Ani(me)

Lew. My humor consists entirely of puns and I’m working on becoming a himbo full time. Insta: sissy_act

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[lilli-sturmreiter]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[geminiagentgreen]

[system-a-naturae]

[queer-as-city-folk]

Sometimes forgetting to hit post is a blessing in disguise

[recuperationdisliker]

i'm also looking forward to your girlfriend's bottom surgery

[fluffysheeple]

^ surgeon whose rare and sickly pet lizard only eats human testicles

[andaisq]

[foldingfittedsheets]

I had this truly awful lady I worked with many years ago. She was rude, callous, and generally pretty unpleasant. She was exceptionally homophobic to my face. She told me incredibly upsetting stories about animal abuse.

But even with all that negative karma I don’t think anyone deserves to have their boyfriend literally die on them while having sex.

Which is what happened to her.

He orgasmed and apparently that ruptured a blood vessel somewhere important can’t remember if it was brain but I think so and he died with his dick still inside her which I’m pretty sure is the kind of thing that should guarantee you free therapy for the rest of your life.

But the craziest part was that she performed CPR and actually managed to restart his bodily function which is absolutely mind boggling. Can you imagine going from mid coitus to life saving procedure? The presence of mind she must have had. It’s bonkers.

Ultimately, he didn’t live. While she’d gotten his body going his brain never resumed function and he passed a few hours later.

But because she’d kept his heart beating he was at the hospital when he died and he was an organ donor. They were able to harvest his organs under ideal conditions. Even though she didn’t save him she did save three or four other people by resuscitating him.

[rbsqp]

[harpieisthecarpie]

i couldn't decide on one reaction image but uh

[foldingfittedsheets]

DO YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH BEING FUNNIER THAN ME?! Right in front of my salad?!?!?

[michaelnothing]

[michaelnothing]

It's time!

[helenvaughans]

[robotclownindulgence]

[oliviadumhan]

my female role model? the t rex from jurassic park. she just screams and eats. that’s a mood babey

[jam-etc]

…I want to just draw a fashion zine of just Miss Piggy, oh my god. she is so underrated and underutilized, where is my succession-like muppets satire thing LOL I want it so bad. let me do it disney call me pls

EDIT FOR JAN 2025: I’M MAKING A ZINE OF MISS PIGGY FASHIONS. It is happening, I have heard your comments. Please stay tuned to my instagram for updates!! Here’s a preview:

thank you for like, a bajillion notes!!!

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

All my bitches love me.

You ain't fucking with my Duggy!

[cletusthurstonbeauregard]

[queersknight]

If this doesnt change soon, we'll be switching from Les Mis to Scarlet Pimpernel.

[ozempicofficial]

[throathole]

I hope they are still in love and got married

[sabitsukis]

They were still together in part 2. True love is real <3

[johnhalomasterchief117]

necessary addition

[animentality]

[dogpuppy]

[twilight--paladin]

[thatgirlonstage]

Are you ever typing something that your phone autocapitalizes and you go back and re-type it just to force uncapitalize it. Like no sorry mcdonalds doesn’t deserve that level of respect from me

[gaytanic-panic]