۶ৎ paper rings, picture frames & dirty dreams. | j. logan
welcome to the dollhouse, dear reader!
short summary: where john logan wants to propose. unfortunately, the engagement ring is expensive, your future apartment is expensive, life is expensive, and he's slowly losing his mind. pairing: boyfriend!john logan x fem!reader word count: 6.2k warnings: angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, emotional hurt/comfort, secret engagement planning, financial insecurity, discussions of money, reader thinking logan is cheating, emotional repression, crying, proposal anxiety, mild swearing, mentions of grief/loss of a parent, lots of kissing, dean di laurentis being aggressively unhelpful, garrett and tucker being the voices of reason for once, paper ring proposal, excessive use of "babe", tooth-rotting fluff at the end, reader is referred to as a she & as a woman, let me know if i missed any! all characters in this story are adults. english is not my first language, so please forgive me for any errors. a/n: full disclosure, i was bawling my eyes out writing this. i love logan so much. also, dean deserved at least three separate concussions for his behavior in this fic. also, i was very inspired by this. what's kai listening to: paper rings by taylor swift.
18+; mdni. likes, comments and reblogs are always and forever appreciated <3
The place was perfect.
You stood in the middle of the empty apartment, taking in the floor to ceiling windows, the marble of the breakfast bar, the pretty little notch in the kitchen island you couldn't wait to turn into a coffee bar. You could almost see it, almost smell the coffee brewing as the early morning sunlight filtered into room, caressing Logan's face with its golden fingers as he made breakfast. You could almost feel the way his mouth would curl against yours in a soft smile as you kissed him good morning, could almost hear his voice—
"Babe?" Logan's footsteps were soft against the hardwood floors as he rounded the corner with the realtor who was showing you the apartment. His dark hair was falling onto his forehead, blue eyes immediately finding you standing in the middle of the empty room. "What do you think?"
You meet his gaze, melting into him as he wraps an arm around your waist—casual, sweet. You loved that about him, loved that he wasn't a grand gestures, in-your-face romantic. He was steady, calm, the harbor in a storm. "I love it, Logan. It's beautiful."
He smiles at you, squeezing your waist before turning back to the realtor, Anna, taking off to follow her as she continued with the tour of the house. The property was honestly lovely—the kind of apartment you could see yourself living in after the two of you graduated college in a few months.
Senior year had been blissful, to say the least. After you and John finally—finally—began dating toward the end of your freshman year, life at Briar had transformed into something you never would've pictured for yourself. Weekends spent with the boys at the Hawks House, hanging out with Hannah and Allie on game days, parties that somehow always ended with you and Logan sneaking off to the firepit to sip beer and look at the stars. It was honestly hard to believe that you had been dating for only a couple of years—it felt like a lifetime.
And now, with finals, and graduation, and Logan being a shoo-in for the Bruins alongside Garret, you were excited to start the rest of your lives together. Most conversations these days between you and Logan were about apartments, where you guys would live after graduation. You were excited to move out of New Hastings and into Boston, where you'd been offered a job that was honestly, your dream since the day you walked into Briar U.
As Anna wrapped up the tour, you slipped your hand into Logan's, his palm rough, calloused against yours. Anna smiled as she handed you one of the brochures for the apartment. "So, the apartment would be around $3,900 a month. Utilities are not included, of course. I'll need the first and last month's rent if you decide to take the unit. The amount for the security deposit, as well as my fee is at the back of the brochure. If you have a few minutes, I'd recommend taking a walk around the block, familiarizing yourself with the neighborhood. I think you'd really like it."
You felt Logan's arm tense. Not too much—slight enough that you were sure you'd imagined it at first. But then, as you slipped the brochure into your purse, walking down the stairs, you noticed the slight crease in his brow, looking down at his phone. "Is everything okay?"
His gaze snapped up to yours instantly, his face softening the way it always did when he looked at you. "Of course it is, babe. Wanna take a walk around the block, see what's around?"
