He had moved on, he had a girlfriend – a girlfriend that matter and was not someone that he could just get rid of. Yet, without a doubt if Andrea asked him he probably would just kick her to the curb and completely have no guilt left of his action. Which just made him be a bit worried about the power that the petite woman in front of him had over him. Maybe she did have a spell over him; or maybe he had never truly gotten over her and had just pushed himself to follow society’s expectations. After all, no one should be hung up on their ex when they had explicitly made it clear that they could envision a life without them in it and be happy. That had been what Andrea had done. She had packed her bags and gone out there to conquer the world while he had been left conquering the gigantic hole that had been left behind – it had been the one and only time that, that Miley Cyrus’s song of a wrecking ball every made sense to him. There the woman of his dreams stood, right there within his reach physically but in reality she might as well be back in Ireland because now they were in a situation where no matter what he did it was going to be he that was going to cause someone to get hurt – or he would get hurt himself as well. After all, what even made him think that Andrea was still interested in him like that, perhaps she was just here making small talk to be polite; and though he knew with every fiber in his body that, that was not the case considering how that went against everything that she was and her DNA – he still could not dismiss it; ah what power insecurities had over people. “Nothing to say thanks for. You know I am always going to be rooting for you; whatever crazy dreams you have,” And even with all the pain he had gone through and if he was truthful was still digging himself out he knew that it would never be enough for him to turn away from her. Perhaps that was what drove his current girlfriend mad, knowing that Cam did not have a single negative thing to say about Andrea and even when the town folks decided that they wanted to go after her with pitchforks after damaging the town’s beloved nerd it was the nerd himself that told them all to shut up and go back home. “You’re going to have to go up against giant corporations, A – and you know how frightful they can be so just put your eye into marketing and your website. Perhaps get onto instagram and connect it to a twitter as well as a blog; that way you are certain to reach every population – I would even suggest making a facebook because it is the older generation that is keeping that social site up and running.” Of course he knew this because his best buddy was Levi from the marketing team of the company that he had been moving up on. Of course his job was coding so the two did work together every now and then. He was aware that Andrea had not even asked for his help and yet he was right there willing and offering it up to her already. As if nothing had ever changed between them; and in the harsh reality that was true, nothing had changed. Andrea was still Andrea and he was still himself – the two complimented each other and challenged each other; perhaps the only thing that had changed between them is the label – what they were to each other and that now there was another person that his attention had to be on. Something that he wished he cared a little bit more. “You should – right now the studio is just a giant desk with papers scatter all onto the floor and a giant window that I have no idea what to do – I believe the other person that was there before me left a sofa but it was too black for my taste,” He would say something as strange as that; it was too black what did that even mean? Didn’t black go with everything? “But yeah – do stop by. I know that you will be able to win people over and expand your company. Hell bring Tess around as well. You know she could always live up a party – you two do so that will be good. Usually the parties tend to put me to sleep. Bunch of higher ups that I have no idea what they’re saying or asking from life,” Or from him but Christina liked them; and they important for her so he always ended up showing up and sticking next to the cheese plate with Levi as they guessed how much money those idiots spent and how the money would be better spent on charities or the homeless outreach program that he was a part of, but he knew better than to explain this to Christina and hear about some tangent that made no sense at all. “What you see isn’t always the reality,” It wasn’t, he was ok. He wasn’t slumped out on a sofa and eating pizzas a week later because he didn’t feel like getting up and he sure as hell was not in the sweatpants that Christina had managed to burn a couple weeks ago – but he wasn’t happy. Content – yes. Alive – yes – but the happiest he had ever been had been with her. He wondered if he would ever get that high again. “Same to you, Andrea. I am really glad to have you back in town. It’s not my life without you in it so – thanks for coming back.” As he turned around he picked up a plastic flower that had probable been left behind with the parties, twirling it in his fingers he smiled, “I know it’s not exactly what you wanted out of life and you’ll be out of here when you can but – perhaps try to enjoy the town. You’re back during the holidays – we should see if can go to the zoo with the old gang; perhaps see the light up elephants again – I have heard that Mumbo is doing better,” he tucked the flower behind his ear, “Don’t become a stranger. We mean too much to each other.”
