shots shots shots;

parker hassan // 19 // sophomore // communications // radio personality // HB @parksandsex: i woke up like this #hungover

[parkerhassan]

simondsays:

“You were called parking lot, P? How much sense did that even make?”

“To high school boys who like to slut-shame any girl who doesn’t have her ‘v-card’, especially a girl who’s slept with more than one guy, it makes a hell of a lot of sense.”

[parkerhassan]

milesvegaa:

“And how am I supposed to help you with this?” Miles said with a raised brow, sitting up on his bed.

“Tell me I’m pretty.”

[parkerhassan]

leilabrookss:

Leila nodded slowly, scooting towards Parker and falling into her open arms. “I’m not mad at you. I’ve just…never liked someone like this and I don’t want to fuck it up,” she mumbled against her shoulder.

Parker wrapped her arms tightly around Leila and pulled her in close. “Maybe it’ll all work out,” she said, hoping she sounded convincing. “My big mouth gets me in trouble more often than not; I think it’s about time it does some good, yeah?”

[welcometonoahyorks-blog]

High on cheetos ||Noah/Parker

[parkerhassan]

welcometonoahyorks:

“Be careful what you say. You haven’t got a taste of me yet.” Noah finished with a cheesy smile and a wink. He observed the girl, who was now sitting. “That is awesome because you clearly love cheetos. I always wanted a cupboard full of sweets, never got it tho. I always got like ponies.” He chuckled. “You gotta beg for my goods.” He winked. “Not for these ones tho.” He said as he took out a few  joints.

“You’re such a loser, oh my god.” She put a hand over her mouth and laughed, nudging him with her foot. “I think something’s wrong with your eye; it keeps twitching at me. And I don’t beg for anything. If I want something, I take it.” She leaned over towards him slowly, eyes locked on him. She plucked a joint out of his hand, a smirk sliding onto her face. “Like that.”

[parkerhassan]

Parker walked into the room and flopped onto the other person’s bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I think I’m having an identity crisis.”

[parkerhassan]

dominiquexspielberg:

“Why will you probably not have kids?”

“Genetics. Bad parenting runs in the family.”

[parkerhassan]

text → nerd

Spencer: Why do you think she wants to kill you?

Spencer: I know I can be the best

Parker: everyone wants to kill me a lil bit

Parker: i don't know when to shut up 90% of the time

Parker: yeah yeah don't let it get to ur head nerd

[parkerhassan]

leilabrookss:

Leila slid down from the stool to the floor, resting her head in her hands with a sigh. “I won’t kill you, you’ll just have to deal with me wallowing in my misery for the rest of my life.”

Parker felt her heart break while looking at Leila; this was her fault, and she knew it. She pushed the chair out from in front of her and held her arms out towards Leila. “I know a hug won’t fix anything, but it can’t hurt, right?”

[parkerhassan]

PARKER HASSAN is NINETEEN, she is a SOPHOMORE and is majoring in COMMUNICATIONS. They are a PLEDGE in ETA BETA and are told that they resemble ELIZA TAYLOR.

MEET PARKER

Growing up, Parker was always really close to her dad. Tom Hassan was a minor league baseball player that had almost made it to the pros before he suffered a career ending injury, and Parker had inherited his athletic ability. She was able to throw a baseball at the ripe young age of three, and by the time all of her friends were starting tee-ball, she had already joined little league. Practicing brought Parker and her dad closer together, and she knew if she looked out from the pitcher's mound, her dad would be in the stands watching.

And then one day, he wasn't.

When Parker was a sophomore in high school, and the only girl on the boy's baseball team, she was a pitch away from throwing the first no-hitter in her school's history. She was on fire, and nothing could break her focus. She looked up to meet her dad's eyes, like she always did before she was about to throw the last pitch, and Tom Hassan wasn't there. Parker lost her focus and the batter hit a home run; her team still won the game ultimately, but Parker still felt like she lost.

After that day, Parker gave up on everything. She wasn't ready to take on so much responsibility; she was fifteen, for crying out loud! She did everything she could to stray away from responsiblity: she quit the baseball team, her grades slipped, she started hanging out with an undesirable crowd, and she discovered the joys of smoking pot. While it didn't mask her problems or help her forget, it helped her gain insight on them, and helped her move past them. She had other methods to help her forget, anyways.

When the time came to leave for university, Parker went as far away as she could get without having to learn a new language. England seemed like a pretty chill place to live for a few years, and a long ways away from North Carolina, and the University of Lancaster was one of the only schools that actually accepted her. She quickly submerged herself into the college party scene, partying her troubles away and ignoring her responsibilities. She was very well-liked amongst the student body, but quickly became one of the faculty's least favorite students--when she actually showed up for class, that is.

Parker started her radio show towards the end of her freshman year at the campus radio station. It took a lot of work to convince her professor to actually let her start one, since she wasn't exactly known for being "responsible", but with months of research and planning to back her up, her professor finally gave in. With Parker's popularity around campus, "Park Talk" quickly became the most listened to radio show in the area, and once it became available for download on iTunes, the most downloaded podcast. For the first time since her dad left, she actually felt as though she could accomplish something.