The two of you stepped out into the evening sun, hand in hand. The apartment was located in Beacon Hill, in a charming old brownstone. The cobblestone streets were lined with little luxury boutiques, antique stores, and gorgeous art galleries.
You passed several such stores in blissful silence, glancing idly at the displays in the windows, until—
"Oh, my God."
Logan was nearly yanked off-balance as you stopped short in front of the window of a jewelry store, mouth agape, staring at a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings. You turned to Logan. "These are exactly like the ones my mom had when I was a kid!"
Logan's face softened immediately. "Yeah?"
You turned back to the window display, pressing closer to the glass, close enough that your breath began to fog up the pane. The earrings were beautiful—simple diamond studs surrounded by a delicate halo of smaller stones. They were elegant, timeless.
"When I was little, my mom had a pair exactly like these. She wore them everywhere. To work, to date nights with my dad, even grocery shopping." A laugh escaped you, your gaze still fixed on the display, unable to tear your eyes away. "I used to sneak into her room and try them on when she wasn't looking."
Logan smiled faintly. You missed the way it didn't quite reach his eyes. "They're nice."
"Nice?" you repeated in mock offense. "John Logan, these are stunning."
"Right." Logan cleared his throat. "Stunning."
You finally dragged your attention away from the display to look at him properly. You couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was off. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but he hadn't been himself lately.
It had been happening more and more often—little moments where he seemed to disappear into his own head, where his smile seemed forced, where his eyes got this distant, faraway look in them, like he wasn't quite in the moment with you.
The crease between his brows was back.
Before you could even open your mouth to ask him about it, his phone buzzed, startling him. His hand immediately to his pocket, pulling out the lit up screen. Logan angled it away from you before you could even catch a glimpse of the caller ID, but you could see the look on his face—something between panic and relief.
Logan cleared his throat. "Sorry babe, I gotta take this."
"Everything okay?" you asked, trying to ignore the sickening sinking feeling blooming in the pit of your stomach.
"Yeah." The words spilled out of his mouth a little too quickly. Almost as if he could see the wheels in your head turning, Logan curled the corner of his lips into a smile—that familiar smile that usually settled every worry in your chest.
This time, it didn't.
Logan didn't seem to notice. "I'll be right back," he said, stepping away before you could say anything else, already lifting the phone to his ear.
You watched him retreat down the sidewalk, broad shoulders tensing underneath his jacket. You watched as his free hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing the spot at the top of spine like he always did when he was stressed.
Your stomach knotted itself further. Maybe it was hockey, maybe graduation, maybe apartment hunting. God knew the two of you had enough going on lately to make anyone lose their mind.
But somehow, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else.
You forced yourself to let it go, instead you turned back toward the jewelry store window. The earrings sparkled underneath the warm display lights—and before you could talk yourself out of it, you were reaching for the door handle.
A small bell jingled overhead as you stepped inside. The store was lovely. Crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, casting soft light over glass display cases. You felt like a kid in a candy store.
A saleswoman was by your side almost immediately. She looked to be in her fifties, dressed impeccably in black. "Welcome, dear. Can I help you with anything?"
You smiled, pointing toward the window. "Could I see those diamond earrings, please?"
"Excellent choice," the woman said, her face brightening.
A few moments later, she was placing them carefully on a velvet tray. Up close, they were even more beautiful. Gently, delicately, you lifted one. The diamond caught the light, scattering a million tiny rainbows across the glass.
Your mother's face flashed through your memory—helping you zip up your prom dress, teaching you how to curl your hair, laughing so hard tears rolled down her cheeks at Thanksgiving dinner. A sudden warmth bloomed in your chest, but it had nothing to do with the earrings and everything to do with the woman who raised you.
"Would you like to try them on?" the saleswoman asked.
You swallowed the lump of emotions in your throat as you nodded, lifting the stud to your ear. The woman stepped forward, helping you fasten them.