Sadness was rippling through her in waves as she looked at him before her, alive, well, and happy without her. He’d gotten a promotion, a stable girlfriend, and managed not to harbor a lick of animosity towards her. Cameron was the only person on this earth that could melt her cold, callous exterior within moments. The person she was with him was a person she’d never be with anyone else, and most likely would never be again. The thought of the safety and warmth that was harbored in Cameron’s arms being a feeling that she’d never feel again was crushing. Of course, she’d run away from that warmth in the first place, fearful of losing it, fearful of not being able to be worthy of it, fearful of the pain that came with the overwhelming sense of happiness. In that right, Ireland had been a positive experience for her because she felt more ready than ever to accept that warmth. But she had been too late. Andrea wanted to believe that there was still a chance for them, but she wasn’t sure she was even allowed to have that kind of hope in the first place. She also knew though that at one point or another she was going to have to put herself out there for Cameron. She knew that she had the potential to hurt him even more by letting him know that she was still in love with him and would always be in love with him, but she also had to put herself out there. The last thing Andrea wanted to do was cause him a smidgen of pain, especially when he was nothing but loving and kind towards her. “I know, I know.” The words were soft and Andrea couldn’t really manage to keep the sadness she was feeling out of them. Her eyes dropped to the floor momentarily before she managed to find the strength to face him again. She really wished she hadn’t bumped into him. Andrea knew that coming back would be hard but she never thought it would be like this. “So I am thinking that there are all those pretentious, whole foodsy mom sorts that are really into buying local, or from small businesses, you know that sort of thing. I’m hoping to break into that world. I’m also going to start a shop on Etsy. But yes I haven’t set up my social media yet because I need to get my brand right. And before I get my brand right I really want to hone in on my skills. Although I’ve been considering doing more of a how-to and having people follow along with me as I attempt to learn flipping furniture. I want to turn the shed in my yard into a place I can rent on AirBnB so I’m thinking that will be my first big project. But I have to do some more research first. When I am ready for all of that though, I might come just come knocking on your door. And simultaneously I can take a look at your office and figure out an Extreme Office Makeover for you.” When she’d finished, the words seemed to leave her mouth like daggers. She’d managed to reach autopilot with him which was nice because she could just be. But when she finished speaking she was reminded of the fact that the feeling of just being was mostly gone now. She’d only have it in the fleeting moments when they had a chance to connect. Was this hurting him as much as it was hurting her? It didn’t really seem like it to Andrea. He seemed so relaxed and normal, like her presence was no big deal to him. Maybe Andrea had grossly overestimated what they had together. She realized that she may have said yes to this party a few moments too soon. Andrea wasn’t sure she could manage to be friends with him in the way he could. With a curt nod, her heart was pained once again, “I’ll always come back for you Cam.” She muttered softly, unsure if she hoped that he had heard it or not. When he grabbed the flower, Andrea felt her heart begin beating in her chest. Was this the sign she’d been waiting for? Was he still in love with her too? But his hand drew up to his ear where he made a most adorable face. The pain set in again so deeply again, she could’ve broken down into tears right then. But that was not and would never be Andrea. No, that would be saved for the pillow to catch at night when she finally managed to get herself to sleep. Mumbo. Andrea knew that Cam wasn’t trying to hurt her because that just wasn’t in his nature. But bringing up their memories like that? Knowing this would be a Christmas without Cam and Cam’s family at that, who now would probably never ever forgive her. The holidays were hard for the cold-hearted. But that wasn’t him or his life and he was now free of that anchor. “I’m here to stay actually. Maybe I was wrong about what I thought I wanted out of life. I could’ve stayed in Ireland but I chose to come back.” She shrugged it off as if it were nothing, thankful for her years of practice in the art of faking it because she had no idea how else she’d make it through the rest of this conversation. “Yeah the holidays with my family, what a dream.” She rattled off sarcastically. “The zoo would be nice. I’d like to see Mumbo doing well for myself. That would actually be a nice holiday gift. I’ll see you at the party Cam.” With another curt nod, she turned on her heal, putting one foot in front of the other as she made her way to the door.
