with police to try and have something done about the teacher who had abused him.)
None of this is meant to justify the DMs, but to provide additional context around them. And it matters that there was a large-scale amount of hate even in the absence of "deserving" reasons. It is painful and messy to recount but I feel like it is needed. I don't want the way that PJ responded while at his lowest to allow people to downplay the extreme and coordinated amount of hate that was directed at him. Nor should it overshadow the staggering lack of care and empathy shown towards someone who was openly dealing with trauma. The way people behaved was abhorrent and their actions have real and lasting consequences.
If any good can come from all this, I hope it can help soften some hearts and make people pause before joining the next online hate bandwagon. Think for yourself and trust your heart and start choosing and valuing grace and empathy more.
RIP James Ransone. You deserved so much better.
have u seen the new blog post from james ransone
I had not seen it, thanks for letting me know! Gonna copy and share here for my followers too:
https://www.pjransone.com/writing
Okay so I'm still thinking about James (PJ) Ransone's death. Sue me, I care about a man who killed himself less than a week before Christmas who left behind a wife and two kids. And I am really trying to find the words to express how I feel. And frankly I feel sad and pissed off because he survived so much bullshit only for what? This to be the end? That's crap. That fucking sucks. That more than fucking sucks, it enrages me to no end. But what pisses me off the most are the people who jump online and love to act like they knew him because guess what? None of us knew this man. I didn't. You didn't. Most of the people talking about him online didn't. Most of us never even met him. Could he have been this terrible person with horrible views? Sure, of course he could've. But everyone needs to stop acting like they know with certainty what his beliefs were and what he held in his heart. We don't know anything other than horrible things he said when he was spiraling and clearly not in his right mind, having some sort of mental episode. It's awful that he's judged so harshly because of shit he said when his head wasn't screwed on straight. And everyone behind their keyboards can act as high and fucking mighty as they want to, but at the end of the day most of us will never experience what it's like to not be in control of your own brain. To not be in control of your own actions only to snap back into your body and ask yourself 'what the fuck did I do?'. I don't know what he believed or what kind of person he was, but I'm choosing to believe what his wife wrote.
This part of her post has echoed constantly in my mind since reading it. Because to me-- this doesn't sound like the regretful words of a bigot. This sounds like a man who really did love everyone and had the misfortune of being famous and being watched at one of his darkest moments. He was a tortured man who deserved to find peace when he was still breathing and on this earth. I hate what he did. And I hate knowing that no matter what anyone says, there's people who will only see him for the mistakes he made at his lowest when that wasn't who he was. That is not the sum of his life. He was a person. A charismatic, funny, talented, and deeply complex human being. He was a father and a husband and a brother. I wish that he'd gotten the help he desperately needed and deserved. And I hate that this outpouring of love for him is something he never saw.
I can't speak to exactly what might've been going on in james ransone's life and what ultimately caused him to do that since I obviously didn't personally know him, but what I will say is that the legal system failed him so spectacularly that it certainly can't have helped. in 2021 he was brave enough to come forward about his assault (and even share details of it) by his tutor, timothy rualo, when he was 12 years old and the county police shrugged and said "can't prove it, sorry" and there was literally nothing done about it. and to my knowledge timothy rualo is still working as a fucking teacher. it kills me to know that james ransone never lived to see justice for it and that it might've pushed him towards this.
People should know this is who James "PJ" Ransone was...
mollyxxwatts I found out yesterday that @jamesransone died. Iām usually private but I want to publicly say I am so grateful that this man existed and donāt know if the trajectory of my life would be the same if he hadnāt. Warning: violence and sexual assault We were neighbors in Chinatown. Friendly, overlapping social circles. I was attacked at the threshold of our building. I screamed for help. No one came. My attacker put his hands around my throat so I would stop making noise. I couldnāt breathe. I remember the certainty that I was going to die or be raped as I was choked unconscious. PJ heard my screams and ran to help. He came running shirtless, carrying a bat or pipe ā Iām not sure which, because I never saw him in action. He scared my attacker, who ran. PJ chased him to the building he fled to. Because of the chase, the police were able to identify him, a repeat sexual offender. PJ saved me. Iām not sure if I would have the same life if he hadnāt run down that night. Even as an adult, Iām not sure how I would have handled the weight of what could have happened or how long it would take to heal ā I was already emotionally fragile. Whatās especially hard for me with PJās passing is that he lived with that kind of violence. What I was spared, he endured in a different form, at an age where there is no emotional defense, and the self is still forming. I get the sense that PJās life was haunted by what happened to him then. This world is rarely gentle to people who are hurt, vulnerable, acting out. Over the years, I have thought of PJ from time to time. I wanted to reach out to him to let him know how grateful I was that he ran towards my screams. I didnāt. I regret that. A gofundme has been set up for his children: https://www.gofundme.com/f/supporting-jamie-jack-and-violet-after-loss
People are ill equipped to help survivors of any kind of trauma, and this becomes evident in responses to fictional survivors in media and this becomes evident when a public figure dies by suicide and this becomes evident in our day to day lives as we try to balance empathy and accountability for hurt people who hurt people.
I am deeply saddened by the passing of James Ransone, and his life and death is just one example that fits into all of the above examples because of how the characters he played were perceived and how he was perceived and how he was perceived in the wake of saying and doing things that were not good or nice.
Public perception of him did not change the fact that he was a survivor of physical abuse and csa and that he had already been close to death before from drug abuse or that he clearly experienced psychosis and paranoia that made it difficult for him to make decisions or that all of these experiences shaped his thoughts and words no matter how offensive.
People want survivors to be Good People who don't "let" their trauma get the better of them, because people don't want to think about the consequences of trauma and how many survivors are addicts and criminals and other "problematic" types who say and do the wrong things. If Bad Survivors exist then we have to acknowledge how deep trauma goes.
And I'm not saying one must tolerate anyone who hurts you, but rather that our attitude towards those Bad Survivors as a whole is killing them and I'm tired of having grown up watching so many people who were obviously systematically abused end up killing themselves or drinking themselves to death when the signs were there for years.
There were whole shows from my teen years dedicated to making a spectacle of the suffering of public figures who grew up beaten and touched and drugged and so on and so forth by their family or the industry itself, and people justified it by saying oh well these people are problematic or they deserve it or they're not worth saving.
It makes me angry that I don't even know how best to help myself and others who have experienced any kind of abuse because of how much we're taught on a daily basis to deny survivors a right to recover and a right to a future and a space to heal and a space to make amends without public shame or humiliation, and I'm sad whenever a survivor dies b/c of it.
RIP James Ransone. I'm shocked and saddened by his passing. I was a fan of his after "It Chapter Two", and I watched all of his filmography soon afterward. My Tumblr page was dedicated to him for about a year and half. I suspected he must've been going through some mental health struggles the past few years, but I didn't know how bad it had gotten behind closed doors. I can't imagine the inner pain he must've been dealing with that led him to decide that he couldn't continue on. My heart goes out to his wife, son, and daughter.