Slowly, you turned your head to the side, glancing in the mirror. Your face immediately cracked into a smile. "Oh."
"I take it that's a yes?" the saleswoman laughed.
You turned your head to the other side, watching them sparkle. They really were almost identical—close enough that your mom would've loved them. Without thinking too hard about it, you asked, "How much are they?"
The saleswoman named the price.
They were expensive—definitely expensive. But not impossible.
You'd been saving aggressively ever since accepting your job offer in Boston. Between that and the graduation gifts from family, you could afford them quite easily.
You looked at yourself one more time, thinking about your mother, about all the milestones waiting just around the corner—graduation, moving to a new city, a new life. "Can I give them gift wrapped?"
The saleswoman smiled knowingly. "Of course."
Twenty minutes later, you stepped back onto the sidewalk carrying a small, cream-colored shopping bag tied with a pink satin ribbon.
The evening sun was beginning to dip lower between the brownstone buildings. Down the block, you could see Logan, still on the phone. His back was turned you, one hand shoved into the pocket of his jeans, the other pressed tightly to his forehead.
Your smile faded. The call had clearly lasted longer than expected.
As if sensing your gaze, Logan looked up, his entire expression changing the moment he saw you. The tension vanished, the crease on his forehead smoothening out. His smile returned, easy, warm, and familiar.
But this time, you were almost certain it wasn't real.
His gaze dropped to the shopping bag in your hand. Something flashed across this face so quickly you nearly missed it. It wasn't annoyance, wasn't surprise—it was something heavier.
Before you could figure out what it was, it was gone, and Logan was walking toward you. "Ready to keep walking?"
You slipped your hand into his, the shopping back swinging lightly from your wrist. "Yep."
Logan squeezed your hand—one, two, three times.
Together, you continued down the cobblestone street, neither of you noticing that the things you weren't saying were beginning to pile up between you.
At first, you told yourself you were imagining things.
Logan had a lot on his plate—he really did. Graduation was only a few months away now, and the Bruins had practically been circling him for over a year now. Between practice, games, classes, apartment hunting, and preparing for an entirely new chapter of your lives, it would've been strange if he wasn't stressed.
That was what you told yourself, anyway.
It was becoming a lot harder to believe, now that three weeks had passed and nothing had changed. In fact, if anything, you were afraid they'd gotten worse.
The first thing you noticed were the late nights. Logan had always been the kind of person who could fall asleep practically anywhere—on the couch, during movies, in the passenger seat of your of your car on the trips home for Thanksgiving.
But now? You woke up at two in the morning to find his bed empty.
The first time it happened, you found him sitting at the table in the Hawks House' kitchen, his tired face bathed in the blue light of his open laptop.
When he noticed you, he slammed it shut so quickly that you jumped. "Jesus, Logan."
"What're you doing awake at this hour?" he asked, his eyes widening.
"I could ask you the same thing."
You could've sworn he looked almost guilty as he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just couldn't sleep."
At the time, you'd accepted the explanation... until it happened again. The second time, he was sitting on the balcony, the third time, in the living room. The fourth time he was on the living room couch, claiming he was reviewing paperwork for the Bruins.
Every answer felt reasonable, but every answer somehow made you feel worse—because none of them explained why he looked so nervous, so guilty every time you caught him, or why he hid whatever was on his laptop, or why his phone suddenly never left his side.
You noticed the last part one Thursday afternoon, when the two of you were sprawled across the couch, your head in his lap, his fingers twisted in the ends of your hair as he watched a hockey game.
His phone buzzed on the coffee table, and Logan lunged for it so quickly you were nearly thrown off his lap. The movement was so abrupt that both of you froze.
A tense silence settled over the room. You had that feeling again—that strange, sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach like the day he got that phone call outside the jewelry store. It was stronger now, more potent, almost tangible.
Logan stared at you, forcing a laugh. "Sorry, babe."
