…so it’s over now.
initially, i did not want to go on this tour. at the time, i felt that it would be impossible to travel with a person that you personally loathed and felt resentment towards. the reason i went on this tour was because i wanted my friend to see the world and experience it as i do on tour, because he most likely won’t ever get to experience it again. we didn’t break up on a whim; we broke up because our drummer kept going back and forth about our musical direction, when all i wanted was to be friends. i could no longer deal with his fickle character anymore. It has been a long time coming. it was the night of tawny peaks last show on the fourth of july, it was confirmed and we were set to play. the night before the show, our drummer contacted me saying that he had forgotten about his prior engagements and that he couldn’t make it, i asked him what his engagements were and it consisted of partying and barhopping. i never gave him a hard time about playing shows, and i never asked him to put 100% of his time into this project, but to me this show was a big deal and i would’ve really loved to play it. we got into an argument and what had set me off was when he said “…well my life doesn’t revolve around a fucking band.” i told him we were done. to my surprise, a few weeks later I had found out that he had joined arrows in her and it really threw me off. if your life doesn’t revolve around band, why join a serious project? i’ll never know what his motives were and i really don’t give a fuck about them, but it unfortunately left me feeling that i wasn’t good enough as a friend or musician. good riddance. the tour was great and I’m glad I decided to go. we met a lot of interesting people, enough money to get to the next show, and to occasionally buy ourselves food. seeing our friends in philly and dancing til 5 am was a blast. playing on a dock out in the open to a bunch of strangers and staying with feed the scene was great. lighting fireworks in the cornfields of west virginia was fucking amazing. Partying in pittsburgh with such nice people was inspiring. Shot gunning beers on nates balcony in ohio was so fun(sorry nate). damian holding speakers to a bicyclists ear while blasting queen’s “bicycle” in buffalo, ny was hilarious. playing in ct, watching setsuna high as fuck, and eating pizza with the dudes from tri-state era was chill. playing outside in an ope field in Vernon, nj was a life changing experience. So glad that 2/3 of Hannibal montana played a noise set. I no longer feel the same resentment towards nick as I did before we toured, it still sucks, but i’m now peace with it. thank you to too far gone records, driftwood records, gatherer, gifts, oscar bamaca, chris stillmank, all of our friends and to everyone who’s told us that they genuinely liked what we made in this short amount of time. to our brothers damian and edwin, never stop playing music or believing in yourselves, you’ve been inspiring me since I was a young little gg and to know that you guys are not only people that I can look up to, but people who are always there for me, is honestly overwhelming and I’m constantly grateful for it. see you in the next life.
