Hyominโs full interview for High Cut May 2017 issue
Q. T-ara debuted in 2009 so nowย youโre going on your 9th year as a girl group. How does it feel putting behind all the times you spent together and preparing for your last album?
Honestly, we didnโt know the news would come out first. We were discussing T-araโs future just amongst ourselves when suddenly we saw the articles so it somehow,,, felt like we canโt turn back now.ย โAh it really turned out like this,โ this is how we felt. But deep inside, we thoughtย โsince thereโs still time left, we have to wait until then to really know.โ When we saw the news articles, we shared lots of messages likeย โI feel strangeโ in our group chat.
Q,You must have talked a lot regarding the groupโs future amongst the members.
We all know that nothing good comes from us splitting apart. The things we have achieved so far, itโs a wasteโฆ. anywho, we all cherish T-ara all the same.
Q.But why canโt you be together anymore?
We all want to stay together. But now we are all old, and itโs not likeย we canย force each otherย to choose the same path. Each of us wants something different as well. However, regardless of which company we are in, I hope we can meet upย between ourselves againย later. We talked about this before, thatโs what we are hoping for. To be honest, reality still hasnโt hit us yet.
Q.The fans and the public will probably feel sad about the timing (of your breakup). Because T-ara had so many ups and downs yet still kept promoting steadily and always achieved good results. Even recently, new evidences surfaced about the bullying scandal, in which T-ara used to be drawn as theย โperpetratorsโ, and people started having a new perspective about it as well.
Itโs veryย ambiguous. Lots of time has passed and we started feeling indifferent about it, we canโt even be sure if we had anyย bitterness deep inside regarding that scandal. We donโt feel relieved that โthe truth was revealed,โ not at all, we simply hated that it was mentioned again. Because there are lots of such perceptions about T-araโฆ because we always stay quite or try to be careful but then people start talking about us.
Q.Wouldnโt it be even more sad for the fans that youโre disbanding now after they have sticked together with you all through such crisis?
Our fans is the saddest part about this. Our fans had it tough too. For us, itโs something thatย we brought upon ourselves. Because we know well about our naive and immature actionsโฆwhenever we get criticised or go through difficult times, I believe it would have been difficult for our fans to confidently say โIโm a fan of T-ara.โย We want to repay back our fans even if just by a little, we all feel the same about thisโฆ.thatโs partially whyย we carried on until now. Of course, we also carried on for the sake of our families and ourselves as well.
Q.We heard that youโre very close with your fans.
Yes, there are lots of fans whom we know their names and faces. Our fans are way more mature than we are. I donโt know how to feel about saying this but if I was a T-ara fan, I wouldโve switched to another group long time ago. Rather than being thankful for certain words from our fans, we were just very thankful that they treated us as if nothing happened. Thatโs whyโฆ (Hyomin became speechless here).
Q.It must be very upsetting.
Yes. We feel veryโฆ. Since 5 years ago, we didnโt have any special goal. But even then, not a single member said that she doesnโt want to do this anymore, we just carried on altogether. We came this far just relying on each other (the members) so itโs a shame (to let go now). (Hyomin started tearing up). We talked about this a lot as well. I think itโs only right to keep going until the end. Because if we were to quit we wouldโve quit sooner, and if we didnโt want to do this any one of us couldโve have quit earlier but not a single one of us did.
Q.During T-araโs peak days, you had lots of schedules that you couldnโt sleep more than 2 hours a day. There were lots of different talks about T-ara, but no one can deny than you were a hard working team. Is there anything you want to praise yourself for when you look back on the past 9 years?
Umโฆ.the fact that I became able to just accept and adjust in any situation. In the past, whenever I am put in an unpleasing situationย on or whenever something bad happens, I canโtย accept it and just get sad by myself but now itโs different. Maybe because I got older as well (laughs).
Q.Have you ever thought that if you can fix just one thing about that situation, everything wouldโve turned out better. Have you ever had such regrets about the issues in the past?
โI shouldโve held it in,โ this is what I thought. We all were so young.ย
Q.In a past interview, you mentionedย โI look up about myself a lot. I know even the rumours other people donโt know about myself.โ Do you still do this?
Itโs not that hard. I think I became indifferent. Rather than getting hurt over negative talks, I instead gain strength from the small supporting words or positive mentions in between the lines. The public and the netizens wouldnโt just criticise someone who has no fault. Peopleโs criticism wouldnโt turn into praises all of the sudden, so itโs easier that I change, myself. Thatโs how I thought. Itโs important to recognise the problem, thatโs why I look it up. I think thingsย changed way more positively through time. Although there were still much more negative situations than positive while promoting in T-ara.ย
Q.Through the time you promoted in T-ara, what is the period time you felt the happiest to the point where you want to go back to it?
I want to go back to our debut days. The youngest days of our group promotions. (laughs).