Nothing—no explanation. You tried not to think about it, but once the thought entered your head, it became impossible to ignore, because there other things, too. Tiny, insignificant things that probably meant nothing... except they didn't feel like nothing.
You started noticing how often he stepped away to answer incoming calls, how frequently he angled his phone away from you. How many texts arrived late at night. How distracted he became whenever you asked him if everything was okay.
One evening, you were brushing your teeth in his bathroom when his phone lit up on the counter.
You weren't trying to snoop—genuinely. Your eyes simply caught the notification as his phone screen lip up with an incoming text. Your chest tightened—no name, just an unsaved phone number.
The screen darkened before you could read the message. Your fingers itched to reach out and hit the power button, to see what the text was, but no. You trusted Logan—you trusted him with your life.
A moment later, Logan entered the bathroom, almost as if he heard the distinct ding of the incoming text from where he lay on his bed. His gaze immediately found the phone, then you.
The tension in his shoulders materialized instantly. "What?"
You flinched at how sharp the word came out. "Nothing."
His face softened immediately. He stepped inside, reaching around you to pick up the phone, planting a soft, gentle kiss on your temple. "I'm sorry, babe."
You gave him a tight-lipped smile, but the damage was already done. That night you lay in bed next to him, staring at the ceiling. Try as you might, you couldn't fall asleep.
It was ridiculous. Logan loved you, you knew that. You'd never doubted it for a second, not once in almost three years.
John Logan wasn't a cheater. He wasn't.
So why did it suddenly feel like he was hiding something? The question followed you everywhere—to class, to work, to lunch with Hannah and Allie.
Which, unfortunately, spending time with Hannah and Allie only made things worse, because apparently, you were terrible at hiding your emotions.
"You okay?" Hannah asked, setting her coffee down.
You looked up from the drink you'd absentmindedly been stirring. "What?"
"You haven't heard a single thing we've said for the last ten minutes," Allie frowned. "Is everything okay with you and Logan?"
You immediately forced a smile, even as the concern in her voice made your stomach twist. "Yeah. Yeah, everything's okay."
The silence stretched as neither of them looked convinced. Then, Hannah's eyes narrowed. "Oh, my God."
"Hannah, no—"
"You think Logan's cheating on you."
The words came too fast out of your mouth. 'I do not."
Allie and Hannah exchanged a look that you could read all too well. It was a look you knew meant they didn't believe you.
"Oh, my God," Allie echoed.
You groaned. "I don't think he's cheating."
"Okay," Hannah said slowly. "Then why do you look like you're about to throw up every time somebody says his name?"
You opened your mouth, then closed it. Nothing came out—because saying it out loud would somehow make it real. It would make the the late nights, the secretive phone calls, the hidden laptop screens, the weird tension, the distance, the uncertainty—all of it would become far too real.
Suddenly, your coffee tasted like battery acid. Allie's face softened. "Oh, honey."
"I know how this sounds," you whispered, wrapping both hands around your cup. "I know Logan would never—"
The words caught in your throat. Would he?
The awful little voice in your head whispered something ugly—you'd trusted people before, you'd been wrong before. And lately, every time you looked at Logan, it felt like he was standing just a little bit farther away than he used to. Not physically, but emotionally, like there was an entire conversation happening inside his head that you weren't allowed to hear.
The thought made your chest ache, because the worst part wasn't the possibility that he was cheating.
The worst part was that for the first time since you'd fallen in love with John Logan, you weren't completely sure what was going on inside his heart.
John Logan had never thought buying an engagement ring would make him feel like he was losing his mind.
And yet, somehow, here he was—three P.M. on a Saturday afternoon, surrounded by his teammates, staring at a spreadsheet. A fucking spreadsheet. He stared at the screen, already able to feel a headache building as he fiddled with an old receipt from Malone's.
"You know," Dean said from where he was sprawled across the couch, "most people use computers for porn."
Logan didn't even look up. "Shut up."
"No, seriously. Every time I see you lately, you're glaring at that thing like it personally offended your family."