With her grades finally high enough to make her eligible to pledge, Parker jumped at the chance to join Eta Beta. She was already tight with most of the house anyways; officially joining them was the logical next step. But as nice as it is to have a "family" again, Parker can't help but think about graduation, looming in the distance. She wants to care about her future, she really does, but it's so much easier to drink her troubles away.

THEIR PERSONALITY

[+] CHARISMATIC, LIVELY, WITTY

[-] CARELESS, IMMATURE, COWARDLY

CONNECTIONS

LEILA BROOKS: Leila and Parker were roommates their freshman year, and they became fast friends. They’d stay up late together, party together, occasionally make out when they were drunk; to this day, they’re practically inseparable, and it’s rare to see one without the other. But Parker’s terrified for the day when Leila inevitably leaves her, because she’s not sure she can function without her. DYLAN SIMON: Dylan is Parker’s other best friend, the one she ends up in bed with almost every time after they drink together--in a totally non-sexual way. Dylan is her favorite warm body to cuddle up to, and he’s one of the few people who doesn’t judge her for her dependence on her vices. She totally wouldn’t mind marrying him as a last resort when they’re older like they talk about, but he deserves better than that and Parker knows it. SPENCER HASSAN: Spencer is Parker’s nerdy little brother, though most people don’t even know she has a nerdy little brother. She left him and their four younger brothers to fend for themselves after their dad ditched out, and she feels super shitty for that. She’s never been very good at apologizing, though, no matter how big of an apology he deserves.

❝I LIVE FOR THE NIGHTS THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER, WITH THE PEOPLE THAT I WON'T FORGET❞

FUN FACT: Parker is 100% not attracted to blondes. LATEST OUTGOING TEXT; DYL PICKLE: i left my panties in ur room so your brothers think you’re actually getting laid. ur welcome. LATEST OUTGOING VOICEMAIL; LEI: Hey boo, you’re not answering my texts so I’m resorting to old school methods of getting your attention. Just give me a sign that you’re not dead, especially if it’s actually coming back to the room for once. Love you. @PARKSANDSEX: idk how to spell his name but milo ventriloquist can fuckin get it

[welcometonoahyorks-blog]

High on cheetos ||Noah/Parker

[parkerhassan]

welcometonoahyorks:

Noah saw the blonde girl from far. He stared at the girl opening her arms. “Are you already high? Or…” He chuckled as the girl started hugging the cheetos bag. “Do you really love them that much?” Noah looked the girl in the eyes, putting his hands on his legs. “Seriously, are you okay?” Noah chuckled.

“Don’t hate just because I love puffs of cheese more than you. Jealousy is unbecoming.” She stuck her tongue out at him and pushed herself up to a sitting position, pulling the Cheetos into her lap. “My mom got me a bag of Cheetos for Christmas once and it was like three kilograms or some shit and that was the best Christmas present I ever got. So yeah, I really love them that much. I’m willing to share a few, though, if you show me the goods.”

[parkerhassan]

dominiquexspielberg:

“I’m just giving a personal story.”

“And being a total buzzkill. I mean, I’m probably not even going to have kids, but you don’t hear me bringing that up. Until now, of course, but my point still stands.”

[parkerhassan]

simondsays:

“Not if she’s blonde and beautiful, which she would be. They’re calling her plastic, ala Regina George.”

“Okay, well being thought of as Regina George is still a hell of a lot better than being called ‘parking lot.’”

[parkerhassan]

text → nerd

Spencer: Go through their stuff?

Spencer: Fine – I'm asking.

Parker: not until after i'm a full member

Parker: i think el presidente wants to kill me half the time idk

Parker: UR THE BEST THANK U (kissy face emoji)

[parkerhassan]

leilabrookss:

Leila’s hands were practically shaking, and she held them tighter to the stool in attept to conceal it. “I’m not joking, Parker, I’m going to throw up and when I’m done with that I’m going to kill you.”

Parker squeaked, retreating under the desk and pulling the chair with her. “I swear, he doesn’t normally listen! One of the guys in the house must have it on or something.” She chanced a peek at Leila. “Please don’t kill me; I’m too pretty to die.”

[parkerhassan]

sydneyyjensen:

“Parker… too gross… Come on, now.”

“I call ‘em like I see ‘em,” she said with a giggle. “Sucks about your voice, though. Maybe next time?”

[parkerhassan]

ffs-jude:

“That woman can wear just about anything and get away with it, can’t she?”

“Fuck yeah she can. Even in that ugly ass bathing suit circa 2007, she totally rocked it. I bow at the feet of Queen Tyra.”

[parkerhassan]

birdievincent:

“You’ll have to check for references, too. I mean, you could try to be nice about it, but the bitch thing could be a great fallback option.”

“Three of them, and no relatives allowed.” She dropped her head to her arms, letting out a loud groan. “Being nice is so exausting, though.” She moved her head so her chin was propped up on her arms, giving Birdie an exaggerated frown. “How do I nicely tell him that I just used him for his body?”