Dear...
...self,
I think it's important to remind you that you have done a great job the past 9 months. You are a completely different person from 5 years ago; you've shown a lot of growth the past year alone and I know you're capable of so much more. You should give yourself more credit for your resiliency and persistence. That paradigm shift looks sooooo good on you and I know you worked sooooo hard to get to that place. You should be proud of that.
But enough beating around the bush; you still have 3 months before the year ends and that's plenty of time TO. GET. THINGS. FCKING. DONE. What happened to your gym membership? Start using it now! You want to be healthier and feel better about yourself? Then you better get your ass up and work! I understand there's a lot of anxiety about how and where to start because a lot of your insecurities and fears stem from the fact that you're unathletic and awkward (in every sense of the word), and that you don't want to subject yourself to ridicule; all of which are valid. But everybody started from somewhere. Yes, you may feel like a fish out of water surrounded by gym rats and fitness enthusiasts, but who cares? Remind yourself: who am I doing this for? And what do you want to get from it? Where do you want to go? You are never reaching that place if you let the things you have little control of get the best of you. You were biking before, then do it again! That and reading about it should prepare you enough for what to expect once you start doing it. I hope you start NOW. I know that YOU know great things are going to come out of this. As cliché as it sounds, this is a step forward to being the best version of yourself. And at 30, I know you want to be thinking about that.
There's a lot to unpack from the last couple of months and obviously, turning 30 came with a lot of existential crisis mostly centered around deciding what you want to be in this next era, what things you want to take with you and which ones to let go of. That's always going to be a long discussion (so maybe next time, because God knows you can go on and on and on talking about it lol), but one thing that I am sure of is you have to let go of your BAD SPENDING HABITS. Your 20s has been about figuring yourself out and a lot of it meant making excuses about doing stuff because "this is going to lead to me figuring my shit out" but if I'm being really honest, a lot of it is just about spoiling yourself and filling in whatever void you have in your life. Sure, nothing wrong with that as it feels good at the moment and you can argue memories last forever, but you better think about your future too! You were on 3 vacation trips the past 2 months and you are planning to buy a Nintendo Switch (which almost became an impulsive purchase) and had medical expenses when you got sick of dengue fever. READ THAT AGAIN. That should be proof enough that you are spending way above your means! We are way past the point of justifying it by "having something to remember by on my birthday" so you better be working on how to recuperate from those expenses and start strategizing about how you can be more financially responsible in this next era of your life. You have to stop this incessant need to feel validated all the time by material things or experiences because "you deserve it. You DO deserve it, but just like everything in life, excessive is bad news. You have to learn how to strike a balance between being responsible and indulging yourself; claiming what you deserve. So that plan to get more sources of income? Go for it! That's also skilling for you so you are hitting two birds with one stone. You are doing a good job with cash flow forecasting, but you can do a lot better. Save if you can. The pandemic should be enough wake up call to realize that anything can happen in a dime.
Speaking of "deserving better", the other major takeaway is going beyond words and taking ownership of your life. It's no easy feat but if you know what you need or what you want and you want to claim it, then LET THE WORLD KNOW. A lot of times, we get stifled because we hesitate too much. Multiple facets of your life get affected by your hesitancy, so why are you letting it steer your destiny? Easier said than done of course because you have to factor in all variables, but then again, isn't your new mantra to let go of things you can't control? And then focus your energy on things you can? Case in point: relationships. If you are not getting what you think you deserve, why don't you communicate it? Maybe work something out? If not, why are you hesitating on letting it go? Taking ownership of your life means making the hardest decisions too. And being your best self means doing things that's out of your comfort zone as well. If you want to be well-rounded and you want them and the world to know, then OWN IT. You'll still work at your own pace because you know yourself better than anyone, but you can work on being more intentional.
It's crunch time, baby! I'll check out on you again before the year ends, but please know I am always rooting for you.