Across the room, Tucker glanced over from his phone. "What's on it?"
"Nothing."
"That's a lie," Garrett said immediately.
Logan finally looked up only to see that all three of them were staring at him, judging him. And honestly, fair. He'd been acting like an asshole for weeks. He knew that, but the worst part, he couldn't seem to stop.
Every time he thought he had things under control, something happened that sent him spiraling all over again—like the earrings.
Jesus Christ, the earrings.
He'd watched you walk into that jewelry store and nearly had a heart attack—not because you'd bought something, but because you'd looked so happy, so excited. He couldn't forget the way your entire face had lit up, and
all he'd been able to think was that the earrings probably cost more than the ring he could currently afford. The thought had followed him home, into bed, into practice the next day, into every waking moment since then.
Logan rubbed a hand across his face. "I need a drink."
"It's three o'clock," Tucker pointed out.
"I need several drinks."
Dean sat up. "Okay, that's it."
Logan frowned, his fingers folding and unfolding the scrap of paper he was still holding on to. "What?"
Dean pointed at him. "You've been weird for a month. Like, you look like you're about to be executed."
"Pretty fucking accurate," Garrett snorted.
Logan glared at both of them in vain—neither of them seemed even remotely intimidated.
Eventually, Garrett sighed. "Dude."
The single word carried enough weight that Logan meet his watchful eyes, studying him carefully. "You gonna tell us what's going on?"
The silence stretched out between them. Logan looked away first, and that, unfortunately, that answered the question.
Three seconds later, Dean practically launched himself off the couch. "Holy shit."
Tucker sat up straighter, meeting Dean's widened eyes. "Holy shit."
Garrett groaned. "Oh, for fuck's sake., what?"
Dean pointed toward Logan. "He's proposing."
Logan froze as the room fell silent, Garret's jaw dropping, Tucker's eyes widening. Then—
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT."
"Keep your voice down, Di Laurentis!" Logan snapped, rubbing an exasperated hand over his face.
Dean looked personally offended. "No."
"Tucker?"
"Nah, dude."
Logan looked over at Garret, who was already laughing. "Come on man, you too?" he groaned, dropping his head into his hands. This was a mistake—a massive mistake.
"I don't even have a ring yet." The words slipped out before he could stop them. Immediately, all three guys went quiet.
Garret frowned. "What do you mean?"
Logan let out a slow breath. If he was already talking, he might as well finish. "The ring I want is too expensive, and every cheaper option feels wrong." Neither of them seemed particularly impressed, but Logan pushed forward anyway. "She deserves something nice."
"She deserves you," Tucker said.
Logan ignored him. "She loves jewelry." The memory of the earrings flashed through his head again—the way your eyes had lit up, the excitement in your voice, the sheer joy.
Dean groaned. "Oh my God." He was looking at Logan like he was an idiot—all three of them were. That annoyed him, because he was already very well aware of the fact that he was being an irrational idiot. "You think she cares about how much the ring costs?"
Logan opened his mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again. Before he could force his brain to string the words together, Garret beat him to it, staring pointedly at the piece of paper Logan was still messing around with. "She'd say yes if you propose with a Ring Pop."
"That's not the point," Logan sighed.
"That's exactly the point."
The front door opened before Logan could argue, the sound instantly drawing everyone's attention. A second later, a lilting, beautiful laugh floated into the house—a sound Logan would recognize anywhere. Your laugh.
His stomach tightened, eyes immediately looking for you as Hannah and Allie entered the house. You followed close behind, and immediately, every ounce of progress he'd made disappeared. Because there—shopping bags. Everywhere.
Bright little logos, gold embossing of luxury brands, of little boutiques, of department stores. Logan could feel his pulse spike. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dean tensing, muttering under his breath, "Oh, for the love of God."
Logan shot him a warning look. Dean rolled his eyes so hard Logan was almost genuinely impressed.
