welcome to my blog

[pathforger]

im always getting the sense that something is wrong. my sense seems to be dialed in on it, on everything that could be wrong at any given moment. thoughts wandering and determined, cherry picking grievances, channeling disappointment into possibility. maybe my sense needs reprogramming. yes, things are wrong everywhere. of course. things that could be better. more just. things are also right, everywhere. just as much as something is always wrong something is always right, and its right there, ripe for noticing. whats right is much more mundane. it requires no analysis or course of action. it beckons you to sit for a while, still and appreciative, and let it all wash over you. how beautiful it all can be with no intervention. the whims of this wild world that we are all subject to but often meet with great resistance for one reason or another

[pathforger]

i lose my body to the music what would life be without movement

animal self ego dissolution

breathing sharp perfect attunement

[pathforger]

What is to be accomplished on a Sunday?

Was anything made to accomplish anything?

When a predator catches its prey, is that accomplishment?

When a plant photosynthesizes, is that accomplishment?

When the sun rises, and sets, again and again,

When rain quenches the thirsty ground

And little creatures drink and play in puddles

When this alive earth does what it does, the only thing it can ever do,

Has anything ever been accomplished?

It is a manufactured idea,

Rooted in capitalism,

But does not exist inherently

Creatures were not made to profit over other creatures

The wealth was created, painstakingly, naturally, over years, as a gift

By this alive earth

For all alive creatures to share

[pathforger]

🎠

Life is a carousel the way it just doesn’t stop

One pony darts forward, One stays at a trot

This pony loves me, that one loves me not

Some ponies newborn some beginning to rot

Life is a carousel with its rises and falls

Whimsical nature and unusual calls

You must love your pony, the luck of the draw

Limp in its leg or misshapen maw

Sometimes the pony you bet on cries out

I’m tired of going around and around!

🎠

[pathforger]

Impatience arises

What am I rushing into?

What am I rushing away from?

I reach into the next moment prematurely

Before this one has said its piece

Writhing at the weight of its wisdom

The uncomfortable knowing that it’s all right

Here, right now, everything I need

Despite what I want

The aching desire

For something to be different

To be whole

In the next moment

I do not find what I am looking for

There is no solace

Nothing is gained

But the loss is immeasurable

Once a moment slips away

So do its teachings, fallen on deaf ears

The universe remembers

Invisible intelligence adjusts its efforts

Toward vessels more receptive

[pathforger]

What a sad idea

One to put in my back pocket for now

Washing over this reality

A cloud of doubt

Not quite opaque enough to stain

Light enough to carry

Ghosts lie around unsuspecting corners

Beckoning for acknowledgement

Suggesting, in the steady trudge forward

What cannot be undone, what cannot be forgiven

The wind mutters under its breath

Is it a statement or a spell?

[havingapoemwithyou]

PLEASURE by Rick Barot

[super-bold]

[pathforger]

You broke my heart on Friday

And I wish that you had not

But the laundry still gets folded

And the dishes still get washed

The sun will shine tomorrow and I will bask in it all day

The birds will chirp and sing

The squirrels will run and play

You broke my heart on Friday

A shame is what it is

Couldn’t see what love existed

Weren’t equipped to cherish it

The love persists within me

With nowhere left to go

In time it will consume me

Fire raging through the snow

[pathforger]

What if we let it change us?

Keep on talking

Mild illusion

You’re telling me I’m drunk but I’m telling you

I’m choosing

Eyes locked

There’s no refusing

Some would say I’m fucked

I would say I’m swooning

There are ends that are just a beginning

There are deaths just a new way of living

There are wins where you just end up losing

Looking back can really be quite amusing

Let’s pretend there aren’t rules against this

Let a few years slip away in bliss

Dance and love and cook and kiss

Regretting all that went amiss

[makingimages]

[pathforger]

The first spring flower dared bloom like the first beautiful man dared love me

Slowly, and then all at once

An explosion of sensory wonder

Celebrated even by the bees

Dancing in tandem

The first summer day scorched like the sacral burn of our perfect bodies meeting

Melting into eachother

Returning to a place of forgotten belonging

The first autumn leaf dared fall like the moment your gaze dared wander

Hesitantly

Guided by unseen forces

A toe dipped into the inevitable

Testing the waters before the plunge

The first winter snow surged like your final thrashings for freedom

An eruption in protest

What remains, determined to persist

Clinging to the waning light

[pathforger]

a soul inclined toward unrest requires conscious maintenance

a labor of love

to be reminded, gently, again and again,

that the threat is only perceived

and the sun is shining brightly

and the wind has traveled a thousand miles to be here

running its spectral fingers through your hair

kissing your forehead as it brushes past

untangling the wires

[pathforger]

Sometimes I revisit the memory of the day I left you, lingering in the liminal just a while longer

Alone in your apartment, I crawl into bed

Facedown in the sheets

Inhaling the salty sweet

Our final night loving carelessly

As I lay, curled in the imprint of your body

Ache wells up against my ribs

Dread hangs heavy in the air

My love for you sharp and stinging

[pathforger]

bug poem

Im just like a bug

If it could use a hug

Im just like a bug traversing the mud

Exploring the bounds of some grand circumstance

Engulfed by a thought more lofty than not

Entranced by a burning desire to dance

Im just like a bug im just like a bug

A bug on a page

Faithfully roaming the endless word maze

Bound by white space in-between phrase

Seeing it all through a little bug gaze

My bug life is small

It may mean nothing at all

Yet still I trudge forward after the call

Finding god in the pulse

My bug ear to the earth

A familiar tone beckons me home

[pathforger]

you can get trapped in a bubble of anything

i looked at a picture of you today and realized i had forgotten you. how could i have loved somebody so much and forget their face in months? how does time measure against the greatest love of my experience? it turns out there are forces much greater. forces that penetrate more deeply and flicker with truth

it is a strange feeling, forgotten one, one i'd rather observe than attempt to understand. a wild thing, hungry with desire, charging recklessly into the unknown and dragging me with it. i dont protest. i always wanted to be braver

[pathforger]

Fever of 102 and fucked up dreams about you

Day-off suffering served on a silver platter

Seeking solace in the seams of the ceiling

The corners of my mind fold inward

Overlapping strangely

Ghosts linger in the room