Q.On 30th of July, 2009 you debuted through <Radio Star>, I watched it live and I still remember this vividly; Kim Guraโs dumbfounded face when he saidย โWhy are youย debuting like this?โ
We were fresh out rookies back then so no one even knew our names or faces. All of the MCs were dumbfounded. They told us to introduce ourselves first, they were likeย โWho the hell are you?โ (laughs). We even had a phone call with Kwangsoo CEO during the broadcast.ย
Q.It was such a one-of-a-kind debut. You were probably even more nervous than on stage.
Of course. Itโs a period of time in which one gets nervous over anything. We also were very embarrassed when we saw the script, we thoughtย โwho comes out on TV first then introduce themselves (for the first time).โ We felt that we must introduce ourselves well so we even practiced doing talent shows for each other. We couldnโt just sing and dance only, so we divided roles between us just like in a school play; Boram unnie didย cartwheels, I did musical, Jiyeon did board smashing, and so on. We wanted to show something new.
Q.Do you want to debut in the same way even if you go back in time?
If I had the choice, I do want to do that. Itโs a very big opportunity for a rookie. Actually, we want to go on <Radio Star> one last time before disbanding. We did voice out our desire to do that but we canโt be sure if that will happen or not.ย
Q.Letโs talk about your future. After your last album promotions, you have to slowly start preparing for your solo activities.ย
There are no plans at all yet.
Q.You donโt have anything you want to do either?
There are lots of things I want to do butโฆI donโt think itโs the time to do what I want to do. I want to do something I can beย good at or learn something new. I have lots of interests in videos and pictures so I want to try travelling alone. I have never travelled alone before. I have lots of fears, also my parents donโt allow it.
Q.Wouldnโt it feel lonely?
During a point of time I used to feel lonely when Iโm not dating, but I think I feel way less like that now. Iโm my parentโs only child but I still know how to play by myself. The time I spend alone feels lonely yet fun too. Just because I have someone by my side doesnโt mean it will fill up my loneliness or eliminate theย hollowness in my heart.
Q.Youโre already 29. Itโs a point of time where women commonly start having lots of different thoughts.
I donโt think much about it. I was rather depressed last year because itโs the last of my 20s. But this year, itโs already April before I know it. Each new year, I always have something new I want to try but I donโt think I have anything in particular this year. I just enjoy doing what I want to do from time to time and also rest in between. I donโt think this is right butโฆI will be jobless after T-ara disbands. (laughs). Itโs a point of time where I have to start doing something but I just canโt think of anything. I think Iโm being the most idle Iโve been my entire life. To think about it, I used to plan a lot when I was younger.ย
Q.You worked so hard all that time so I donโt think itโs a bad thing to rest a little now.ย
I think like that sometimes too. I believe itโs a good thing that myย anxiety is gone. We used to have so much schedules but then suddenly none so we now know how to be grateful for having work to do.ย
Q.What kind of group do you want T-ara to remain to your fans?
(Hyomin paused to think for quite a while). There are probably many people who thinkย โT-ara are such persistent kidsโ, Iโve been grateful just for this alone. I really wanted to continue doing this until the end while hearingย โpersistentโ. If I have anything to wish for, I want to beย persistent again together with the members. Although no one knows when.ย
Q.What do you want Hyomin to be remembered as?
I donโt have anything in mind. Iโm grateful even if they just sayย โShe does work hard.โย
HYOMIN ASKS, TAROT CARDS ANSWER.
Hyomin: This might not be T-araโs last albumโฆbut anyway, this so-called โlastโย album, will it turn out well?
Answer: This card refers toย โmeโ of the past. It shows that you had lots of thoughts and worries, but even so, you kept your balance and tried your best to work hard. The card that refers to the current you shows that youโre still maintaining your balance. You are maintaining your balance between your past experiences and the positive influence of your future. At last, the card that refers to your future shows that you will have something to gain even in the midst of a stressful situation. It means that even though you might not be necessarily happy, you will still gain something even in the midst of concerns and worries. It means that you will get stronger and will gain new possibilities in the future. You can say that you will have a successfulย fruit-bearing.
Hyomin: Does thisย divination sign apply both on me and our team?
Answer: Thisย divination sign applies on the person picking up the card. But of course, since the question is about a team album, it will take an influence on that too.ย
Hyomin: Will my solo endeavours turn out well in the future?ย
Answer: This card means that you can be either the superior or the assistant. It means that insteadย of being confident of the things you have achieved so far,ย you will start having the desire to try something new. This card that shows a person hanging upside down means that you will start viewing your job in a different perspective. The other card means conflict. You will have a conflict between the thing/job you have done so far and the new thing/job you will be doing.
Hyomin: Iโm 29 now. Iโm curious about my fate that will approach me in the future.ย
Answer: The two cards you have picked have the same meaning. One means new news coming to you and the other means letter. If we were to interpret this, it means that someone will confess to you. This card means someone will passionately andย enthusiastically ask you out. Itโs a person who has known you for a long time. Theyโve been faithful all along and never had a change of heart. But even so, you will still hesitate. Because the feelings you have for that person are close to friendship. Looking at the card, that person will confess to you very soon.
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