He saw your sift through the room, landing on Logan, and for a moment, a flash of emotions flickered across your face—relief, followed by uncertainty, then settling into something colder, emptier, something that made his stomach drop.
"Hey." Your voice was soft, polite and distant.
Logan hated it with every ounce of his being. "Hey, babe."
You smiled, the look never reaching your eyes. A moment of tense silence enveloped the living room. Logan could feel every single pair of eyes zeroed in on the two of you, and apparently, you could too, because you shifted uncomfortably. "I think I'm gonna put my stuff away."
Before Logan could respond, you disappeared up the stairs. The silence that followed was deafening, everyone's eyes trained on Logan until Dean let out an exasperated sigh, smacking the back of his head.
"Ow!" Logan groaned. "What the fuck?"
"Go."
Logan was up on his feet immediately, slipping the folded paper object into his back pocket before Hannah and Allie could get a good look at it.
And for once, nobody argued. Nobody joked about him being whipped, nobody teased him for being wrapped around your finger—because even they could feel the tension, the distance, the way something had shifted between the two of you.
Logan found you in your bedroom, the shopping bags sitting on the floor next to the bed. You stood on the far end, unpacking them carefully, methodically, like you were trying really hard not to think about something.
The look on your face made his chest hurt. "Babe?"
You glanced up, eyes sliding over his face before going right back to what you were doing. "Hi."
The polite distance in your voice was killing him. Logan stepped closer, words tangling in his throat. He needed to explain, needed to tell you. Except, as it always did in any important moment, his words failed him.
You stared at him expectantly for a moment, then sighed. "I got you something."
"What?" Logan blinked, confusion clear on his face as he accepted the small box you were holding out to him. His emotions knotted tight in his throat as he opened it, because something made you think of him.
Inside, on a delicate velvet cushion, sat a Bruins keychain—a simple, unremarkable trinket that brought him to the forefront of your mind while shopping. Undeniable proof that you were thinking of him, even when you were out with Hannah and Allie, even when you were clearly vexed with him.
His throat tightened. "Babe—"
"I thought you'd like it," you said softly. The smile that accompanied the words was small, sad.
Logan hated it, but more than that, he hated the realization that he'd brought that expression on your face. Because the weeks of stress, of secrecy, of acting like a complete asshole had clearly taken a toll on your relationship, and now—now you were looking at him like you weren't sure what to do with him anymore.
Logan cleared his throat. "I think I owe you an explanation."
You met his eyes, and for the first time all day, he saw something other than distance—hope. It was tiny, fragile, almost undetectable, but it was there.
"Okay," you whispered. The word had barely left your mouth when his phone rang. Logan froze. No. No, no, no.
He glanced down at the caller ID, his heart sinking, and sure enough, it was the jeweler—the custom jeweler he'd been working with for weeks, the one he'd been desperately waiting to hear from.
Before his very eyes, your expression changed. The hope vanished, replaced by the same cold indifference as before. Logan's pulse quickened. "Babe—"
"It's fine."
"I just need a minute."
You waved your hand dismissively, stepping back to create physical space between the two of you. "It's fine, Logan."
His phone continued to ring as he realized this was all his doing. All this distance between the two of you was his creation. The realization hit him like a punch in the ribs, gutting him almost as thoroughly as you brushing past him with the words, "I'll see you downstairs."
And just like that, the conversation was over.
His phone rang again, demanding his attention once more. Logan stared at the screen, then out the bedroom room at the empty hallway you'd disappeared into, and for the first time in weeks, a terrifying thought entered his mind: maybe the ring wasn't the thing he should've been worried about losing.
The call lasted several minutes—several long, agonizing minutes.
Logan barely heard half of what the jeweler was saying, his mind barely registering the words. Custom setting. Center stone.
Any other day, it would've been exactly the conversation he'd been waiting for, but instead, all he could think about was the look on your face when you walked out of the room.
By the time he hung up and headed downstairs, he felt sick.
