pastel stripes

hello!! i’m casper (or cas) :) she/they

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”I have no notion of loving people by halves; it is not my nature”

-Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen (p. 28)

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"He taught me that you don't have to climb a mountain to stand on top of the world. That even the ugliest of places can be beautiful, as long as you take the time to look. That it's okay to get lost, as long as you find your way back"

-All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

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"And maybe what growing up really means is knowing that you don't have to just be a character, going whichever way the story says. It's knowing that you could be the author instead"

-Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira (Page 301)

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"Life is gathering the raw materials, and when we die, we get to make patterns out of our lives and relive them in whatever order we want. That way I can spend forever repeating the days when I was really happy, and never have to experience any of the sad days. So that's how you live a really great life. You make sure you have enough good days that you want to go back to"

-Extraordinary Means by Robin Schneider (Pages 316-317)

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"I'd give him all that I am. I'd give him all that I was. I'd open up a vein. I'd tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber"

-Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell (Page 223)

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i’m sorry i’ll just never understand how you can be friends with someone who treats your friends like shit

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do you think she can see the way i look at her? do you think she notices how different i am around her? do you think she can tell that i get flustered and melty whenever she’s around? sometimes i hope she does because maybe she feels the same, but then i hope she doesn’t because i know she will never feel the way i do

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same girl and she still has not a clue, but trust me when i say all our friends do. they ask if there’s something between us. and i wish i could say yes but theres nothing there. they ask if i like her. and i always lie and say no because i’m way too scared.

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LIAR THERE IS SOMETHING THERE #YOURE DATING NOW DUMBASS #EMOPHASEOVER #AHHHHHH

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i was stupid to get my hopes up. how could she ever like me

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HOPES ARE BACK UP

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HOPES ARE STILL UP

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NO BC IM LIKE ACTUALLY 100% SURE SHE DOES, LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR A FEW DAYS WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OMG IM IN SHOCK

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HOLY SHIT SHE DOES LIKE 100% SHE DOES SHE SAID SO HERSELF OMG

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SHES MY GIRLFRIEND NOW OMG OMG OMG THIS IS CRAZY

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i was stupid to get my hopes up. how could she ever like me

[pastel-stripes]

HOPES ARE BACK UP

[pastel-stripes]

HOPES ARE STILL UP

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NO BC IM LIKE ACTUALLY 100% SURE SHE DOES, LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR A FEW DAYS WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OMG IM IN SHOCK

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HOLY SHIT SHE DOES LIKE 100% SHE DOES SHE SAID SO HERSELF OMG

[pastel-stripes]

i was stupid to get my hopes up. how could she ever like me

[pastel-stripes]

HOPES ARE BACK UP

[pastel-stripes]

HOPES ARE STILL UP

[pastel-stripes]

NO BC IM LIKE ACTUALLY 100% SURE SHE DOES, LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR A FEW DAYS WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OMG IM IN SHOCK

[pastel-stripes]

i was stupid to get my hopes up. how could she ever like me

[pastel-stripes]

HOPES ARE BACK UP

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HOPES ARE STILL UP

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i’m so in love with her that it makes me sick

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i was stupid to get my hopes up. how could she ever like me

[pastel-stripes]

HOPES ARE BACK UP

[pastel-stripes]

i was stupid to get my hopes up. how could she ever like me

[pastel-stripes]

do you think she can see the way i look at her? do you think she notices how different i am around her? do you think she can tell that i get flustered and melty whenever she’s around? sometimes i hope she does because maybe she feels the same, but then i hope she doesn’t because i know she will never feel the way i do

[pastel-stripes]

same girl and she still has not a clue, but trust me when i say all our friends do. they ask if there’s something between us. and i wish i could say yes but theres nothing there. they ask if i like her. and i always lie and say no because i’m way too scared.

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i can’t believe i’ve liked this girl for six months. six months of my heart hurting every time i’m away from her. six months of dying inside every time she smiles. six months of silently pining away knowing that nothing will ever come of it. six months of telling myself it’s never going to happen. six months of knowing i should spend less time with her bc that’ll make it worse. but six months of knowing that being away from her hurts.

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almost a year now and it hurts just as much as it used to

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stranger things volume 2 spoilers!!!!!!

I CANT BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY DID IT I WAS SO SURE HE’D BE OK 😭😭😭 EVEN AFTER WE SAW IT I WAS WAITING FOR THEM TO VISIT HIM IN HIDING OR SAY SOMETHING THAT DENIED HIS DEATH BUT NO 😭😭😭 i didn’t see a dead body laying there after so i’m just gonna sit here and pretend that they’re gonna bring him back next season and everything will be ok