The house was louder downstairs, Dean arguing with Garrett about something while Hannah laughed. A hockey game was playing on the television like background noise.
Life was continuing exactly as normal, which somehow made everything worse—because nothing felt normal.
Logan found you sitting alone in the lawn chairs by the firepit in the backyard. The sun was beginning to set, painting the yard pink and gold.
You were curled up on the chair, knees tucked against your chest. For a minute, he stood there, just outside your line of sight, wondering how he'd managed to screw up so fucking royally.
The floorboard of the back stoop creaked beneath his weight as he took a step toward you. You lifted your head, your face closing off the second you saw him—and that was the moment Logan truly knew that whatever was happening between the two of you wasn't something he could smooth over with a kiss and an apology. "Can we talk?"
You stared at him for several seconds, then nodded slowly. "Sure."
He lowered himself into the chair next to you, a heavy, uncomfortable silence settling between the two of you—the kind that hadn't ever existed before.
Finally, you spoke. "Are you cheating on me?"
The question hit him so hard he physically recoiled. "What?"
Your laugh was humorless, boken. "I asked if you're cheating on me."
"Babe—"
"Because I don't know what else I'm supposed to think anymore." The words were spilling out faster now, like they'd been trapped inside you for weeks. "You won't talk to me. You leave the room to answer phone calls. You hide your laptop every time I walk in."
Logan's stomach dropped. He opened his mouth to speak, but you kept going.
"You barely look at me lately." Your voice cracked—just slightly, just enough that the sound tore straight through him. "And every time I ask what's wrong, you tell me you're fine."
And suddenly, Logan could see it, could see the weeks of secrecy, of distance, of unexplained behavior through your eyes. God.
Of course you'd think that.
Your eyes were shining now. "You know the worst part?" you whispered, looking away. "I would've rather had you tell me the truth."
The sentence shattered something inside him, because you genuinely believed it. You genuinely thought there was another woman. That after everything—after three years, after every promise, every late night conversation making plans for your future together, you thought he was capable of hurting you like that.
And it wasn't because you didn't trust him, but because he'd given you every reason to question him, to harbor these thoughts.
The realization hit him like a freight train.
"Baby, no," he whispered, his voice cracking. "No."
You blinked. "What?"
"No." The words stumbled out of his mouth broken, desperate. "I'm not cheating on you. God, no."
You stared at him, hurt and uncertainty written all over your tear stained face. He'd done that. He'd put that doubt there. The realization made Logan drop his head into his hands.
For a second, neither of you spoke. Then everything he'd been carrying for months finally spilled out, summed up in eight simple words. "I was trying to buy you a ring."
Complete silence. Logan turned his head toward you to see your brows furrowed. "What're you talking about?"
Logan laughed, a miserable, exhausted sound. "The phone calls, the laptop, all of it. I wanted it to be perfect. The proposal, the dream, everything."
He could see your mouth parting slightly in surprise, but he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out anymore, couldn't stop the tears blurring his vision as he continued in messy, unfiltered sentences. "You love beautiful things,"
"Logan—"
"No, listen. You do." A helpless smile tugged at his mouth. "You stop at every jewelry store window."
You laughed softly despite yourself. "I do not."
"You absolutely do."
A tiny ember of warmth flickered between the two of you, then disappeared. Logan swallowed hard. "The earrings."
Your smile vanished. "The earrings?"
"That day in Boston. Babe, you were so happy."
You stared at him, completely lost, and suddenly Logan felt absolutely ridiculous, but he continued anyway, pushing through the discomfort of laying his heart bare, because where else would he be safe if not with you? "I couldn't stop thinking about how much you loved them."
"Because they reminded me of my mom."
"I know," Logan's voice dropped. "I know, babe. That's what made it worse. Because all I could think about was that if those earring made you so happy, your engagement ring should make you even happier."
He laughed shakily. "And every ring I could afford felt wrong. I kept looking at our apartment options, at budgets, at our future."
His eyes met yours, voice choking as a single tear finally escaped the confines of his long lashes. "I want to give you everything, my love. I want you to have the life you deserve."
"John."
"And it's—it's killing me that I can't do it. It was killing me that I couldn't afford the ring I wanted for you."
You hand flew to your mouth, the tears in your eyes mirroring his.
"And then I started thinking maybe I should wait." Logan shook his head. "But I don't want to wait."
A tear slid down your cheek. "John."
He barely noticed. "I want to marry you."
The words landed heavily between you—simple, honest, terrified.
Logan looked away, unable to hold your gaze anymore. "I know its stupid. I know how insane I sound." Silence, for a moment. Then, quietly: "But you deserve so much better than what I can give you right now."
The sound of your chair scraping as you stood up made Logan finally lift his eyes up off the floor. You crossed the space between the two of you without hesitation. Your hands found his face—warm and familiar and feeling like coming home.
"So let me get this straight." Your thumbs brushed beneath his eyes. "You thought I cared more about a ring than I care about you?"
Logan winced. "When you put it that way—"
"John Logan." The fondness in your voice made his heart stutter. "I like jewelry. I like sparkly necklaces and expensive dress. I like shiny things—but none of those things are you."
His breath caught in his throat as you leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. "I don't care about a large sparkly diamond."
"You don't mean that."
"I do."
'You d—"
"I'd marry you with paper rings, John Logan," you whispered, as his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you to him like you'd disappear if he let go. "I'd marry you with a twist tie. I'd marry you with nothing at all. You're the one I want, and nothing's ever gonna change that."
Logan's vision blurred again, because suddenly, all those nights, all those spreadsheets, all the fears—they all felt so small compared to this, compared to what he had with you. Compared to the certainty in your eyes—the certainty he'd been too stupid to trust.
Something in Logan's chest stuttered, because suddenly, he remembered the folded receipt, still sitting in his pocket. He'd been folding and refolding it between his fingers while Garrett and Dean gave him hell earlier, creasing the paper absentmindedly, and before he could think, his hand was moving.
You frowned as he dug into his back pocket. "What're you doing?"
Logan looked down, letting out a watery laugh.
"Jesus." Carefully, he pulled out the crumpled strip of paper. The receipt had been folded and twisted so many times that it barely resembled what it once was.
Except somehow, he'd managed to fold it into a ring.
A crooked, terrible ring—the saddest excuse for jewelry in human history.
You stared. "Oh my God."
Heat flooded Logan's face. "I was nervous."
A laugh escaped you. "What does that have to do with—"
"I don't know." He was laughing now, too, half-hysterical, half-relieved. "I just kept folding the damn thing."
The ring sat trapped between his fingers, somehow more important than any diamond he'd spent months obsessing over. There was no diamond, no grand romantic gesture. Just you—just the love of his life.
Logan knelt, and despite all the words spilling out of him only moments before, the only word that parted his lips was, "Please."
"Are you serious?"
Logan's voice shook. "I don't have the ring yet. I don't have the proposal I wanted to give you. I don't have it all figured out right now. But I know I want forever, and I don't want it with anyone but you."
A tear tracked it's way down your cheek. "John."
"I know it's not much, but—"
"It's perfect."
"It's literally made out of a receipt."
You laughed through your tears. "So?" The sound nearly stopped his heart. "So was our first grocery list."
Logan laughed—a real laugh this time, the first one in weeks. "Please, babe? Will you marry me?"
"Yes. Yes, you big idiot, of course I'll marry you."
You stared the paper ring from his hand as though it were made of diamonds, holding out your hand for him to slide the ring onto your finger.
It fit terribly. You loved it.
And just like that, every spreadsheet, every budget, every sleepless night, every fear he'd carried for months disappeared.
Because standing in front of him was the woman he'd been trying so desperately to impress, the woman who loved sparkly things, who deserved the world.
The woman wearing a paper ring like it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she'd ever owned.
💌: from kai, with love <3
